As a syndicated blogger, I’m accustomed to receiving unsolicited remarks about my posts on various social media websites. Regular readers know I write humor targeted to middle-aged women, and they anticipate a certain level of sassy irreverence. It’s a role I enjoy, mainly because I can write from home while wearing pajamas and sipping wine.
The last few days, however, brought new extremes of praise and punishment for my writing skills. The copious compliments were tempered with caustic criticism, almost enough to crush my delicate soul.
Four of my essays were published last week on the Huffington Post. My only serious piece was about my ailing mother and titled “If My Mother Died Today.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elaine-ambrose/caring-for-elderly-parents_b_5979904.html
The post received almost 1,000 favorable likes on Facebook and many middle-aged caregivers wrote to thank me for giving a voice to their feelings.
In the essay, I wrote about playing Tennessee Ernie Ford’s spiritual music for my mother when she was in critical condition in the hospital. I ended the piece with Ford’s familiar saying, “Bless your pea pickin’ heart.” The next day I received a touching email from Ford’s daughter-in-law. She loved the blog and offered to send me some of Ford’s spiritual music. I requested “His Eye is on the Sparrow,” one of my favorites. She responded that she was sending a 40-song collection. I am honored and humbled.
The next day, Huffington Post featured my humorous post titled “Why Small Print Makes us See Red.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elaine-ambrose/small-print_b_5989416.html
The message was an exasperated, satirical plea for manufacturers to increase the size of print on products so middle-aged women wouldn’t need to wear eyeglasses in the shower to decipher the shampoo from the conditioner. The responses came immediately. One person offered to send me a free pair of “Thinoptics” – a pair of reader glasses in a cell phone case. I accepted. Another offered me a deal on Lasik eye surgery. I declined.
The essay received more than 2,600 likes on Facebook, 344 shares and 160 comments. I’ve only been blogging on HuffPo for a month, so the response was exciting. But I was unprepared for the vitriolic assaults. Here are some of the published comments:
“This was supposed to be humorous? Well, keep on trying.”
“”Another female problem to kvetch about.”
“We already cater too much to Boomers.”
“This was humor?”
Additional comments deteriorated into attacks about misplaced priorities, gay rights, and trolls living in basements. I answered a few but then stopped because I didn’t want to get down to their level. I peeked back the next day and found more than 100 positive comments, so I felt better. Still, I wondered what possessed a man (yes, most of the mean comments were from men) to make nasty comments on a humor column targeted to middle-aged women. With all due respect, bless your pea pickin’ hearts but take your sorry asses and go troll somewhere else.
I never take any troll seriously. Their opinions mean nothing.
It was so much easier to write for magazines and not have to worry about trolls. Ignore them — at least they clicked on to your article 🙂
Don’t focus on the few cranky people who have nothing better to do – focus on all the favorable replies you’ve gotten…that’s what I say! 🙂
You are an amazing writer, and I for one LOVE reading your post! Keep on keeping on and forget the trolls.
I would call this a huge success! Great writers (like you) make people care. Honestly, every unsolicited comment means that you said something that made someone else care enough to take the time to comment so that is a win. Beyond that, you turned comments by idiots into another delightful piece of writing – what a nice bonus for those who love your writing!
I too, know what it is like to have to a squint to distinguish between the shampoo and the conditioner. Obviously those men don’t care or use just one!!!
That would crush my delicate soul. I’m so sensitive about my writing. Wish I weren’t. My stepdaughter was blogging on HuffPo a while back and had the exact same experience. Her’s might have even been worse since she wrote from the standpoint of a single 20-something looking for Mr. Right. Just keep focusing on the positive ones, like you’re doing. It’s hard not to be a little hurt by the negative ones, though.
Having just read through your last few posts, and your mother’s obituary (my condolences), I think you are on the right track. Don’t engage them, it only brings you down to their level. I find negativity to be distressing – when I don’t agree with an article, I typically don’t say much, and eventually just stop following anything the author says if they offend/disappoint me enough. I’ve never understood the idea of being so critical.
And at 44, I’m guessing I can finally call myself middle-aged, so I definitely get the humor and love it!
Hang in there, you have had a tough week, and it sounds like another tough week to come as you lay your sweet mother to rest.
I’m amazed at how cruel and mean-spirited people can be when they can hide on the Internet. I have been sworn at as a result of some of the comments I’ve left at YouTube and other places that request feedback. Fortunately, my blog is more instructional in nature, and it doesn’t attract negativity. But I would not think your blog would attract negativity either. This is my point: You are doing NOTHING to bring wrath upon youself or to attract negativity. There are people who enjoy making trouble for others. They are bored, lost, sad, and mostly angry. I hope you continue to observe all your LIKES and positive comments by people who really appreciate your gift to share your observations in a humorous way. These far out-weight the fools.
I’ve heard from other Bloggers/Vloggers that they (meaning trolls) actually try to say the worst thing someone could say to get others to reply and drive their nasty comments to the top… they get their jollies off on it. So the more people that reply the more attention they get from their comment.
Calling them trolls is so appropriate. There are people out there who troll through blogs and comment just to start battles. They can be so mean and spiteful that you just have to imagine how unhappy they must be themselves that they have to tear down others. I came across your blog just today and I feel like I’m late to the party. I’ve also read your post about your mother. We put my mother in a nursing home just this year and the sorrow and guilt of doing so is overwhelming at times. Thank you so much for not being afraid to talk about issues that others may find uncomfortable. We need a voice like yours whether it’s to commiserate together or laugh together. As a brand new blogger myself you give courage to write about anything I want. Not just what I think people want to read. Thank you.