Search Results for: voices of the year

Why November 9 Matters

November 2, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

mary-amy

Mary was a city council president, owns a small business, and prefers Cabernet. Amy worked for a corporation, owned a successful franchise business, and drinks Chardonnay. Mary is voting for Trump, and Amy is voting for Clinton. We are friends and will remain friends after the election on November 8.

When the dirty dust settles after this ugly political season, the biggest losers are those who destroyed friendships and fractured family relations over which candidate was the least horrible. The winners will be those who respected a process that is flawed but enduring, and those who can call their friends with opposite opinions and come together to celebrate that the national angst is over.

Mary, Amy, and I met recently for drinks and appetizers. We lamented the latest political crisis and then launched into a positive conversation about our children, our upcoming trips, and how the weather was impacting our seasonal allergies. Mary is anticipating a new grandchild in December, I just spent a week with my funny grandchildren, and Amy isn’t ready for grandkids but is perfecting her golf game. The most competitive fact about Mary and Amy is that their homes are immaculate and they take cleaning to a level beyond the sterile requirements for a nuclear laboratory. They know I have trouble stepping over piles of debris in my office and that my kitchen counters have growing mounds of clutter that include last year’s power bills. We love each other anyway.

We agreed that politics has turned social media into a cesspool of condemnation, criticism, and hostility. I recently posted a news article to Facebook that questioned the integrity and exposed the corruption of a candidate which prompted an assault of vile responses from both sides. Women were calling other women idiots, puppets, and uneducated morons. They were tagging names of women they didn’t know and chastising them for their ignorance. After the discussion dissolved into abortion and eternal damnation, I deleted the post and took a shower.

I knew that most of the women writing the scathing remarks would never talk that way if they had been together in person. I was confused about the total hostility directed at people they had never met and would never meet, and it was all for a candidate that only wanted their vote and nothing else. I have stated many times that neither candidate is worthy of my vote, so I can say and write anything I want. My position is liberating.

I’ll continue to participate in local and state elections so we can promote better candidates to lead our country. In my opinion, the lack of competent, ethical leadership has forced the country into class warfare, and we’re being duped to follow the Piped Piper with the sweetest music and the shiniest baubles. It will take strong effort by a committed population to crawl out of the current pig slop, but we can do it.

That’s where women such as Mary and Amy can play an important role. Find the common ground, work to promote the best community possible, and come together in person to share laughter and wine – even though some may prefer Cabernet and others want Chardonnay. Stop criticizing each other and find the truth that makes us humans on the same planet. We’re not getting out alive, so we might as well stop the bitching and start the bonding.

I want my grandchildren to appreciate and tolerate a variety of voices, and I want them to research the facts beyond the hype so they can intelligently form their own opinions. They can improve the future political process by communicating honestly about candidates and positions, and by studying the negative implications of electing the wrong person. It will be their turn to make it better. And, I want to show them that Mary, Amy, and I remain good friends.

That’s why November 9 matters.

“Next Act for Women” Featured my Story about Becoming a Humorist

July 5, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

http://nextactforwomen.com/

Becoming a humorist in midlife: Elaine’s Story – Hélène T. Stelian Coaching (helenetstelian.com)

JULY 5, 2016

Becoming a humorist in midlife: Elaine’s Story

Author, blogger, Humor, publisher, Publishing, speaker

Hélène

A surprising breakdown in midlife led Elaine to come to terms with the past and create a new future for herself. She became a prolific humor blogger, author, and speaker, and even went on to launch her own publishing company.

Tell us a little about your background…

I grew up on a potato farm outside the village of Wendell, Idaho (population 1,000). I was expected to work on farm chores, and I had a newspaper route at age 11. My father was a farming entrepreneur and he owned an interstate trucking company. My mother assisted with bookwork for the businesses.

