Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#Drinking with Dead Women Writers

“Drinking with Dead Women Writers” Read by Famous Actress

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Jane Merrow, a Golden Globes nominated actress who performed in movies with notable stars including Peter O’Toole, Peter Graves, and Katharine Hepburn, recently recorded a reading of one of the stories in Drinking with Dead Women Writers.

The recording features Merrow reading about Jane Austen, and Merrow’s delightful British accent lends authentic charm to the performance. Austen’s actual quotes are used in the conversation.

jane merrow

The book was written by Boise author AK Turner and me as the first of a two-part series and published by Mill Park Publishing of Eagle, Idaho. Drinking with Dead Women Writers describes our encounters with 16 deceased female authors, including Erma Bombeck, Louisa May Alcott, and Dorothy Parker. The sequel, Drinking with Dead Drunks, highlights 16 male authors, such as Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and William Faulkner. All the stories include authentic quotes from the authors that are weaved into the narrative of the stories. The books received several awards from the Idaho Author Awards Program.

drinking dead drunks cover

Alan Heathcock, award-winning author of VOLT, reviewed the books as “A rare mix of cleverness and intellect, and a total blast to read.” Flashlight Commentary wrote that the books were “Engaging and revealing, but most of all, flat out funny.” Readers are encouraged to listen to Merrow’s clever reading and enjoy the books.

amanda elaine book cover

Midlife Cabernet: It was a Dark and Stormy Night for a Writer

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I recently participated in a local holiday bazaar and displayed my award-winning books and sassy new calendars and offered a free bottle of wine with every $75 order. I even threw in free sweatbands. The kick-in-the-gut reality set in six hours later when I packed up my display and realized I didn’t make enough money to pay for the entry fee. I should have stayed home and played with Studley.

Many people think that writing a book will bring fame and fortune. In reality it brings that sad moment when your cart breaks and your books fall onto the pavement in the night rain. Added to the frustration is the cruel fact that the few people who straggle into a bazaar located in a hidden gym have no intention of buying a book. Not when there are necklaces made from melted spoons and scented wax that smells like Christmas trees.

The lonely event was organized to promote and celebrate local businesswomen. I brought eight titles that included a national bestseller, three national award winners, and one book that had been adopted by the Idaho Department of Education for the statewide curriculum. I didn’t sell a single book. My heart was as heavy as the boxes I lugged back to my car.

I felt extra guilty because I had encouraged my friend and author AK Turner to join me in the bazaar. We set up our tables, arranged our books, and had our Internet payment connection all ready to go. After a few hours, we realized that our return on investment was negative and our analytical husbands had been correct. Sometimes the truth really sucks.

Of course we made the best of a bad situation. We had a bottle of wine tucked inside my briefcase and sipped out of paper cups. As the evening dragged, another bottle was opened and we drowned our collective sorrow by sharing the fruit of the vine. After awhile we didn’t give a damn if anyone even looked at our books. They didn’t even deserve to look at them!

Writers have this naive optimism that the world will clamor to read their every word when in reality people would rather have some smelly candle or a lopsided pottery vase. Why buy a book written by local authors when you can wear a rhinestone bracelet made in China? Why care that a local entrepreneur spent months crafting random words into creative and clever sentences when there are burp rags selling for $2.00?

After the bazaar, it took several trips back and forth to my car to pack the table, chair, boxes of books, calendars, a case of wine, and supplies. On the last trip, my tote broke and books scattered onto the wet pavement. I fought back tears as I picked up each book, dried it on my sweater, and tossed it into the car. It was as if I were picking up pieces of my heart that nobody wanted. (Seriously, I was really milking the drama of the moment.)

I’m not bitter about the lack of sales. I congratulate the businesswomen who sold spaces for the bazaar. She made a profit. I did not. Therefore, I won’t do it again. Experience is an excellent teacher, and I’m now working on a generic book about a vampire wizard who comes in fifty shades of grey with magical powers that include funky jewelry, an incense burner, and a garden chime. That should be a bestseller.

Today’s blog is fueled by a 2011 Luna Cabernet Sauvignon from California. It’s the perfect anecdote to a demoralized mood and can be found at Crush Wine Bar in Eagle for only $22. Toss in a snickers cupcake and the world is happy once more.

Midlife Cabernet – Don’t Irritate a Menopausal Writer

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Boise’s “alternative” newspaper intends to print a negative review of our new book, Drinking with Dead Women Writers. As the coauthor and publisher of the book, I appreciate any publicity, but I do hope the article will be placed ahead of the provocative ads for bi-sexual swingers and discreet Asian escorts. Otherwise, the book could get lost in that prolific cornucopia of literary excellence.

I was sad for two minutes after hearing about the pessimistic review. But, I’ll save a copy in my “Stupid Rejections” file – which is delightfully smaller than my file labeled “Hot Damn, I Won!” Before publication, the book was reviewed by an internationally-renowned, successful author. He wrote that the stories were “a rare mix of cleverness and intellect, and a total blast to read.” That review goes into the “win” file along with other glowing comments.

On a more positive note, I’ve also learned that my company Mill Park Publishing is a Bronze Medal winner in the 2012 Independent Publisher Book Awards (IPPY), and our book Little White Dress was selected from more than 5,200 entries from around the world. The Ippy Awards honor and recognize excellence in independent publishing and writing. So, put that in your crack pipe and smoke it, Boise Weekly.

Mill Park Publishing has published five books in the last two years, all of them written by local women authors. Little White Dress provided 26 women writers with the opportunity to share their stories about the myth and meaning of their wedding dresses. Now these women can promote the fact that they are authors of a national award-winning anthology. We have four more books scheduled to be released in the next year, and they are written by, about and for women. Most of us are have survived the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism and now we’re mature enough to wash away any lingering homicidal tendencies with a bold Cabernet.

Drinking with Dead Women Writers offers a collection of essays about 16 famous women writers. In researching the greatest female voices in literary history, AK Turner and I discovered fascinating facts: many of these women suffered numerous rejections, others weren’t published until after their death, one published only one novel but it won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, and several wrote under pseudonyms or used a man’s name because the prevailing opinion was that women didn’t have the competence to be writers. My name is Elaine Ambrose.

Today’s blog is fueled by a delightful bottle of Three Legged Red by Dunham Cellars in Walla Walla, Wa. It’s only $18, and it’s the cheap cousin of Dunham Cellars 2008 Trutina, a marvelous blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Syrah and Merlot. That wine goes for $30, and both wines can be found at A New Vintage Wine Shop near Fairview and Eagle Road. Read the label on the Three Legged Red – it’s a touching story about an injured puppy named Port.