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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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You are here: Home / Archives for #grandparents

#grandparents

How to Tell an Enchanting Story

July 30, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

storyteller

“Please tell me a made-up story, Tutu,” my wee granddaughter begs as I close her picture book and tuck her into bed. I mentally scramble for an image and suddenly a little old lady pops into my imagination.

“Here’s one,” I say, much to her delight. Then I begin the spontaneous tale of a sad older lady who needs an adventure. I toss in the ability to fly and to find magical meadows full of talking birds. It always helps to include at least one princess, a nasty troll, and a few immature bodily noises. For a successful story that pleases the most discerning child, I rely upon past experience: A flying princess, yes. Dead puppies, no.

storyteller doll 2

I have a small collection of ceramic storytellers crafted in Peru and New Mexico. They represent the South American and Native American Indian tradition of using oral stories as a teaching tool for younger generations. The figurines depict a centered, nurturing, and powerful woman who inspires children with lessons and stories about their culture. Back before the intrusion of electronics, women told stories to their children, and it was a privilege to do the same for my children and now my grandkids. Sometimes I need to think fast to create the story, but it works best if I make it enchanting.

storyteller doll 3

For the novice entertainer, here are eight tips for how to tell an enchanting story.

  1. Begin with a provocative set-up. One day a (pick one) little girl, puppy, mother, King woke up and discovered that no one was home.
  2. Explain how something happens, either to the main character or the environment. She searched in all the rooms but no one was there. On the kitchen table, she saw a bright red arrow pointing to the back yard.
  3. In one or two sentences, tell how the plot thickens. The stakes are raised when tension appears: She peeked out the window and saw a (pick one) fairy, pony, rainbow, salesman, monster.
  4. Mentally analyze the reaction of the audience and adjust accordingly. If the listeners aren’t engaged by this time, strengthen the narrative. She was (pick one) afraid, surprised, happy, shy, vomiting.
  5. Build a vision of a scene that involves the senses: sight, sound, taste, vision, and touch. The door creaked as she opened it and tiptoed barefoot in her calico gown into the cool grass. She felt a gentle breeze toss her red hair, and the air smelled of mint and oranges.
  6. Weave a climax that produces an “aha” moment for the audience. Suddenly her family appeared with gifts for her surprise party. Or, if you’re feeling more creative, she followed a cluster of chaotic clowns as they scampered over a rainbow into a secret castle full of toys and sugar cookies.
  7. End when the story is resolved. It was the perfect surprise party. Or, she loved her imaginary friends and promised to join them again another day. Or, she scurried home to read adventure books and plan her next excursion.
  8. Record your story. To improve your storytelling abilities, record yourself reciting an original fable. You may notice you speak too quickly or say “um” too many times. Also, a recording creates a fun gift to present to your children or grandchildren.

Some people are born to be storytellers, and their yarns and tall tales aren’t limited to children. They often regale adults with their creative narrations, and a friendly bar or boisterous camping trip only intensifies the renditions. Well-told accounts can enrich the imagination of children and entertain adults. As an added benefit, the regular practice keeps the brain energized so you’re ready any time a small voice begs, “Please, tell me a story.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #grandparents, #parenting, #tradition, imagination, New Mexican art, oral history, Peru, South American culture, storyteller

The First Motherless Mother’s Day

May 6, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

(Published on The Huffington Post – May 4, 2015)

elaine leona 1951

The first year of holidays without her is the hardest. I deliberately walk past the festive displays of Mother’s Day cards and ignore the advertisements for flowers, and I’ve tuned out the hype and the obligatory admonishments to do something, anything, for Mother. Because she died.

Experience taught me that time erases the sadness. Sometimes I forget my father’s birthday. He passed away 26 years ago, and now I don’t remember the sound of his voice. On Father’s Day, I send cards to my son and son-in-law and give a small present to my husband, and I’m grateful for my honored role as mother and grandmother. Now I have the new title of matriarch.

The cycle of life isn’t new; babies are born and people die. I accept that. But, I don’t know why some people suffer so much and others get to die peacefully in their sleep. Both my parents spent their last years in physical and mental pain, and I couldn’t do anything to ease their transition. Because of the visions of my parents lying ashen and twisted in their beds, when I’m too feeble to live with dignity, I intend to have a grand party before I exit this life and explore what is beyond.

leona wheelchair

After a parent dies, there are the usual regrets from those still living. I should have visited Mom more often. Every time I got up to leave, she would clutch my hand and beg me to stay. I should have played her favorite music, opened her scrapbooks and patiently listened as she attempted to say words she couldn’t remember. I should have combed her hair again and brought her costume jewelry. I should have stayed longer.