I have two brothers. I didn’t have any sisters, so spent my free time in my room writing short stories and poems. My first national publication came when I was 12: The poem was titled “Endless River,” and it was published in the National High School Anthology of Poetry even though I was still in Junior High.

elaine jr. miss 1970

Junior Miss, 1970

My childhood at home wasn’t happy and I compensated by being the class clown in school. I’d like to apologize to my former teachers for my obnoxious behavior, but I learned it was great fun to create a laughing audience. I was eager to go away to college and graduated from the University of Idaho with Phi Beta Kappa scholastic honors and a degree in journalism.

I became Idaho’s first female television news reporter and talk show hostess at KMVT-TV in Twin Falls, Idaho. Subsequent jobs included a bank officer, a magazine editor, and a manager at a Fortune 500 corporation.

KMVT 73

At KMVT

I have two grown children and five grandchildren. After divorcing during midlife, I’m happily married to a great guy named Ken. I call him Studley. We live in Eagle, Idaho.

When did you start to think about making a change in midlife?

During my fifties, I experienced a personal crisis that prompted a dramatic shift in my life. I was divorced and it seemed as if all the world was populated by happy, loving couples. Also, my older brother had filed a lawsuit against me. I won after a painful court battle, and my brother had to pay all my legal expenses. But the ordeal took a heavy toll on my energy and fractured our family. On New Year’s Eve in 2007, I tried to make everything perfect by taking my grown children and their spouses on a short trip to Napa Valley for wine tasting and to celebrate the New Year. When everyone was kissing and reveling in the holiday atmosphere, I experienced an unanticipated breakdown so severe that it shocked everyone around me.

I stumbled back to my hotel room and commenced to sob like a wounded beast. I had never done that before, and I couldn’t control myself. First my daughter Emily came in and tried to help, and then my son Adam. I was angry at myself for ruining their party but I couldn’t stop crying. It was as if all the tears I had buried over the decades finally burst through my jolly disguise and dumped out of my eyes. The worst part was that I alarmed the two people I loved more than anything: my children.

For someone used to causing laughter, this painful lesson taught me that the class clown is often hiding some sad secrets. After returning home, I researched information on repressed memories and concentrated on how to focus on the future. I also learned it wasn’t my responsibility to make everyone happy all the time.

What is your next act?

I am a humor blogger, author, publisher, and speaker, with a focus on women in midlife.

After my New Year’s Eve breakdown, I started writing humor for midlife women. My first book, Menopause Sucks: What to Do When Hot Flashes and Hormones Make You and Everyone Else Miserable, was released soon after, co-authored with New York Times bestselling author Joanne Kimes. My blog featured excerpts from the book and included other sassy advice for middle-aged women.

I created a writer’s retreat in 2008 called “Write by the River” at my cabin in central Idaho. I featured guest speakers, including Pulitzer Prize Winner Anthony Doerr, Whiting Award Winner Alan Heathcock, and New York Times bestselling authors AK Turner and Jennifer Basye Sanders.

In 2010, I established a small publishing company called Mill Park Publishing to publish my subsequent books and other books written by women. I decided to give a portion of the proceeds from book sales to local charities. I published a dozen books. Mill Park Publishing also created a live comedy show called “Life Sucks, Laugh Hard,” featuring bestselling humor writers Jen Mann, Laurie Notaro, and Robin O’Bryant.

life sucks laugh hard poster

My book Midlife Cabernet: Life, Love & Laughter After Fifty was released in 2014. It won a Silver Medal for Humor from the Independent Publisher Book Awards, and Publishers Weekly reviewed it as “laugh-out-loud funny.” The book reached #1 in humor on Amazon.

My blogs were attracting a loyal audience, and I was published on additional websites including The Huffington Post, HumorOutcasts, BlogHer, Better after 50, Midlife Boulevard, Project Eve, and Annie Jennings Wire. One blog post became one of the 10 most-read posts in the history of The Huffington Post. Another essay was selected as aVoices of the Year winner from BlogHer. With my regular humorous articles for and about midlife women, I became an internationally recognized blogger.

Public speaking opportunities came for national events, including the prestigious Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, the BAM Bloggers at Midlife Conference, and the Type-A Parent Conference. I’ve also been a speaker at college commencement ceremonies, local writing workshops, and live comedy shows. I’ve met many wonderful new friends through the midlife blogging communities, and we all support and encourage each other.

