Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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The Lights of My Life

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Chandelier in McCall house

I bought my first chandelier in 1997 while building a house on the east shore of Payette Lake in McCall, Idaho. I was divorced and had sold my interest in the family business. I wanted a new start so invested the proceeds to create a dream home in McCall.

Joan at the construction site in 1997

For the interior design, I consulted my friend and designer Joan Whitacre. She found a brilliant and massive chandelier for the entryway but when it arrived from Boston, the construction workers on site laughed at her. They told her it was too big to fit inside the door. She sent them to lunch and proceeded to manipulate the enormous chandelier one prong at a time to maneuver the entire fixture through the doorframe. The chandelier was perfect.

I sold the house ten years later, a greedy action I still regret, and was dismayed to learn the new owners replaced the chandelier with lights hidden inside a jumble of antlers. The new owners also removed the custom 1950 kitchen downstairs, but their payment cleared so I tried not to care. My personal drama included another marriage and divorce, so I started over again.

Over the following 16 years, I moved to eight different houses, always searching for the best light in the perfect home. I built a cabin in Garden Valley in 2008 and ordered lights from a local lighting company and a few online options. I added wall sconces to add indirect lights for a dozen writing retreats I organized at the cabin under the name “Write by the River.” I intended to retire there, but I sold it in 2021. Again, that’s another regret. The cabin recently sold again for a substantial profit for the owners.

Pulitzer Prize Winner Anthony Doerr speaks at the “Write by the River” writing retreat in Garden Valley
Chandelier and copper ceiling in Eagle home

When I moved to a third new house Eagle in 2009, I contacted Joan Whitacre for help with design and furnishings. Again, she found the perfect chandelier and recommended a ceiling covered in copper. The results were stunning and dramatic. I found a cute guy from Texas and invited him to share the home. The chandelier continued to shine over family holiday gatherings, book signing events, writing workshops, and birthday celebrations.

Moving the chandelier from Eagle to Meridian

 

We moved again in 2018 and brought the chandelier to the new home in SpurWing for my piano room. An earthquake in 2020 caused it to sway, and I captured a video on my cell phone. The video, posted below, received more than 18,000 views on Twitter.

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Piano room at SpurWing

I had to leave the chandelier behind when the house sold in 2020. After living for 16 months in a rental house without a chandelier, we moved again to a custom house back in Eagle. Joan had retired and was traveling the world with her husband, so I searched for new lights.

I found the perfect chandeliers in the Hyde and Seek Shop in Boise and purchased five in two sizes. I hung hundreds of crystal pieces on the chandeliers, and now they sparkle in the entryway, the powder room, the piano room, my office, and the main bathroom.

I also prefer eclectic lamps, including a “Storyteller Lamp” from Villa Decor in Eagle and a natural-leaf “jelly fish” lamp from North End Organic Nursery in Garden City, Idaho. I painted the shade to match the walls in my office.

“Storyteller Lamp”
Leaf “Jelly Fish Lamp”
Chandelier and tile wall in power room in Eagle
Chandelier in my office

The lights of my life have illuminated grand, poignant, and painful moments inside a wide variety of homes. I’m finally where I should be, and I don’t intend to move again or purchase another chandelier. I know the darkness can’t last long when rooms and attitudes are bathed in brilliant lights in a safe place that says, “Welcome Home.”

 

For Peace and Clarity, Go Hang a Banana

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(Featured on The Huffington Post Fifty on August 18, 2015.)

peace

The world is smoldering toward catastrophic self-destruction, so it’s only sensible that I take a brief moment of clarity to offer this lovely tidbit of advice before the final tragic calamity ignites the end of civilization.

If you want to appreciate form and function, escape chaos and crisis, and experience inner peace, you should hang a banana.

I’ve survived more than half a century on this magnificent planet and only yesterday purchased a banana holder. This is not just any ordinary device; it’s a 3-piece banana hook with fruit basket! And, it came with illustrated instructions! Heaven forbid a confused consumer would tote it home and not know how to assemble the complicated design.

“Help me, Walter. Does the bowl go over or under the hook?”

“Lemme study the picture on the box, Marge. I hope this contraption came with directions.”

The 3-piece banana hook wasn’t on my Costco list, but who could resist? I wanted it.

On my way to the back of the store to get my quarterly supply of 50 rolls of toilet paper, I noticed the box on the end of the aisle. The photo displayed ripe, firm bananas perfectly poised over a bowl of tempting green apples supported and enhanced with a gleaming silver hook and coordinated basket. I spontaneously added it to the cart, along with the tub of chocolate-covered almonds (also not on the list.)

I balanced my new treasures with the massive supply of toilet paper, a calf-sized pack of paper towels, and a year’s supply of detergent while I maneuvered my way through the aisles, stopping periodically to sample the bland but free samples of food. I avoided the book section because I have been known to spend hours reading through selections while family-reunion-size boxes of frozen appetizers melt in the aisle.

After paying the zombie checkout guy, I toured the vast parking lot looking for my car. I finally resorted to clicking my key alarm and eventually found it. I scurried home to assemble my new banana holder and proudly placed it on the kitchen counter. I carefully hung my bananas at the angle shown in the photograph. They seemed to be happy and perky in their appropriate position. Today, I’ll visit the local farmer’s market and buy some green apples.

For a brief but delightful moment in time, I won’t watch or read the news, and I won’t worry about all the crap happening throughout the world.

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Instead, I’ll make a cup of tea in the morning and open a bottle of wine in the afternoon and stare at my banana holder. That’s about all I can control right now. And if other stressed people come to my door, I’ll welcome them inside and we will gaze at the wonderful invention and smile at the balance, order, and symmetry of the simple design. Then, only after we feel at peace, we’ll eat the bananas, apples and chocolate almonds, open another bottle of wine, and sing songs of courage and glory. All will be well, thanks to my new banana hook. With a fruit basket.