Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#Italian

Seeking Joy? Make Elaine’s Bolognese Lasagna

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Ingredients for a double batch of Elaine’s Bolognese Lasagna

Hungry? Frustrated? Don’t care about carbohydrates or diet rules? Eat my Bolognese Lasagna and celebrate life. Double this recipe to share with friends, and they will praise your name.

Caveat: You can use regular red sauce and have a boring lasagna. Or, you can save time and money by buying a frozen lasagna, but we can’t be friends.

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons imported olive oil

1 onion, diced

2 carrots, diced

2 celery stalks, diced

2 garlic cloves, minced

1# lean ground beef (½ pound is okay)

1# Italian sausage – spicy or regular (½ pound is okay)

2 jars Bertolli marinara sauce (or homemade)

1 small can tomato paste

1 small can diced tomatoes

1 can crush Italian tomatoes

½ cup heavy cream

4 cups fresh mozzarella, sliced

2 cups ricotta cheese

2 cups shredded Parmesan cheese

1 box Barilla lasagna pasta

Italian spices

Italian red wine

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Brown 2 meats. In separate pan, sauté finely chopped carrots, onion, garlic, and celery in butter and olive oil. In another pot, boil water and make lasagna pasta and lay pasta on paper towels or baking sheet.

Open wine and sip a glass.

Drain meat. Add the other sautéed ingredients and add the tomato items. Add spices. Combine well and heat 15 minutes. Turn off stove and add cream. Mix well.

Sip another glass of wine and smell the delightful aroma of the Bolognese.

Lightly cover the bottom of a 9” x 13” pan with olive oil. Add sauce to cover. Make three layers:

Pasta – sauce – ricotta and mozzarella – 3X

Finish top layer with Mozella and grated Parmesan

Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Remove cover and bake another 10 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow dish to cool for at least 15 minutes.

Serve with green salad and wine. It’s better the next day, but who can wait that long?

Sharing this Bolognese Lasagna is a genuine act of love.

 

 

 

 

Midlife Cabernet: Saying “Happy Birthday” to an Ex-Father

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Scan_20140703 (2)For ten years, I enjoyed membership in a large Italian family, and they excelled in festive reunions, dramatic gestures, abundant food and drink, and naming several people Michael. After I canceled my membership by divorcing one of the Michaels, I was no longer included in the festivities. That’s another disadvantage of divorce. I really enjoyed those parties.

But, because we’re celebrating our national freedoms and because I still admire many of my former relatives, I’d like to wish a happy 90th birthday to my ex-father-in-law. He’s one of the Greatest Generation, a retired military colonel with a distinguished career, and a sassy, stubborn man who loves the dolce vita. And, he loves his six children, their spouses, and all their children and their children. And, all the aunts, uncles, and cousins. We could still be good friends, if it weren’t for that unpleasant divorce issue.

The entire extended family is gathering this weekend to celebrate his birthday. After making a comment on Facebook about wanting to be there, I received a curt message telling me to stop harassing the family, go away, and stay away. My first reaction was, “Wow. This message contains three spelling mistakes and five punctuation errors in only 66 words.”

But I don’t want to attack the writer because I admire her defense of the family and I sincerely want to apologize for offending her. However, I think she should know that at my age, there’s not a chance in hell I will change. And, I’ll probably correspond with those she told me to leave alone. In responding to caustic messages, there is a fine balance between “Bless You” and “Bite Me.”

I’m grateful that I keep in contact with my ex-sister-in-law and her charming children. Removing the in-law label still makes her a sister. Our friendship extends beyond marriage licenses. I’m not advocating divorce, especially in a loyal Italian family, but I offer an olive branch of peace to those who resent me. Preferably that branch produced extra-virgin, first cold-pressed olive oil in Italy.

There are many fond memories of my former family. I miss seeing how the nieces and nephews grew up, and I’d love to have some authentic green lasagna again. But I respect their decisions not to stay in contact with me. The last time I saw the entire group was when I sang “Ave Maria” at the funeral mass for my mother-in-law. The Italians know how to celebrate life, birth, death, and any occasion to bring the family together, open several bottles of wine, and sing, quarrel, and sing again.

I’ve joyfully remarried, and my husband continues to send birthday and Christmas greetings to his former mother-in-law because she was an important part of his life for 25 years. That’s fine because she’s a lovely woman, and she is the grandmother of his children. However, the family reunions are different now because my husband’s family contains many Southern Baptists and they don’t drink alcohol. They’re good people, and we have plenty of designated drivers.

Years ago I sat in a little restaurant in Rome, Italy with my ex-father-in-law (what a clumsy title), and we clinked glasses and shared good wine. I’ll toast him again in honor of his birthday, miles away but with earnest respect. Buon compleanno, Babbo.