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Escape to the Idaho mountains next year for your choice of retreats for women. Four different themes focus on inner strength, writing and wellness, intensive writing programs, and hypnotic recall writing. Enjoy all activities, workshops, meals, and accommodations in two deluxe cabins next to a scenic river only an hour’s drive north of Boise.

1. Desire Map Retreat is January 22-24. This course is a guide for discovering your core desired feelings and lighting up your life and is organized and facilitated by Emily Nielsen, owner of Balance Family Fitness, wellness coach, and Desire Map Retreat Facilitator. The cost is $495 and includes lodging, all whole food meals and snacks, Desire Map Workbook, and all activities and excursions.

2. Writing and Wellness Retreat for Women is February 5-8. The retreat is organized and facilitated by Elaine Ambrose, published author, syndicated blogger, and publisher, and Emily Nielsen, owner of Balance Family Fitness and wellness coach. The cost is between $260 and $370, depending upon room selection, and includes lodging, all meals, writing workshops, yoga, meditation exercises, and healthy cuisine.

3. Creative Kindling Retreat for Women is April 29-May 1. The retreat is organized and facilitated by professional authors AK Turner, Christy Hovey, and Elaine Ambrose. This intensive weekend is limited to those who are serious about taking their manuscript to the next level. Spend three days in scenic Garden Valley in deluxe cabins, enjoying fantastic food and wine. This weekend will be fun, but also productive. Each attendee will develop a complete book outline, writing schedule, and choose between blog development or assistance with social media profiles. This retreat accommodates a maximum of 6 attendees. Private rooms are available for $500. The Girlfriend Getaway Suite (two twin beds) is available for $420 per person. Pricing includes meals and airport transportation. To apply, please send a brief paragraph about yourself and your proposed project to: info@creativekindlingretreat.com.

4. The Hypnotic Recall Writing Workshop will be May 20-23 and additional details are to be announced. Award-winning author, syndicated columnist, workshop presenter, and TV show host Suzette Martinez Stranding brings her nationally recognized expertise to lead a limited group of women into a hypnotic recall session to enhance and inspire their writing.

These workshops sell out early, so consider which one is right for you. Or, consider joining us for more than one! Additional retreats will be announced for the autumn months. We promise positive results and renewed energy.

(Featured on The Huffington Post Comedy page, 11/11/2015)

After a hectic day of raising kids, working full-time, and trying to slap together three edible ingredients to make a family meal, I decided to ride away on a motorcycle. I depleted my saving account and bought a Harley-Davidson Custom Sportster, complete with extra chrome accessories, custom red paint, and fringed, leather saddle bags. I traded my heels for leather boots and felt the need for speed.

I completed a motorcycle safety course, the only middle-aged woman in a class full of slouching punks, goofy teenage boys, and old hippies. No one flirted with me or even muttered, “Hey, Babe. Let’s take a walk on the wild side.” I must have resembled their grandmother.

My first experiences riding my new motorcycle were exhilarating. I covered my head with a brain bucket, put the hammer down, and carved some serious curves while straddled upon 1200 ccs of unleashed power. I channeled my inner Steppenwolf to head out on the highway, looking for adventure, in whatever came my way. This liberated momma was bad to the bone.

“Ha!” I exclaimed after a month of riding into the wind. “I am an American legend!”

No one cared.

I made the obligatory trip to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota. I felt sorry to see so many young women who were too poor to buy clothes. They ambled around wearing itty bitty leather thongs and fishnet tank tops. The poor things could barely walk upright due to the massive bouncing bosoms exploding from their tight leather vests. There was no way those bares butts ever sat more than five minutes on the back of a Harley.

“Do you want a sandwich?” I asked a group of thin young waifs loitering in front of a saloon. “How about we go get some milkshakes? I’ll buy.”

They stared at me with glazed eyes and walked away. I ate alone, grateful that I could purchase food.

My wild and crazy motorcycle days ended when I almost t-boned a mini-van full of children. I was cruising down a country road feeling free and festive when a frazzled lady on a side road pulled out in front of me. All I could see were those sweet cherubs staring from the window, waiting for me to crash into their little bodies and leave my severed head beside the road. I stomped on my foot brake, grabbed the hand brake, and swerved to the right. The bike stopped, but I didn’t. I careened into the dirt, suddenly appreciating my heavy leather clothing. The lady never noticed and drove on down the road. I hollered some uncharitable language and regrettably took the name of the Lord in vain while gesturing wildly like a possessed demon. These actions were not attractive.

The bike weighed more than 500 pounds, and I couldn’t lift it. A group of motorcycle riders came along and stopped to help. They settled the bike upright, checked for damage, and offered to take me home. I gallantly refused any assistance and sent them on their way. I was pleased to see that the women in the group wore clothes.

I returned home and parked the bike. A few months later, I sold it to a man who always wanted a Harley. I wished him well and watched as he revved the engine.

“Watch out for mini-vans,” I yelled. “They’re out to kill you!”

He waved back and I listened until the guttural noise from the V-twin engine faded in the distance. Returning to the house, I contently counted my cash and my blessings.