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You are here: Home / Archives for insecurity

insecurity

Filling George Gobel’s Shoes

January 27, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

KBOI 4 2

One of the funniest lines every delivered on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson was in 1969 when four famous men were on the set: Carson, Bob Hope, Dean Martin, and comedian George Gobel. After looking at the three handsome, distinguished men, Gobel said, “Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?”

The audience exploded with laughter, and the scene was included in several anniversary programs. I remember the show, and I miss Johnny Carson.

This week I experienced Gobel’s insecure feelings as a guest on a local television show in Boise, Idaho to discuss the world of blogging. The two lovely co-hosts were gorgeous with exquisite makeup, professionally styled hair, and tailored outfits. The other guest blogger was a young mother who could double for a beautiful fashion model and famous actress. Her name, appropriately, is Brooke. With an E.

I was the fourth one on the set, the Seasoned Older One to balance Young Wonder Woman. In a world of princess gowns, I was a pair of brown flip-flops.

The interview proceeded with a lively exchange between all four of us. Brooke was charming, humorous, and engaging as she detailed the joys and frustrations of beginning a website and blog. Suddenly, she wasn’t so intimidating, and I stopped hating her hair.

Then the host graciously turned to me and mentioned my two national blogging awards. I jumped on the opportunity like a famished lion and explained with great gusto and demonstrative hand gestures how to become a syndicated blogger on sites such as The Huffington Post. The interview ended with a camera shot of three of my books I had strategically placed on the desk. The shine may be off the external chrome, but the engine in the brain still works.

After the television show was taped, we all enjoyed a festive conversation. Brooke was genuinely friendly and asked me for advice on social media, blog content, and how to publish books. I asked her how she managed to start an online business with three small children at home. Due to our pleasant and supportive talk, my George Gobel shoes didn’t seem so ordinary.

I don’t know why older woman are intimidated by younger, polished females. I wouldn’t want to return to my thirties and go through the stress of working in a demanding career, raising children, saving and losing relationships, and maintaining a house full of evolving clutter. Women have much to learn about and from each other, at any age. Instead of being jealous over youthful appearance and vitality, we should celebrate each other more and not be threatened by misconceptions and insecurity. There’s an outside chance the pre-old crowd could think the middle-age group is gloriously free and self-confident. That image is our best reward for dancing around the calendar for so many decades.

It turns out that the beautiful, talented blogger and I have a lot in common. I’m old enough to have a granddaughter named Brooke. With an E.

 

Published on The Huffington Post January 14, 2016

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, competition, Dean Martin, George Gobel, insecurity

When Living Large isn’t a Compliment

August 26, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

chubby lady belly

 

(Featuring on The Huffington Post, August 27, 2015)

It started as a fun golf game with another couple we enjoy. It ended with me wanting to stab myself with a knife. Life is like that sometimes.

We finished our round with a good score and returned to the club house for dinner. As we waited for the food, the man casually mentioned that his wife and my husband were lucky because they didn’t need to lose weight. I know it was an innocent remark by a good, middle-aged man but my ears heard this:

“You are a gross, undisciplined whale and so incredibly fat that you should put a sack over your body and hide in the women’s lounge. Too bad you don’t look like my beautiful, fit wife.”

My first reaction was to pick up my butter knife and slash my gums because 30 years ago I lost 12 pounds in one week after my wisdom teeth were removed. I thought that maybe I could duplicate that instant weight loss if I hurt myself. Obviously, this was a red flag warning that I should immediately leave the club and seek a counselor.

Truth: You never need to tell a woman that she has gained weight. She knows it. She avoids mirrors, hates photographs of herself, and loses the urge to shop for clothes. She doesn’t want to be reminded that her hips, belly, and back are padded with enough layers of protective fat to shelter a family of ten through the winter. She wants to be appreciated for her charm, wit, altruism, and talent. Tell her she’s fat and she’ll write about you.

I languish in good excuses. I was injured almost a year ago, ironically doing a high-impact exercise. My leg bone cracked and the meniscus tore on my knee. The pain was debilitating.  As a result, my exercise routine vanished as the extra pounds appeared. The only physical activity I got was when I ambled to the wine rack for medication. But, I still want and need to lose the weight I gained after the injury. I really do, but it’s not as easy any more, and my body seems to like living large.

The day after the golf humiliation, I wiggled into my workout clothes and plodded to the gym. I started with the exercise bike, plugged my earphones into the TV outlet, and found the news. Donald Trump was criticizing Megyn Kelly, an attractive newscaster I admire. I left the gym and drove to a coffee shop that offered fresh maple bars, and I used the butter knife to smear around the gooey frosting. I licked the knife and promised to hit the gym another day.

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #golf, #injury, #middle age, friends, image, insecurity, weight

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