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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Elaine Ambrose

Today’s Cabernet

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Tonight’s blog was fueled by a glass – or two – of 2005 Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon from Santa Rosa, CA. It’s only $18 a bottle and a wine I’ve enjoyed for several years. Actually, it was comfort food after my recent move. Who needs warm soup when you can sip on an old favorite?

Filed Under: blog

Midlife Cabernet: Watering the Artificial Flowers

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

This week I visited Mom at her care facility, and we enjoyed a bland, soft-food lunch in the pleasant dining room. During the meal she dumped her water glass into the vase of plastic flowers on the table, explaining that the blossoms lasted longer that way. I nodded in agreement.

I’ve finally learned to accept such actions. Over the past few years, it’s been a struggle for me to acknowledge her mental deterioration. There has been a cadre of physical therapists to keep her active, various puzzles and workbooks to challenge her brain, and regular family activities with the grandchildren and their children. Despite our best efforts, she is slipping away.

I reached acceptance one day as I was trying to teach her how to use the television remote control. Finally she burst into tears.

“I can’t do it!” she cried.

Not even her love of the Lawrence Welk Show could motivate her to remember how to push the power button and then the correct channel button. So I stopped trying, and we’re both happier. The patient, loving staff now assist her on Saturday nights at 7:00 pm to turn on the television. She still wonders why Mr. Welk never seems to age.

Her small but tidy room is covered with family photographs, but now the pictures have name tags because she can’t always remember who they are. I often find her staring out the window, lost in some memory. She’ll look at me with confusion until she recalls I’m her daughter. I know there will come a time when I’m just another nice person who comes to visit.

My unspoken fear is that I may duplicate the scene with my children, and that thought brings me to tears. For now, I’ll make the journey to Wendell, back to the hometown, to make small talk with my mother. And, we will continue to water the artificial flowers.

Today’s blog is fueled by a 2010 Joseph Laurence Charbono from the Frediani Vineyard in Napa Valley. The Charbono grape originated in France and produces a dark, intense wine with a distinct character. Find details at www.thomasmichaelcellars.com.

Filed Under: blog

So I Moved One Week Before My Daughter’s Wedding…

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

I’m insane. Yup. Probably should be swaddled in a padded crate and sent to some island where I can sit under a palm tree and make baskets. Except, that would require focusing.Two weeks ago I moved into a darling house that is about 50% smaller than the one I left. And, it was a week before my daughter’s wedding. Hindsight tells me that was not the best planning on my part.However, I’m in the new place, I have four storage units, the wedding was fabulous, and I’ve stopped twitching so much. Here are some highlights of the past two weeks:I have no dishes, except for wine glasses. I do know my priorities. The rest of my kitchen stuff is in 100 boxes somewhere.Two days before the wedding, I ran into a hair salon in a strip mall and declared, “I need a cut and color and I need it NOW!” The result was amazingly positive. And, at half the price I usually pay.I discovered that I can live with one box of toiletries and cosmetics. So what do I do with the trunks of stuff I have stored?The worst part of the entire ordeal was going a week without Internet. Finally my son told me to take my lap top to a coffee house. Duh! I caught up on 900 emails while I gulped my favorite hazelnut latte.The best part: Watching my 81-year-old mother lovingly accept the wedding of her only granddaughter – even though they have been together five years and have a darling 17-month-old daughter. The times, they are a changing!

Filed Under: blog

Today’s Cabernet

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Today’s blog was fueled by a glass of 2006 Tamarack Cellars Firehouse Red from Columbia Valley in Washington State. This wine is only $21 dollars a bottle but received a 90 point rating from Wine Spectator Magazine. It’s a delicious, full-bodied blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Sangiovese, Carmenere and Malbec. This is perfect sipping wine to enjoy on the patio on a gorgeous end-of-summer evening.

Filed Under: blog

Chaos vs. Comics

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Sunday mornings have a certain ritual: Greet the day with gratitude and then grind some hazelnut coffee, turn on light jazz music, and settle down with the newspaper. I read the front section first to get my fill of politics, global chaos, and local angst. Then I dig out the comics to find some relief from circumstances I can’t control. For balanced satire, my favorites are Doonesbury, Opus, and Mallard Fillmore. Then Dilbert, Non Sequitur, and Mother Goose & Grimm are next. (Today on the Mother Goose & Grimm strip, Noah is loading animals into the arc and someone asks, “Do we need extra ram?” Too funny.)But, alas! For over twenty years I’ve been reading For Better or For Worse – the realistic story about a family in Canada. Two weeks ago Cartoonist Lynn Johnston wrote that the family was going back in time to start over. She then summarized the future lives of the characters. Wait a minute! I’ve known Elle, John, April, Michael and Elizabeth Patterson for almost twenty years. How can they just disappear? They’ve probably gone to share laughs with Calvin and Hobbs, another great cartoon strip that no longer exists in my Sunday paper. In a perfect world, the Pattersons, Opus, Mallard, and Dilbert would be in charge of daily events, and the horror and garbage of the news could be written off so we could start over. Maybe next Sunday I’ll start with the comics first.

Filed Under: blog

Palin Paranoia

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Today I received a mass email adamantly calling for support of a group and blog called “Women Against Sarah Palin.” I won’t participate in this because we will never achieve equality with men with this sexist attitude. There never will be a group called “Men Say No Obama” or “Men Against McCain.”

Filed Under: blog

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