How did you get started blogging and publishing?

My daughter was instrumental in introducing me to my new passion. She came with the loving advice: “It’s time to get off your butt, Mom, and write a blog.” I didn’t have a clue how to set up a blog, so she showed me how to obtain my domain name, create a website, and insert a blog. I was excited because with my journalism background, a blog is similar to writing a feature article for a newspaper or magazine. I was hooked. I prepared by reading online resources, reading other blogs, joining blogging groups on social media, and attending blogging conferences. Eventually, I was asked to speak at those conferences.

How did your first book, Menopause Sucks, come about?

I attended a writer’s conference in McCall, Idaho, and met my future agent Andrea Hurst. I had written a humorous book for women and Andrea Hurst submitted the book proposal to Adams Media. The publishing company was looking for a middle-aged humor writer to collaborate on a menopause book with Joanne Kimes. Kimes already established her brand with a book titled Pregnancy Sucks, but she hadn’t yet entered menopause. It was the perfect fit.

Why did you decide to start your own publishing company and how did you make that happen?

Publishing through the traditional route is difficult, complicated, and requires a lot of time. I wanted to establish my own publishing company to produce my books and have control over the process. I researched how to set up the company and found professionals who could help me with website design, book and cover design, and layout for both print and e-Book publications. I learned how to list books on various platforms, including Amazon.com, and I learned how to maintain a constant and recognizable image on social media.

clean office

My office, including my collection of old typewriters

What challenges have you encountered?

Learning new technology became the most difficult issue for me. I’m totally right brained, and it’s not easy to acquire new techniques. Remember, I grew up with manual typewriters before the Internet, cell phones, and social media. But bloggers usually write alone, so it’s up to them to learn what to do. It took me awhile, but I finally mastered the skills necessary to add links, photographs, and videos into my blog posts and establish accounts on social media. Any child could do that in five minutes, but it took me a long time to learn.

Another challenge was that I wasn’t prepared for the Internet trolls who take delight in writing nasty reviews. After some particularly bad comments on some of my Huffington Post essays, I considered curtailing my submissions to public websites. I also encountered some negative feedback on social media, and I’m trying to reduce time spent on various platforms.

Many authors who self-publish their own work are less respected than those who go through the traditional path of acquiring an agent and a national publishing house. I was proud that my publishing company, Mill Park Publishing, won 14 awards in three years. As for blogging, there is criticism for bloggers who “work for free” on various websites, including The Huffington Post. I consider my posts to be writing exercises that keep my brain active. Also, the publication of my popular and viral essays on The Huffington Post always results in a significant increase in sales of my books.

Also, for several years I was responsible for arranging my mother’s assisted living situations and facilitating her frequent stays in rehabilitation hospitals. She passed away in 2014, and I wish I could have done more for her. In addition, I seriously injured my leg and required surgery and a lengthy recuperation. The positive side of these two calamities was that they inspired me to write some of my best blog posts.

elaine 2013 (56)

How supportive were your family and friends?

My adult children were amazing. They encouraged me, even though my humorous essays often poked fun at our family. Most of my friends were supportive, but I did experience some friends who questioned why I was launching this new activity when I could just retire. I found many wonderful new friends across the nation through the blogging activities.

When I thought about giving up, I remembered how miserable I was without something creative to do. The visions and encouragement of my friends and family compelled me to keep writing and speaking. Through this process, I learned to accept help from others because I really wasn’t Wonder Woman after all. My new husband eagerly offered to fix meals so I could work on my manuscript. My talented author friend volunteered to edit my latest chapters. And others helped with website development and social media contacts.

cabo family

My family in Cabo San Lucas

What did you learn about yourself through this process?

I learned that I wasn’t too old to learn new techniques. I learned that I could ask for help and others would respond positively. I learned that people want to feel good about themselves and to laugh more, so my humor was appreciated by many people I will never meet.