The guilt consumes me every time I drive past her former assisted living facility. She lived in three rooms, progressing from resident to assisted living to terminal. Instead of a child passing onward to higher grades in school, she was going backwards with every physical and mental collapse. I used to cry in my car before and after every visit. I should have stayed longer.

I saved a wreath from her funeral. The flowers are dried and brittle, but I’ll take it to her grave on Mother’s Day. I’ll return again a week later on her birthday. I won’t forget the date. It’s May 20.

2015-05-02-1430572436-1002706-ambroseheadstone.jpeg

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #death, #eldercare, #grandparents, #Mothers Day, #parenting, The Huffington Post 50

Prom Dress or Pole Dancer Costume?

April 9, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

gold dress

One of the many advantages of being a crusty curmudgeon is that I can shake my head, roll my eyes, and mutter about this spring’s sexualized prom dresses displayed by petulant teenage girls taking duck-faced selfies while festooned like bridesmaids and pole dancers pecking about on teeny high-heeled sandals. The guys will be suffering inside a tuxedo while lamenting that the tux rental cost more than a tank of gas and a case of beer. All the commercialized commotion is for a dance that they’ll attend for a few minutes.

According to CBS News Money Watch, the average cost of going to the prom is around $1,000 to cover the proposal, attire, limousine rental, tickets, flowers, pictures, and after-party festivities. That doesn’t include additional expenses for hair, nails, pedicures, and make-up applications, presumably for the females.

Getting dressed up to go to prom is a special tradition, and I don’t mind the youngsters removing their holey jeans, trench coats, and dog collars to wear some fancy duds. I do reserve the freedom to poke fun at some of the dresses. I grew up on a farm, sewed my own simple prom dress, and was escorted to the dance as a passenger in a cattle truck. I still had a great time, even with a speck of manure on my sensible shoes.

For fun indignation, let’s review some of this year’s fashions.

cinderella dress

The Promgirl.com website offers that latest styles in prom dresses, along with tips for planning and surviving the perfect prom. One voluminous gown, appropriately called the Disney Cinderella Forever Enchanted Keepsake Gown is only $495 and is perfect for an aspiring princess. However, any dress that needs six names is excessive.

maxi dress

For only $49, you can buy the Floor Length Maxi Dress that doesn’t even come close to being enchanted or a keepsake. However, it might come in handy in the summer to cover the picnic table.

black romper

For the indecent ingénue, there’s this spring’s Black Romper for $69. This ensemble should come with a $2 condom. At least the Disney Cinderella Forever Enchanted Keepsake Gown requires a bit of imagination. It’s interesting to note that prom.com offers 62 styles of prom dresses for pregnant women, just in time for the dances that will come eight months after the spring fling.

gold dress

The “shimmering foil jersey fabric with seductive mesh detailing” is advertised as a knockout prom dress that accentuates all the right curves. Those of us with back fat and the desire to sit down should not attempt this garment. Not many parents are buying the outfit because the price is reduced from $278 to $99, but that’s a bargain for any future stripper. A credit card reader is optional.

prom gown

One sophisticated prom dress costs $1,224. You can get the same look by shrinking a $5 t-shirt and wrapping yourself in $45 worth of satin. Stash the remaining $1,174 into your college fund and plan your own clothing line.

Maybe it’s with nostalgia instead of criticism that I disapprove of modern styles. I vaguely remember being young and idealistic when preparing for the prom, and I have fond memories of all the crepe paper streamers, printed dance cards, loud gymnasiums, and grand processions. It was that unique time when we all wanted to grow up, and we didn’t have a clue what that meant. So, I’ll smile at all the young couples stuffed into costumes, corsets, and cummerbunds, and encourage them to enjoy life before they turn into cantankerous curmudgeons. Just stay off of my lawn.

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #fashion, #grandparents, #humor, #midlife, #parenting, dresses, prom, tuxedo

When Your Parents were Lovers

March 21, 2015 By Elaine Ambrose

(Featured on The Huffington Post 50 on March 20, 2015)mom dad 1947 2

The grainy, black-and-white photographs from 1946 fluttered to the floor, free from decades of bondage among hundreds of photos in my mother’s leather albums. I picked up the images and stared at my parents and strained to imagine the young couple in love.

My father stood in his Army fatigues in front of a row of tanks in Japan. While he served overseas after World War II, his wallet contained the photo of my mother in a swimming suit. My earliest images of her are quite different. I remember her in a large flowered dress, waving to me with plump arms while admonishing me to “be good” because my father was coming home from work. I’m amazed that she once was a charming young woman, smiling to her fiancé, wearing a bathing suit in front of a flower garden. I wish I had known her then.

