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Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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You are here: Home / blog / Midlife Cabernet: Well Kiss My Attitude – We’re Going National

Midlife Cabernet: Well Kiss My Attitude – We’re Going National

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

There is an advantage to being old, feisty, and fairly literate. I’ve been asked to write a national blog to mentor young women. Really. Stop snickering! The woman who asked me to do the blog said the success of this Midlife Cabernet blog and my humorous life experiences (over many, many years) would help “to mentor the target audience with their goals, careers and missions in life.” I suspect that the real reason is so future generations can avoid my numerous and spectacular mistakes.

I’ve titled the blog Sassy Sage, and I’ll exploit my adventures, misadventures, and stumbles down paths less chosen. My nuggets of knowledge will focus on a wine barrel full of womanly issues: jobs, money, sex, creativity, travel, marriage, divorce, paying alimony, remarriage, pregnancy, children, grandchildren, and the joys of eldercare. I’ll explain why Chardonnay is for sissies and why dry red wine will preserve you forever. I’ll dabble with my multitude of failures: real estate, wool jumpers, and turkey meatballs. Yes, I’ll have opinions and anecdotes about everything just because I’ve lived out loud for so many decades.

To ensure the purity of my advice, I intend to wear a golden robe, sit in a lotus position, light lavender candles, hang a chime over my computer, and listen to Enya while I write each wise epistle. Then I’ll change into jeans and sweater, open a bottle of wine, play some Queen, and wait for the glowing and/or nasty comments and compelling questions. Nothing can hurt me because I grew up on a pig farm, worked in corporate America, raised teenagers, and once rode a bull elephant in the jungle and witnessed a vicious tiger kill a screaming bison. Therefore, I am fearless.

My contributor page is under construction somewhere in cyberspace so I’m not sure when the official launch will occur. But stay tuned. This could be the reincarnation of Erma Bombeck, Dear Abby, Yoda the Oracle from Star Wars, and the Playboy Forum.

Today’s blog is fueled by another bottle of 2010 Three Legged Red by Dunham Cellars in Walla Walla, Wa. It’s tasty and smooth – and only $18 at A New Vintage on Eagle Road. Be sure to read the label.

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