Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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My Broken Heart

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Echocardiogram Machine

I had a heart attack during the night after giving a presentation at a writer’s retreat in Mexico. I didn’t want to go to a hospital in a foreign country, so I contacted the airlines and requested a wheelchair for the journey to Idaho. On the positive side, a wheelchair makes it a breeze to get through U.S. Customs and to be first onto the airplane.  Struggling for breath, I maneuvered my carry-on suitcase to the nearest chair and fell into it, panting for air. One thought repeated through my mind: Get home.

My favorite wheelchair pusher was in the Los Angeles airport. My guardian angel appeared disguised as a gregarious, Black woman named Diamond. She assisted me into the chair and eased my distress with funny stories as she negotiated the crowds. I finally could breathe without gasping and asked her if she had been a race car driver.

“Oh honey, no,” she said with a laugh. “I’ve been doing this for 30 years. You wouldn’t believe the people I have guided through these corridors. Lots of famous people. Are you famous?”

I smiled. “More like infamous,” I replied. I explained how I was returning from Todos Santos, Mexico after presenting a workshop at a writer’s retreat.

“I want to write a book!” she exclaimed as she careened around a corner to the gate. “I have tons of stories!”

I encouraged her to find free online writing courses, write every night, and compile her memories into short stories. As she pushed my chair down the ramp to the plane, she promised to send me a copy of her future book. I thanked Diamond and hoped I’d be alive to read it.

Taking My Breath Away
My breathing problems began months earlier. I ignored the loss of breath and low energy, believing the problems would go away. They didn’t. Finally, on May 25 I had an EKG, and my doctor identified a “left bundle branch block,” meaning there was a blockage on the left side of my heart. The condition indicated heart disease. That diagnosis wasn’t on my agenda.

She referred me to a cardiologist and warned it could take months to get an appointment. I got on the phone with the determination of a woman who didn’t want to die during the summer. The stars were aligned, the doctor at St. Luke’s Idaho Cardiology Associates had a cancellation, and I secured an appointment to see him on June 3. The cardiologist reviewed the EKG and ordered comprehensive blood work, a complete transthoracic echocardiogram, and a Nuclear Lexiscan stress test. The Nuclear Lexiscan test injects radioactive dye into the blood, and a camera detects damage to the heart and blocked arteries. The four-hour procedures were scheduled for June 29, only five weeks after the initial EKG. The cardiologist gave me permission to attend the writer’s retreat in Mexico but with a stern warning to avoid stress. I laughed.

On June 29, I was ushered into a room with Teresa, the medical technician who would perform the echocardiogram. I watched the monitor as she applied a gel to my chest and moved a tool called a transducer. I immediately admired and appreciated my heart. There it was, pumping as best it could. The average heart beats more than 100,000 times in one day, about 35 million times in a year. My heart was the most consistent part of my entire life. I regretted not taking better care of my heart health.

After an hour, Teresa called for an IV to be inserted in my arm so she could take more tests. Then she called for the cardiologist. I suspected something was wrong.

“Keep beating,” I silently begged my heart. “I need ten more years.”

The cardiologist appeared after reviewing the echocardiogram. “We’re cancelled the three-hour Nuclear Lexiscan test,” he said. “Your heart is too weak.”

I had failed the heart test.

Barbara Hershey and Bette Midler in Beaches

I’d Rather Play Bette Midler’s Role in Beaches
He explained that my heart only was working at 70 percent because of a damaged left ventricle. I had cardiomyopathy; a disease similar to what killed Barbara Hershey’s character in the movie Beaches. I’d rather have played Bette Midler’s role.

He prescribed several medications and scheduled a return visit for July 22. Depending on the prognosis, I could be cleared for the Nuclear Lexiscan test. After that, a pacemaker could be installed to regulate the flow of blood. The next scenario would be open heart surgery. I was way too young for all those medical procedures, but I knew heart disease was the #1 killer of women. I wanted to live.