Would I have done anything differently? Yes. I was vulnerable many times and lost money through bad investments because I trusted men who were scoundrels. Now I’m more cautious about being offered a deal that’s too good to be true. I need to keep better business records for tax purposes and monitor the charitable deductions.

Doerr Heathcock writer's retreat

My Writer’s Retreat, with Pulitzer Prize winner Anthony Doerr and Bestselling Novelist Alan Heathcock

What advice do you have for women seeking reinvention in midlife and pursuing a writing career?

So for women seeking advice, I say do it! There is no reward without risk. What if I had continued to wallow in self-pity back in 2008? I wouldn’t have my blog, my books, or my charming new husband. And I wouldn’t have experienced the joy of having my adult children and their spouses stand with me at my book signing events.

For women who want to write as part of their next act, I suggest researching online for the books, blogs, and websites that interest them. I read bestselling books from other humor writers, including

Jen Mann, author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges,

Jill Conner Browne, author of The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love,

AK Turner, author of This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store: Unapologetic Admissions from a Non-Contender for Mother of the Year (The Tales of Imperfection Series),

Laurie Notaro, author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life,

Leighann Lord, author of Real Women Do It Standing Up: Stories From the Career of a Very Funny Lady,

Gina Barreca, author of “If You Lean In, Will Men Just Look Down Your Blouse?”: Questions and Thoughts for Loud, Smart Women in Turbulent Times

ELAINE ADAM EMILY PARTY DEC 2015 crop (2)

Resources I recommend:

Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop

Midlife Boulevard, an online website for midlife women

Better after 50, an online magazine for midlife women

Female stand-up comedienne to follow, Leighann Lord

Farmers Insurance, company that provides my umbrella policy to cover my writer’s retreats

Create Space, company that distributes self-published books and e-Books

elaine 2013 (393)

What’s next for you?

All this happened after that emotional collapse on New Year’s Eve, 2008. My next book, Midlife Happy Hour will be released in October by Brown Books Publishing. This book describes stories about why and how middle-aged women should remain relevant and why it’s time to claim our reward after surviving careers, kids, and chaos.

Contact Elaine Ambrose at [email protected]

Check my website for details about books, blogs, and events.

Elaine Ambrose

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When Loneliness Isn’t Funny

February 13, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

I’ve never met Leslie Delamater Anderson Aitken, but we’re friends on social media. We’re both in our sixties, we like to write, and we’ve been stand-up comediennes. However, her life didn’t turn out as she planned, and now she writes about dealing with loneliness. Her latest blog is a reminder for us to reach out to those who didn’t receive flowers and gifts on Valentine’s Day. Leslie, I’m sending you a virtual hug.

FADING AWAY
by Leslie Delamater Anderson Aitken

I was 23 and married for a year when we moved to our first house in 1976 in southern California. Across the street, an aging widow lived alone in a tiny home only 650 square feet that she and her husband had built in the early 1930s. Her name was Avie, she was in her late 70s, and she had lived alone for more than 40 years.

She was short in stature, partly because of a severe curve in her spine, probably due to osteoporosis. She had been quite the gardener in her day. There was a big blue spruce in the front yard, a rarity for the area, and also a Cedar of Lebanon in the back yard, a persimmon tree and a black walnut tree, along with many very old rose varieties. She even had some lilies of the valley and a couple of rare Jack-in-the-Pulpits.

I would wave at Avie when I saw her outside wearing her big sun hat and watering her yard while balancing with her cane. I said hello a few times, but never really spoke to her other than the occasional greeting. One night her house was broken into by a couple of young thugs who knocked her to the ground, put a love seat on top of her, and stole a can of pennies. They fled out the back door, leaving it open.

A neighbor heard her very faint whimpers, and he told me later he thought it was a cat under her house. He found her and called for an ambulance. Avie never returned to the little house that she built and shared with her husband and where she planted her gardens. She went to a nursing home and passed away the following year.

Through the years, I’ve thought a lot about Avie, and I felt guilty because back then I was young and too busy to reach out to her. I should have stopped to talk with her as she worked in her yard and I never considered the many days and nights that she spent alone, never wondered if she was lonely, never asked if she needed any help with anything.