2015-03-20-1426825953-9105814-leonanealselfie1947.png

Another photo from 1948 was a self-portrait, taken long before instant selfies were available on cellular telephones. Their young innocence intrigues me. I imagine my mother sewing linens for her hope chest while listening to the Glenn Miller Orchestra on the radio. I see my father coaxing an old tractor to complete one more row in the field before dark. They married on a cool day in late November 1948 with nothing but determination and grit. The years brought prosperity and heartache. Dad passed away in 1989 after receiving a cancerous, transplanted liver. Mom slipped into dementia a few years ago and died last November, just short of what would have been their 66th wedding anniversary.

I never saw them hug and kiss. I guess the stress of several businesses and bad health depleted their romantic energy. For several years, my father lived in another state during the week, where he operated a trucking business. Every year, Dad would give me money to buy Mom presents for Christmas and other special occasions. She would always buy him a patio lounge chair for Father’s Day. The fabric rotted, unused, in the sun.

2015-03-20-1426826020-8411010-nealleonawedding.png

Of all the faded photos I’ve examined, none are as profound as the ones of the young couple in love. That’s how I choose to remember them. They were beautiful, before the trauma and drama of life cheated them out of growing old together. I want them to know their legacy is strong, and lives on through their amazing grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

I have a request for my middle-aged friends: Are your parents still living? If so, maybe you could take a few hours and visit with them. Ask them about their courtship and their first years together. I predict they will open their hearts and their scrapbooks and begin to talk. Help them celebrate the memories of their young love. Otherwise, you may never know about their passion until a wrinkled photograph falls onto the floor after they’re gone. This weekend, I’ll play Glenn Miller’s “String of Pearls” and open another album.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #eldercare, #grandparents, Glenn Miller, memory, parents, scrakpbooks, World War ll

Midlife Cabernet – A Vintage, Full-bodied Blog

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

The power of a child! My sweet granddaughter, Mirabel Ruby, celebrated her second birthday yesterday with a festive party as four generations enjoyed brunch and mimosas prepared by her parents, singing by her cousins, and a musical program from her grandparents.

The amazing reality of this event was that 15 adults of totally diverse backgrounds and beliefs came together to celebrate this wonderful little girl. We had liberals, conservatives, agnostics, new-agers, a vegetarian, and a widow who still thinks Eisenhower is president. At least three guests own a concealed weapon permit and several others wouldn’t have a gun in the house. We represent a sample of America, and we’ll probably cancel out each other’s votes during the next presidential election.

But, we came together to sing, laugh, and celebrate the extraordinary life of a two-year-old who just last week learned to crawl. Mirabel was born with ten fingers, ten toes, and Down syndrome. And, she has the power to unite all of us. Cheers and thank you, Sweet Mirabel!

At home, to continue the celebration, I opened a 2009 Terra-Barossa Shiraz from Australia. I was hesitant to purchase the wine, mainly because I’m a Cabernet fan and the bottle had a screw top, but it was highly recommended by the Co-op in Boise. I was surprised and pleased at the rich flavor, and it tasted of spicy plums and creamy oak. This wine is good enough to go without the lovely sound of a popping cork. It’s about $20 at the Boise Co-op.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #Boise Co-op, #cabernet, #grandparents, #midlife

Midlife Cabernet: The World is Better when Pooh Bear is Safe

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

imageI enjoyed a social engagement this week with an extraordinary little girl I call Sweetie Pie. We shared a tea party with yellow bananas and green peppers on pink checkered plates. Then we read colorful books and sang silly songs. But the genteel mood disappeared when our movie brought a significant amount of concern and worry. Crazy bees were chasing Winnie-the-Pooh in the hundred acre wood!

To prepare for the movie, Sweetie Pie selected a cozy fleece blanket, a cuddly bear, and a beautiful doll. We settled in to watch Winnie-the-Pooh, based upon the 1926 book by A.A. Milne. Thousands of children’s books have been written since then, but the gentle, steadfast, loveable bear still warms the hearts of little girls and boys everywhere.

The scenes were from the original book and the accompanying music was sweet. But the bear continued to get into trouble. He got stuck in Rabbit’s front door because he ate too much honey. Then got trapped in Owl’s house during a wind storm. But the scary part came when the bees were chasing him through the forest and he was under pressure to escape. Sweetie Pie was anxious until he was safe.

I feel the same way about her. She is so tender, vulnerable, and precious. Sometimes she stares at me with the gaze of an old soul, and I wonder what she knows. She is my granddaughter and our heritage is strong, forged from pioneers and farmers who were good and worthy. In her face, I see the past and the future, and all I want is for her to be protected from any harm.

Sweetie Pie was born four years ago with ten fingers, ten toes, and one extra chromosome. She has Down syndrome. She has brought joy and unconditional love to our family, and she receives it in return. After our play date she gave me a big hug and toddled to the car with her parents. For now, she is safe. And the world is a better place.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #Down Syndrome, #grandparents, #midlife

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