What causes heart damage?
Smoking – I have never smoked, not even during the 70s in college when everyone was smoking pot. I wanted to retain all my brain cells.

Alcohol – I lamented my proclivity to prefer wine over workouts. Four days ago, I changed to sparkling water in a wine glass.

Diet – More veggies for me.

Exercise – I had exercised by carrying emotional baggage. That will end, and now I have a set schedule to exercise every day.

Age and Heredity – Thanks, Dad and Mom! However, I’ve enjoyed 69 splendid years.

Stress – What, me worry? It’s been a stressful year. We moved in January, I tore ligaments in my leg in February, performed a writing webinar on Zoom in March, had a brain MRI for acute headaches in April, and appeared twice in District Court in May to appeal a cruel and undeserved Protection Order against me. The judge terminated the order, but the ordeal emotionally broke my heart. The writing workshop in Mexico was in June. All those issues contributed to copious quantities of stress.


This week, I’ve had fun clearing my calendar, postponing appointments, and canceling workshops, but I intend to appear in a live comedy show for a women’s conference in October. Until then, my day will focus on staying alive and starting a (short) walking routine. My goal is to walk away from painful, stressful situations and walk toward better health. I have a broken heart. I might not be able to mend it, but I can tend it.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Prayers for you my friend!! Can’t wait to see you in October! That’s my birthday!! ????????

  2. Powerful, candid story about life as a woman of a certain age. It is where we all are. And we are in good conpany. Despite life’a curve-balls, Elaine, your aching heart hasn’t lost it’s courage or it’s sense of humor.

  3. You are strong! Of course you have a broken heart….need I say more? My love, friendship & prayers are with you! Even in crisis your story is full of belief that you are goin* to be fine! ????????❤️

      • Sorry to hear about your damaged heart! I am so glad the judge ruled on your behalf! That is a great step toward healing. I find I am healthier & feel better when I follow Dr. Peter D’Adamo’s protocol based on blood type. He has a book on cardiovascular health also that offers best type of exercise, foods, etc. Where will your October event be? Take care of yourself.

  6. Shit….

    Let’s get the butt kicking machine out and make some lemonade. You are going to be fine. It will take some work, some changes, but screw it…you will be fine

  7. Prayers and hugs Elaine. Your heart is too wonderful to give up. You’ve got this! ❤️

  8. Even though we are only NEW BEST FRIENDS I feel we have tons of STRESSLESS catching up to do. Maybe on some short walks…..I adore you ❤

  10. Happy to hear that you are on a new path to a healthier heart and wish you complete success! So very sorry you are going through this tough time. Heart Disease is not an easy road to travel, but you have your priorities set in the right direction ????♥️♥️ You are loved and appreciated & God has a plan for you. No stress please. Hugs.

    • Thanks, Deana. I think my guardian angels were weary and wanted me to rest. I’ll follow the doctor’s orders and try to life a healthier lifestyle.

  11. Thanks for sharing so openly what’s up with your heart and health. Hopefully we can all learn from your experience. Please know that you’ll be in my prayers daily. Lots of love and blessings, Willa

  12. You have a broken heart. I have broken bone marrow cells and 11 vertebral compression fractures. Maybe 67 is the new 87. Seriously, I was already woke. I didn’t need a wake up call. Maybe I need to see this as grist for a writing mill and restart my blog. I look forward to following your heart’s journey. I know you’ll find the humor somewhere in your situation.

    • Thanks, Suzanne. I think you’re an overachiever in the calamity department! Here’s to your recovery along with mine. We can write about all this as a warning and lesson to the young whippersnappers. Take care!

  13. Hey you! Wow…..I wondered why you’d been relatively silent. I am sorry to learn of your heart issues. STOP COPYING ME! HA! I’ve seen more doctors in the past 3 months than in the past 3 years! Ugh! Podiatrist, Neurologist, Cardiologist, Rheumatologist and wore a heart monitor for 2 weeks. The long and short of it, I have Afib. I am on a blood thinner and I go in for a stress test next Tuesday. BLEH!

