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Wouldn’t it be great if you asked your doctor how to deal with menopausal symptoms and she told you to eat plenty of chocolate and blueberry scones, and then wash it all down with copious amounts of red wine? unfortunately, menopause may bring a gaggle of gruesome maladies, including hot flashes, dull skin, memory loss, and flatulence, but chocolate, flakey baked good, and dry wine won’t do anything to ease the pain (at least in the long run). Fortunately, there are some foods that will help combat the effects of menopause: Increase your soy intake. Recent studies indicate that middle-aged women who consumed at least three soy products a day reported positive benefits for their hearts and bones. soy protein also can improve skin, hair, and nails. Once considered a tasteless waste of chewing, today’s soy products include flavorful foods, such as soy cereal and roasted soy nuts. soy products also can reduce hot flash frequency. Fish fat makes you fabulous. Studies show that middle-aged people who consumed omega-3 fats on a regular basis scored higher on memory tests. These fats can be found in flaxseed, salmon, sardines, tuna, and in fish oil supplements. Drink green tea. Rich in antioxidants, green tea is good for strong bones and a healthy heart. studies show that several cups of green tea every day can decrease the risk of stroke by 69 percent. you’ll also get your exercise by running to the bathroom all day. Cool it on the hot sauce. If you live anywhere south of the north Pole, you’ll probably suffer from hot flashes and night sweats. To help alleviate the problem, eliminate spicy foods and caffeine from your diet. eat more fresh vegetables and fruit, and don’t go to bed on a full stomach. Hydrate your health. Drink six to eight glasses of water every day to help keep your skin clear and supple. Water also can reduce problems associated with cramping and constipation. and, nobody wants to be remembered as the cramping, bloated, wrinkled old woman who didn’t drink enough water. If you are what you eat, then i’m a deep-fried Twinkie. But, in a defiant effort to live long enough to irritate my great-grandchildren, i’ve decided to improve my diet, increase my exercise, and make it through menopause without hurting someone. it’s a lofty goal.

Tonight’s blog was fueled by a glass – or two – of 2005 Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon from Santa Rosa, CA. It’s only $18 a bottle and a wine I’ve enjoyed for several years. Actually, it was comfort food after my recent move. Who needs warm soup when you can sip on an old favorite?

This week I visited Mom at her care facility, and we enjoyed a bland, soft-food lunch in the pleasant dining room. During the meal she dumped her water glass into the vase of plastic flowers on the table, explaining that the blossoms lasted longer that way. I nodded in agreement.

I’ve finally learned to accept such actions. Over the past few years, it’s been a struggle for me to acknowledge her mental deterioration. There has been a cadre of physical therapists to keep her active, various puzzles and workbooks to challenge her brain, and regular family activities with the grandchildren and their children. Despite our best efforts, she is slipping away.

I reached acceptance one day as I was trying to teach her how to use the television remote control. Finally she burst into tears.

“I can’t do it!” she cried.

Not even her love of the Lawrence Welk Show could motivate her to remember how to push the power button and then the correct channel button. So I stopped trying, and we’re both happier. The patient, loving staff now assist her on Saturday nights at 7:00 pm to turn on the television. She still wonders why Mr. Welk never seems to age.

Her small but tidy room is covered with family photographs, but now the pictures have name tags because she can’t always remember who they are. I often find her staring out the window, lost in some memory. She’ll look at me with confusion until she recalls I’m her daughter. I know there will come a time when I’m just another nice person who comes to visit.

My unspoken fear is that I may duplicate the scene with my children, and that thought brings me to tears. For now, I’ll make the journey to Wendell, back to the hometown, to make small talk with my mother. And, we will continue to water the artificial flowers.

Today’s blog is fueled by a 2010 Joseph Laurence Charbono from the Frediani Vineyard in Napa Valley. The Charbono grape originated in France and produces a dark, intense wine with a distinct character. Find details at www.thomasmichaelcellars.com.

I’m insane. Yup. Probably should be swaddled in a padded crate and sent to some island where I can sit under a palm tree and make baskets. Except, that would require focusing.Two weeks ago I moved into a darling house that is about 50% smaller than the one I left. And, it was a week before my daughter’s wedding. Hindsight tells me that was not the best planning on my part.However, I’m in the new place, I have four storage units, the wedding was fabulous, and I’ve stopped twitching so much. Here are some highlights of the past two weeks:I have no dishes, except for wine glasses. I do know my priorities. The rest of my kitchen stuff is in 100 boxes somewhere.Two days before the wedding, I ran into a hair salon in a strip mall and declared, “I need a cut and color and I need it NOW!” The result was amazingly positive. And, at half the price I usually pay.I discovered that I can live with one box of toiletries and cosmetics. So what do I do with the trunks of stuff I have stored?The worst part of the entire ordeal was going a week without Internet. Finally my son told me to take my lap top to a coffee house. Duh! I caught up on 900 emails while I gulped my favorite hazelnut latte.The best part: Watching my 81-year-old mother lovingly accept the wedding of her only granddaughter – even though they have been together five years and have a darling 17-month-old daughter. The times, they are a changing!

Today’s blog was fueled by a glass of 2006 Tamarack Cellars Firehouse Red from Columbia Valley in Washington State. This wine is only $21 dollars a bottle but received a 90 point rating from Wine Spectator Magazine. It’s a delicious, full-bodied blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Sangiovese, Carmenere and Malbec. This is perfect sipping wine to enjoy on the patio on a gorgeous end-of-summer evening.