Now my children have grown up and moved away, and I am divorced. I have only left my house twice in the last two weeks, and in that time I have only talked, in person, to two people who know me. In that same two weeks that I have only eaten two meals in the company of other humans. Those were when I was so lonely for human companionship that I went to eat at a restaurant, not so much for food, but just to be around other people and to hear other voices than my own talking to myself or my pets.

Have I inadvertently picked up the long forgotten baton of solitude left behind by Avie Abbot? How did this happen to ME? And is this how we start to just fade away into the oblivion of someone that people used to know? I’m reminded of a verse in a familiar song: “I am…I said to no one there. And no one heard at all, not even the chair.”

Many well intentioned people have suggested that I volunteer for various organizations and community activities. For many years I traveled that route, “busying” my life with hours of volunteering my time to parent-teacher associations, school functions, and Girl Scout meetings. I increased my services after my children moved away and after my divorce as I tried to fill my hours with “doing things.” I was running as fast as I could from the reality that there was no one home when I got there, and that there was no one coming home “later” either.

There is something weird about all the years I donated my time and energy. There are dozens of groups that welcome the willingness of others who give hundreds of hours of their time and gladly soak them like a dry sponge. But if you stop giving, no one reaches out, or even seems to notice. It is like you were there, and thought you were making a difference, and then just fade away, unnoticed. In all of the years of volunteering, fund raising, parking cars, selling programs, organizing bake sales, delivering cookies, planning events, catering teachers luncheons, I can honestly say that I never made one real friend. Oh, I have lots of acquaintances and people who know my name. But at the end of the day, very few who know my phone number or would think to reach out.

I am only 62, but the thought of a long future filled with vast amounts of companion-less days and weeks feels like cruel purgatory. I will no longer engage in self-serving, busy endeavors to make me feel less lonely. I guess I have lost my motivation, but am not quite ready to fade away. Dear Avie, I should had stopped to talk with you.

Memories of Mom

November 1, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

My mother died 12 months ago today, so we’ve experienced a year of birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings without her. I knew the year anniversary was coming and naively anticipated that its passing would mysteriously make everything all better. I was wrong.

Just when I thought the emotional whirlwind was over, another memory of her smacked me in the heart and caused my eyes to spontaneously water. I’ve never been this emotional before, and I struggle between wanting to weep or pulling up my big girl pants and pretending to be tough. Sometimes it’s exhausting to be the strong one.

To prepare for inevitable meltdowns, here are some common occurrences that can cause an unpredictable sensitive reaction after a loved one dies.

The impulse to call. Mom was the consummate keeper of things: she wrote lists, filled ledgers, and clipped newspaper columns. Our refrigerator was plastered with Erma Bombeck’s witty stories. I recently was invited to be a speaker at the prestigious Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop in 2016. My immediate thought was to call my mom because she’d be so happy. Then I remembered.

A certain song. I was happily shopping for groceries when the song “Que Sera, Sera” by Doris Day played over the sound system. My mother used to sing the song when I was a wee toddler, and I remember the sounds of, “Whatever will be, will be.” I stood there in the soup aisle with tears streaming down my face.

Photographs. I’m still sorting her possessions, and found hundreds of photographs I’ve never seen. One fascinated me. It showed my parents as happy young lovers before they married and before hard work, illness, and heartache stole their laughter and weakened the light in their eyes. I wish I had known them.

Holiday memories. Mom was widowed at age 62, so she came to my house for 25 Christmas celebrations. When my children were young, we took her to a holiday movie on Christmas Day. We had to discontinue the tradition because she always talked out loud to the actors on the screen. “Don’t do that!” she would warn the characters. “Look at them dance!” she would exclaim. The kids would shrink down in their seats as other movie patrons glared at us.

Her example of strength and resiliency. She loved to tell stories of her childhood; how her sisters and she rode a horse to a one-room school, how she hand-milked cows before and after school, and how she worked in the fields throughout her childhood. My children tried not to complain after that, and they had a deep love and affection for the one they called Grandma Sweetie.

