Divorce sucks. I’m not proud to join the 50% of US married couples who get divorced, but it happened and I’m sassier because of it. With personal trauma and drama, I turn to humor to keep me from causing great harm to people or objects. Some people use inspirational quotes to sustain them; I use comedy.
“Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce,” according to Larry Gelbart, the wonderful comedy writer who developed the hit television show called “M*A*S*H.”
Another astute comedienne, Rita Radner, often says, “Whenever I date a guy I think, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’”
And, one more comment for the middle-age crowd: These days, parents pray the youngest child will get married and move out before the oldest one gets divorced and moves back in.
Humor helps me from morphing into Sissy Spacek’s character in the movie “Carrie.” What woman wouldn’t love to have telekinetic powers for just one day to seek revenge on all those who had done her wrong? Especially at the prom! But I wouldn’t look good in prison orange, so I reduce the angst by writing, reading funny books, and consuming copious quantities of red wine. That works for me and it’s totally legal.
One major negative of divorce is how quickly a person comes into and goes out of a family. I don’t care to see my ex ever again, but I do miss his sister, Joanne. It’s too bad the in-law package is lawfully attached to the marriage. We’re the same age and I haven’t seen her for six years since I sang at her mother’s funeral mass. I was still married to her brother but we were experiencing our own death of a marriage.
Joanne lives in Alaska, so I don’t get to see her. I do keep in contact with her through Facebook and emails, and I communicate with her wonderful children. During the past week, we experienced similar joys as our sons and their wives had baby girls and both babies were given the middle name of Michelle. It’s difficult to describe the bond we feel as friends and new grandmothers. I don’t like the “ex” label, so I hereby officially declare that we are still sisters.
We learned this morning that Joanne’s new grandbaby has been flown to a major hospital for emergency surgery for heart problems. Her son lives in Alabama, and I can only imagine how Joanne must feel. Just once, if I had telekinetic powers, I would bring them all together, give the doctors super powers, and make the day end with songs of great joy and celebration. Yes, newborn babies trump horror movies any day.
So, from Idaho to Alaska and Alabama, here’s my unfunny and heartfelt message of hope and healing. Fight hard, Baby Girl Capozzi. Your grandmother wants to hold you some day.
Today’s blog was fueled by a 2010 Fidelitas M100 from Columbia Valley. It’s a smooth blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Malbec, and Petit Verdot. It sells for about $28 a bottle and is a perfect wine to share with a sister.