Two years of breastfeeding and five decades of gravity have sent my boobs swinging like tube socks onto my lap.
blog
Midlife Cabernet: It’s Okay to Run Away
Are you stressed and tired? Are you being unjustly criticized and mentally assaulted by obnoxious people (including relatives, co-workers, and strangers who flip you off in traffic)? Do you feel like crap because your exercise bike is a clothes hanger and you just finished a one-pound bag of M&Ms? (I see you nodding in agreement.) Well, there is only one solution to end this misery. Run away.
You can plan your escape on a whim or take several months to organize the scheme. These are a few of my favorites, and the first requirement is that you turn off your cell phone. Yes, you must.
- The Spontaneous, Easy, and Cheap Fling. If you only have an hour, bring your lunch to work and leave at noon. If you have a car, play some rhythm and blues and drive to a park. If you don’t have transportation, listen to music on your Ipod and walk slowly to the nearest quiet space. Just sit there, munch on your food (include at least one cookie), and then close your eyes. Do nothing but meditate as you listen to the music. Then return to work refreshed and rejuvenated.
- The Delightful Day Break. Take a vacation day just for yourself and mark it on the calendar a month in advance. Hike in the hills, read a book, write a short story, plant some flowers, or if your budget allows, spend a few hours at the local spa. By the end of the blissful day, expect some immediate crisis involving at least one of your children, your elderly parent, or your plumbing. But, you’ll be pleasant, positive, and ready for any emergency. No Prozac required.
- The Total Indulgent Escape. This week I ran away to New York City. I’m a volunteer member of a board that was meeting but I wasn’t planning to attend. Then there was a death in the family, I moved my invalid mother to a different assisted living facility, a relative called and yelled at me, I got the Head Cold from Hell, there were problems with a book I was publishing, and I gained five pounds. So, I did the only thing that made sense: I bought a discounted flight and left for the city.
A farmer’s daughter from Idaho going to New York City is similar to Dorothy seeing the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz. Humming “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” I hit the Big Apple running as if being chased by flying monkeys. In three days, I attended the meeting, laughed until I snorted at a hilarious Broadway musical, toured the Steinway piano factory, meandered through the Metropolitan Museum of Art, took a solemn trip to Ground Zero, watched a performance at the Lincoln Center, and ate and drank fabulous food and wine.
On the last evening, two friends and I found Nizza Bar a Vin Italienne, a delightful Italian wine bar, and sat outside consuming fresh gnocchi, shrimp salad, and crusty bread. Of course, we consumed a bottle of Barbera wine presented by a perky waitress who was determined to become a Broadway star. We watched as police closed the street and a crew prepared a movie scene for actor Liam Neeson. My runaway excursion had been the perfect remedy.
Studley, my heroic and understanding husband, was waiting at the airport, and we hugged and kissed like long-lost lovers. Then he asked if I wanted to go find a place for dinner. I shook my head and said, “There’s no place like home.”
Today’s blog was fueled by a healing bottle of 2005 Barbera D’Alba wine from Italy. You can consume it while watching a famous actor in New York City or enjoy the wine on your patio. Either option has its rewards.
Today’s Cabernet
Today’s blog was defiantly supported by a glass of 2005 Schug Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma Valley. This wine is consistently good, and at about $25 a bottle, it’s great to have on hand for guests. If you don’t have any guests, open it anyway.
Fri, 04/04/2008 – 10:38
http://www.thirdage.com/ usually has interesting, educational, and motivational articles for middle-aged people. However, today’s message contained the following news:”Study: Wine is Worse for the Brain Than BeerDrinking too much wine damages the brain more than beer or spirits, scientists have discovered. New research on the long-term effects of heavy drinking shows that one area of the brains of wine drinkers was smaller than that of other people studied who drank different drinks in greater amounts.The ground-breaking study shows that the hippocampus, the part of the brain involved in memory, spatial tasks and many other functions, was more than 10 percent smaller in those whose favorite drink was wine than in those who favored beer.”As a result of this information, I have only one decision to make: Stop reading articles like this. – See more at: http://www.test.elaineambrose.com/blog/fri-04042008-1038#sthash.ElCwvELq.dpuf
Today’s Cabernet
Today’s political rant was fueled by a marvelous glass of 2004 Merryvale Clone Six Cabernet Sauvignon from Beckstoffer Vineyards in Napa Valley. This wine is so fabulous, smooth, luxurious (and expensive at $95 a bottle) that I’d vote for Larry the Cable Guy if he offered me a glass.
Voter Vexations and Political Pageantry
(The following text is taken from an article I wrote that appeared recently in several publications.)Are you suffering from blowhard burnout? Do you start to twitch every time a political advertisement appears on the television? Can you even imagine how the current political pageantry has the Founding Fathers and Mothers spinning in their graves, which by the way, probably has contributed significantly to internal global warming?I surrender. Just show me a ballot now and let me vote. Then I can get back to work and make money so I can pay taxes to pay for all this political puffery. Ultimately, all I want is to relax and watch television and not be assaulted by serious voices who tell me that my vote for him or her is the only path to true salvation. Cue the music, show the waving flag, fade to black.It’s easy to be critical because we have the freedom to complain, protest, and demonstrate without the risk of being run over by a tank. And for every cynic there is an optimistic patriot who passionately believes in our system of democracy. They are the flag-waving heart and soul of our great country. They attend parades, stand up for the National Anthem and hold their babies up to be kissed by compassionate contenders who promise them a free-range chicken in every pot, even though the pot is made in China.Many of the most fervent defenders of our government are those who came from oppressed countries. They were drawn by the promise of hope inscribed on the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Many new citizens who regularly vote have been denied the right and pleasure of selecting their leaders. They know the United States provides a chance for choice, and even with the flawed and fickle government system, it’s still the best in the world.After a moment of serious thought, maybe it’s time to do something about the electoral system and try and make it better. We the People must demand the necessary changes. Shorten the campaign season. Put stricter laws on campaign contributions. Demand term limits. Require that the people vote on politician’s salary increases and retirement programs. Mandate that politicians show up for work and actually work. Consider merit pay, accountability and performance evaluations. Make them live on a budget and pay taxes. In other words, require our elected officials to live like we do.We need a revolution fueled by voter revenge. Perhaps it’s time to elect a leader for this important movement. Is anyone ready to campaign?