Favorite recipes. I continue to add mustard seeds in soups and any dish that requires boiling. Mom always added the seeds because of her belief in the Biblical parable of having the faith of a mustard seed. Through recipes, photographs, and stories, we keep her memory alive for the great-grandchildren.

Locations. I regularly drive past the assisted living facility where she lived before she died. I ache with remorse remembering how she clutched my hand each time I started to leave. I should have stayed longer.

Legacy. Mom didn’t have the money or opportunity to attend college, but she was a strong advocate for education. She established the Ambrose Family Scholarship at the University of Idaho, and this year six students from Wendell, Idaho received scholarships.

Emotional release through humor. A week after her death, I wrote a blog post titled “My Mother’s Body Got Lost.” The story described the true account of how the funeral home misplaced her for the weekend but then found her in a hearse traveling “near Bliss.” Bliss is a tiny town near her burial site. My response was, “Of course, she is!” The post was selected as a winning entry in the national BlogHer competition, and I was honored in New York as part of the “Voices of the Year” celebration. She continues to inspire my writing, and several of my blog posts about her were published on The Huffington Post.

Redemption. A few months ago, I was having a difficult time with the memory of how much my mother had suffered physically and emotionally. I sought professional help, and the gentle, wise counselor led me through a guided imagery exercise that restored my spirit. My mother came to me in a vision. She was young and happily playing with two little girls in a meadow. They were my sisters, my twin Arlene and another sister Carol. These babies never had the opportunity to breathe. The vivid scene of her radiant joy gives me peace.

The unexpected triggers continue to meander in and out of my life. After a year, the pain has eased, and I know she is in a better place. I hope someday to meet Arlene and Carol, and we’ll all play together in the meadow, scatter some mustard seeds, and sing, “Whatever will be, will be.”

Midlife Creates the Right Time to Write

September 28, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

Instead of moaning and groaning about empty nests, expanding waistlines, and lost libidos, midlife women should write something. Now is the time to release the passionate muse that has languished for years beneath responsibilities for raising children, establishing careers, maintaining homes, retaining happy marriages, and campaigning for political causes and charities. Middle-aged women have stories to tell, so they should convert the empty nest into a writing den, substitute the chocolate with a salad, and receive self-confidence from writing so they feel sexy enough to find that lost libido. This is a win-win situation.

Here are some suggestions to inspire the writing process.

1. Write what you know. I couldn’t write well about a vegetarian, Socialist, nuclear physicist who sleeps with his/her dog and listens to rap music. Can’t do it. But, I thoroughly enjoyed writing Menopause Sucks because I’ve been there and it does! And, I laughed every time I wrote a sentence such as, “Let me tell you why you sneeze, fart, and wet your pants at the same time.” And, my fingers literally flew over the keyboard as I wrote about hairy toes, night sweats, and recommended sex toys. Yes, write what you know!

As always, there is a caveat. If you’re writing historical fiction or a detailed novel, research the facts about a certain era and write a story that fits. You weren’t a member of the Clan of the Cave Bear and you didn’t run away with a peasant boy from the 17th century, but with enough investigation, you can always imagine the scenarios and write a compelling story. Just don’t name an ancient heroine Mandy.

2. Take advantage of, no… exploit, the serendipity of your life. Develop fascinating characters modeled after your belching piano teacher, or your uncle who refuses to discuss his war wounds but smashes beer cans against his forehead, or the passenger in the airplane seat next to you who laughs in her sleep, or your child who cries when the Disneyland Nightlight Parade stops. You are surrounded by juicy writing prompts. Keep a notebook handy to write quotes and facts to use later. Start with a private journal and progress to a public blog. That byline could become a lifeline to revitalizing stagnant energy.

3. Read your work out loud. You will discover sentences, paragraphs, and complete pages that no one will understand or ever read again. You’ll find that preposition lounging at the end of a sentence that screams: I’M A HORRIBLE WRITER! READ NO FURTHER! Also, make note to delete exclamation points and unnecessary capital letters.