    Much as I hate to admit it kiddo – we’ve oficially become the OLD PEOPLE from my childhood talking about their health and sugeries around the dining room table while playing canasta. The main difference is they were smoking cigarettes and drinking highballs!

    Please take good care of yourself. Find a good yoga class that focuses on breathing and stress reduction. I’ll be thinking of you.❤

    • Thanks, Leslie. I agree – I never thought I’d be “that” person talking about ailments and lining up pill bottles. We’re too cute for all this. Take care. We need funny women.

  14. Keep on walking! We need you!
    P.S. Where will you be in October?! And can I be there as well?!

  15. My heart has a message for your heart: hang in there you beating rock star!! It is amazing what can be done to make us better to live, laugh and pump another day. Let’s promise to do our heart healthy stuff together so we can go many million pump years to the future!! Sending strength, hope love❤️❤️❤️

    • Thanks, Nurse Plummer. Could you bring me some ice water and dancing pool boys? Yes, let’s share heart-healthy tips and keep the positive attitudes. You are correct – we have million of pumps left to go. Sending hugs across the country to you.

  16. Keep fighting Elaine! You have no idea how many people are inspired by your resilience, strength, and humor. Sending all the good thoughts and prayers.

  17. I’ll be praying for you and your broken heart ???? Both my grandma and mother had heart problems, but smoking was very much part of their lives. You’ll be better soon and keep the worries away ????????????

  18. Hi Elaine-
    Sorry to hear about your heart issues. So far, so good for me on that front. My issue seems to be more related to balance, so that’s what I’ve been working on. However, I appreciate your sharing your struggles. I have been thinking that I thinking that I need to get in for a physical-haven’t had one for a while & am in between doctors. I start calling health care providers on Monday. Thanks , Shelley Davis-Brunner

    • Thanks, Shelley. I never wanted to be “that” person with a row of pill bottles, but I’ll have at least five prescriptions. I am focused on improving my health. I’m not done yet – and either are you. Please get a physical.

  19. Elaine, you’re strong from within. I know your determination to be healthier will win. Love you

    • Thanks, Carolyn. You and I both know life is unpredictable. I’ll try to get healthy. I wish I didn’t love wine, cookies, and chocolate!

  20. Now it’s time to focus all your intelligence, creativity and drive on getting stronger. Since you have all of that in abundance, it should be a piece of cake ( oops, I meant a veggie frittata!). Prayers and positivity winging themselves your way to help out.

  21. Not to scare you but my late husband, James, had “right bundle branch block.” He had a pacemaker implanted, and we thought everything was fine, but obviously it wasn’t. He died ten years later of cardiac arrest and yes… prior to his death he’d been under EXTREME family stress. He also continued to smoke!! I don’t know the difference between “left and right” bundle branch block, but you might check into it. xoxox, Brenda

    • Brenda Ray Coffee – thanks! The difference is how the blood flows either to the lungs or to the rest of the body. The right side of the heart is responsible for pumping blood to the lungs so it can be oxygenated. The oxygenated blood returns to the left side of the heart, where it’s pumped to the rest of the body. My left ventricle doesn’t work. I hope to get a pacemaker and be mischievous for at least ten more years.

  22. Elaine, I have so enjoyed following you over the years. Your unending sense of humor and ability to write humorously about everything life deals you is heartwarming (no pun intended ????) and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your latest ‘plot twist’ . Prayers for a new, healthier chapter in your life story.

  23. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Fortunately, you caught the problem quickly and have great care. Nothing like telling you to try to have no stress when the doctors’ statements cause stress! Time to take care of yourself, my dear. You can do it!

    • Thanks, Joanne. I thought I was too busy for this crap, but life had other plans. I’m following the doctor’s orders and canceling appointments. I need to stay around to irritate people for another ten years.

  24. Eliane, I’m so sorry to hear about your heart 🙁 I wish you were Bette Midler too! Glad you are clearing your plate for a more peaceful and meaningful life. I am here when you’re ready to dive back in. Nina