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What’s more fun than a party of twenty fun-loving women? A party with autographed copies of Menopause Sucks and sassy appetizers, that’s what!The first annual “Kiss My Attitude” night at Seasons Bistro and Wine Bar was the hit of the Eagle Wine and Food Gala Auction last Friday night. After a rousing round of bids, our donation went for $1,700. (The governor’s donated cowboy hat went for $500!) Our donated party was so popular, we decided to donate it again. The second time, it went for almost $1,000. Proceeds from the auction benefit the International Special Olympics Winter Games that will be in Idaho next winter.At our donated party, the following menu will be served to the winning women:Whine and Cheese PlateCrabby Cakes with No-Sweat SauceWild Woman Won Tons with Sassy SaucePMS Pita with Hot Flash HumusI’ll read irreverent excerpts from the book and regale the audience with hot stories and humorous anecdotes about how to survive menopause without hurting someone. It promises to be a grand time.

Tonight’s blog was fueled by a glass of 2006 Fidelitas Red Wine from Columbia Valley. This wine is a delicious blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Malbec, and Petit Verdot. It’s only $18 a bottle, so buy a case and enjoy this for every day wine that’s bursting with flavors of dark chocolate, cassis, vanilla and spice. It pairs nicely with bruchetta and pasta with fresh Parmesan. Yes, I know that’s a lot of carbohydrates, but you can balance it with fresh veggies and some fruit for dessert. Cheers!

Wouldn’t it be great if you asked your doctor how to deal with menopausal symptoms and she told you to eat plenty of chocolate and blueberry scones, and then wash it all down with copious amounts of red wine? Unfortunately, we’ve all lived long enough to know that life doesn’t work out that way, and when it comes to combating the effects of menopause, you’ll be advised to eat a different kinds of foods, namely those that are healthy.Yes, menopause may bring a gaggle of gruesome maladies, including hot flashes, dull skin, memory loss, and flatulence, but chocolate, flakey baked good, and dry wine won’t do anything to ease the pain (at least in the long run). Fortunately, there are some foods that will: Increase your soy intake. Recent studies indicate that middle-aged women who consumed at least three soy products a day reported positive benefits for their hearts and bones. Soy protein also can improve skin, hair, and nails. Once considered a tasteless waste of chewing, today’s soy products include flavorful foods, such as soy cereal and roasted soy nuts. Soy products also can reduce hot flash frequency.Fish fat makes you fabulous. Studies show that middle-aged people who consumed omega-3 fats on a regular basis scored higher on memory tests. These fats can be found in flaxseed, salmon, sardines, tuna, and in fish oil supplements. Drink green tea. Rich in antioxidants, green tea is good for strong bones and a healthy heart. Studies show that several cups of green tea every day can decrease the risk of stroke by 69 percent. You’ll also get your exercise by running to the bathroom all day. Cool it on the hot sauce. If you live anywhere south of the North Pole, you’ll probably suffer from hot flashes and night sweats. To help alleviate the problem, eliminate spicy foods and caffeine from your diet. Eat more fresh vegetables and fruit, and don’t go to bed on a full stomach. Fight flatulence. Sudden and uncontrollable flatulence is another cruel trick from Middle-aged Mother Nature. To help control symptoms, reduce the consumption of gas-producing foods such as green vegetables and beans. Don’t gulp food because you swallow air and it has to get out somehow. Also, don’t drink too much soda because the carbonation will create little tubas that like to toot every time you bend over. Hydrate your health. Drink six to eight glasses of water every day to help keep your skin clear and supple. Water also can reduce problems associated with cramping and constipation. And, nobody wants to be remembered as the cramping, bloated, wrinkled old woman who didn’t drink enough water.If you are what you eat, then I’m a deep-fried Twinkie. But, in a defiant effort to live long enough to irritate my great-grandchildren, I’ve decided to improve my diet, increase my exercise, and make it through menopause without hurting someone. It’s a lofty goal.

Wouldn’t it be great if you asked your doctor how to deal with menopausal symptoms and she told you to eat plenty of chocolate and blueberry scones, and then wash it all down with copious amounts of red wine? Unfortunately, we’ve all lived long enough to know that life doesn’t work out that way, and when it comes to combating the effects of menopause, you’ll be advised to eat a different kinds of foods, namely those that are healthy.
Yes, menopause may bring a gaggle of gruesome maladies, including hot flashes, dull skin, memory loss, and flatulence, but chocolate, flakey baked good, and dry wine won’t do anything to ease the pain (at least in the long run). Fortunately, there are some foods that will:
Increase your soy intake. Recent studies indicate that middle-aged women who consumed at least three soy products a day reported positive benefits for their hearts and bones. Soy protein also can improve skin, hair, and nails. Once considered a tasteless waste of chewing, today’s soy products include flavorful foods, such as soy cereal and roasted soy nuts. Soy products also can reduce hot flash frequency.
Fish fat makes you fabulous. Studies show that middle-aged people who consumed omega-3 fats on a regular basis scored higher on memory tests. These fats can be found in flaxseed, salmon, sardines, tuna, and in fish oil supplements.
Drink green tea. Rich in antioxidants, green tea is good for strong bones and a healthy heart. Studies show that several cups of green tea every day can decrease the risk of stroke by 69 percent. You’ll also get your exercise by running to the bathroom all day.
Cool it on the hot sauce. If you live anywhere south of the North Pole, you’ll probably suffer from hot flashes and night sweats. To help alleviate the problem, eliminate spicy foods and caffeine from your diet. Eat more fresh vegetables and fruit, and don’t go to bed on a full stomach.
Fight flatulence. Sudden and uncontrollable flatulence is another cruel trick from Middle-aged Mother Nature. To help control symptoms, reduce the consumption of gas-producing foods such as green vegetables and beans. Don’t gulp food because you swallow air and it has to get out somehow. Also, don’t drink too much soda because the carbonation will create little tubas that like to toot every time you bend over.
Hydrate your health. Drink six to eight glasses of water every day to help keep your skin clear and supple. Water also can reduce problems associated with cramping and constipation. And, nobody wants to be remembered as the cramping, bloated, wrinkled old woman who didn’t drink enough water.

Tonight’s blog was fueled by a lovely glass or 2005 Ferrari-Carano Cabernet Sauvignon from Alexander Valley. It’s about $33 dollars a bottle, but I was in a festive mood after my fun book premiere. The wine is elegant and rich with flavors of black currant and cherry. I sipped and savored the taste and the memory.

One of my most favorite, hug-myself-silly memories of my life happened Friday, 8-8-08. Over 100 family members and friends attended the national premiere party for Menopause Sucks. We enjoyed live music, tasty appetizers, and irreverent excerpts from my book. The event provided a marvelous moment to express some heartfelt gratitude and sassy attitude.The “Kiss My Attitude” menu included Whine and Cheese Plate, Crabby Cakes with No-Sweat Sauce, Crazy Lady Fruit Plate, PMS Pita with Hot Flash Humus, Wild Woman Won Tons with Sassy Sauce, Empty Nest Salad with Vixen Veggies, and Memory Loss Mousse. Delightful drinks were Friends Forever Frozen Wine, Wrinkle-free White Wine, and Road Rage Red Wine.My daughter, son, and son-in-law helped with crowd control and money gathering (both important activities.) And, my fabulous granddaughter charmed and entertained everyone. As I read from the book, my brave 27-year-old son attempted to hide under a table, especially when I shared some snippets about vaginal dryness, midlife sex, and hairy toes. Perhaps therapy is in order.