4. Believe that all the words tumbling around in your brain MUST get out or you will explode! Yes, you hear voices, but it’s your characters demanding that you set them free. If you’re fiddling with non-fiction, then quick, spew forth those creative ideas on napkins, notebooks, old envelopes, typewriters (I still have some), and even a computer. Write. Write. Write. You’ve read plenty of crap that others have written, which is proof that your work will be OK.

5. Continue to read and learn. Emulate your favorite authors. Janet Evanovich makes me howl with laughter and want to read more. On the other hand, E.L. James causes me to wish I were a vegetarian, Socialist, nuclear physicist who sleeps with my dog and listens to rap music. Her bestselling novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, is a hotbed of horrible writing featuring such provocative lines as, “Desire pools dark and deadly in my groin.” If I have anything pooling in my groin, I better run to the bathroom. Personally, I prefer two shades of grey during my romps in the hay: lights dim and lights off.

Writers should be honest enough to admit they need editors, smart enough to know their cousin shouldn’t design the book cover, and strong enough to read rejection letters and negative reviews without getting depressed. They can continue to hone their craft by attending writing workshops, joining literary groups, registering for writing retreats, mingling with other authors, and finding a space to write. And, they should say out loud every day, “I am a writer.” Then they must go write.

(Featured on The Huffington Post 50 page.)

How to Pack Light for a Conference in New York

July 13, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

All day I’ve been crooning my inner Sinatra: “Start spreading the news. I’m leaving today…New York, New York!” For a farm girl from Wendell, Idaho, going alone to the Big Apple is 85% exciting and 20% terrifying. (I’m not good with math.)

I’ll be attending BlogHer 15, the world’s largest conference for women content creators. The three-day event is sponsored by SheKnows Media and attracts thousands of national and international bloggers. This year, I will be recognized as one of the “Voices of the Year” winners because of a post I wrote about my late mother. The honor is bittersweet.

I love to travel and have a few tips to make the experience less stressful.

Start with quality luggage. I’ve visited 32 countries around the world with my 15-year-old Hartmann pieces. They are tough, easy to transport, hold a week’s worth of clothes, and qualify as carry-on luggage. I put my purse inside the top bag.

Take only comfortable, fashionable, washable, wrinkle-resistant fabrics that can be rolled. Prepare for the first travel day with an emphasis on ease and comfort. It will take at least 10 hours to go from my home in Idaho to the Hilton in NYC, so I’m wearing sensible black Capris with a snappy shirt and a colorful jacket.

3. Pack at least one “hot” outfit with color. For Friday’s award reception, I chose a bright, burnt-orange sundress with bedazzled scarf. I coordinated jewelry and will use some of the same pieces several times.

Include a black sweater because it travels and photographs well. Wear it over a simple dress for a professional look.

Don’t be afraid to try something out of your comfort zone. I’m taking a sharp black and white dress that I’ll wear over leggings. It’s a new look for me.

Remember the essentials: a Mophie battery pack will charge Ipad and Iphone, and use a resistance band to exercise in your room so you can have wine and pie with dinner. I hand out bookmarks instead of business cards, and I organize a file with separate compartments for airline schedules, hotel reservations, and the daily conference itinerary.

As a present to myself, I’m going to the Broadway production of Carole King’s musical, “Beautiful.” I’ll wear a black, sheath dress with bling and a fringed scarf. I’ll rely on Uber car service to take me to and from the theatre.

I only take three pairs of shoes: I wear one and pack two. I don’t take high heels because they hurt my feet, and I don’t take tennis shoes because they’re too bulky.
Use only enough toiletries and medications to last for the time you’re there. Keep jewelry simple and interchange pieces.
Pack an extra tote bag to bring back purchases, conference materials, and swag. Then check one bag coming home.
Expect to learn new skills, meet new friends, and connect with valuable associates.

I always return energized after attending a conference either as a participant or as a speaker. The experience keeps the brain working, and at my age, that’s a definite advantage.

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