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You are here: Home / Archives for #midlife birthdays

#midlife birthdays

Midlife Cabernet: Laugh More, Whine Less

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

I laugh like a donkey. There is nothing dignified or lovely about the way I guffaw. My face contorts like a scorched plastic beer cup in a campfire, my eyes water, my lips pull back from my teeth, my nose runs, and strange sounds erupt with every boisterous barnyard outburst. Still, it feels good and the experience is SO much better than stabbing someone with a fork.

Babies are born with the ability to laugh and they make their first tiny chuckles when they’re around four months old. Normal, mature adults reduce themselves to exaggerated clowns when trying to cause a baby to giggle. It’s grand fun for everyone, unless the adult is driving on the freeway or participating in an important conference call. Way too soon the darling cherubs grow into teenagers and the delightful expressions are replaced with bored aloofness, rolled eyes, and exasperated retorts. And, the teens are just as bad.

As a professional people-watcher, I’ve noticed that there is a huge laughter deficit depressing the country. The only hilarious sounds of glee come from kids (without electronics) on the playground or from drunks whose Happy Hour was extended to closing time. The nightly news only confirms my observations: people are distraught and need counseling because one of the main characters died on “The Good Wife” television show or mad enough to sue because they fell down on an icy sidewalk – during a blizzard.

Many of my middle-aged friends are weary of miserable people whining because they are offended, outraged, or inconvenienced. We’ve lived through enough decades to know that life isn’t fair but it’s still wonderful and, given the choice, we’d rather eat, drink, and be merry with a dedicated optimist than wallow in the muck with Sadsack Suzy and her sorry friend Woe-is-Me. We’re ever-ready to help someone through the bad times, but we’re convinced that someday we’ll share a belly laugh again. Pinky promise.

This week the family adults gathered to celebrate my daughter’s birthday. Of course, we met at a local wine bar to make merry, cause mayhem, and support the local economy. The evening quickly turned into a sophomoric party as we took photographs in various poses to show our true irreverent and uninhibited personalities. The resulting photos proved why no children were allowed and why the young parents were grateful that their babysitters could sit through multiple showings of the newly released DVD of Disney’s movie Frozen. We had a few hours of free time without the song “Let it Go” playing a nonstop loop through our brains.

As we looked at the cell phone photos of our spontaneous, immature actions, we broke onto convulsive howls of laughter followed by uncontrolled fits of giggles. Yes, we were silly. And, yes, we loved it. And I didn’t give a rip that once again I looked and sounded like a demented donkey. With the grand occasion of my daughter’s birthday, I can count more than three decades that my children have made me laugh. And that is reason enough to toss back the head and let it go…

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #Disney Movie Frozen, #humor, #midlife, #midlife birthdays, #optimist

Midlife Cabernet: When it’s Time to Divorce the Siblings

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

I’m officially announcing my intention to divorce my siblings and take applications for a new sister and/or brother. There is no monetary value to this arrangement but the reward will be in the celebration of a festive and positive relationship with me as a sister. Such a deal!

I made this decision last week after enjoying yet another birthday without hearing from either of my two brothers. No card. No phone call. Not even a pre-designed, automatic email. Time is wasting because I’ve had more birthdays that I’ll have again. It would be nice to pretend that there is a sibling who actually gives a damn. And I can promise clever birthday cards, jolly songs, and good wine in return.

Full disclosure: The younger brother called the day after my birthday and left a short voice mail. And I haven’t seen or heard from the scoundrel older brother in 15 years so I’m not really surprised at the continued neglect. I would like them to know, however, that I help take care of their invalid mother and she would love to hear from them sometime, too.

My brothers and I were raised to compete, work hard, and die without hugs or humor. I opted out of that failed formula and chose to be totally nuts about loving and laughing. Not wanting to repeat my own family dysfunction, I adamantly made it a priority to raise my children to truly love each other, and I’m profoundly grateful that they do. I’m sorry their uncles don’t know them. One of my brothers hasn’t even met my children’s children or my husband. What a profound loss for these hapless brothers.

So, beginning immediately, I am declaring my availability for sisterhood. Obviously, I’m not very good at it but I’m willing to learn. The only requirements are to exchange annual birthday cards and get together every once in awhile for laughs and libations. To proclaim the sibling designation, I’ll design a plaque with the appropriate golf-leaf certificate and exchange a good bottle of Cabernet.

Finally, to my twin sister who died before we were born: I still miss you. We could have enjoyed some crazy fun together. I’ll never forget what should have been your birthday.

Today’s blog was fueled by a 2011 McKenna Cabernet Sauvignon from Napa, California. We served it at my birthday party, and there was abundant laughter, dancing, and celebration with true friends.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #divorce, #family, #midlife birthdays, #sibling rivalry

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