Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#Greece

Valentine’s Day: Go Laugh with Your Lover

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What’s the best gift for Valentine’s Day? A belly laugh. Not a wimpy snicker or a timid giggle, but a full-body experience that is triggered in the brain, rumbles up from the gut, and erupts with an emotional release that causes eyes to water, noses to run, and feet to stomp. This display of delight should be repeated as often as possible, but not while driving or carrying a full martini.

Studley and I were in our fifties when we met and married, so we didn’t need to focus on the demands of establishing careers and raising children together. We just get to play house and stay active enough to chase each other around the hot tub. We’ve discovered the joy of living out loud, and that includes, but is not limited to, spontaneous bouts of laughter.

Laughing during our Greek Wedding

One of my favorite photographs shows us laughing during our wedding on the Greek island of Paros. I look like a disheveled sack of spuds because it was windy by the chapel on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean Sea and my hair was a mess. We had an Ancient Greek ceremony so we wore bulky linen togas tied with a rope, and by the time the photograph was taken, my laurel wreath had gone with the wind. And the photo shows the hands of a little, one-eyed musician playing a goat bladder. But, I’m laughing. With gusto.

The world continues to turn like a smoldering compost pile, and sometimes it’s difficult to find something that causes laughter. I recommend watching a comedy or reading a humorous book or watching toddlers play. When my children were little, we would watch the I Love to Laugh song in the Mary Poppins video and repeat the scene several times until we were gasping in fits of giggles. Chuckling with children is almost as much fun as laughing with your lover.

I don’t go to movies that are excessively violent or scary because the images fill my imagination with terrible thoughts that haunt me for months, and I’m trying to reduce the time I spend watching or reading the news. Last week I watched a crime drama on television that gave me nightmares and I woke up yelling. I’d much rather wake up laughing. Studley agrees with that fact.

Some women have a fear of boisterous laughter because guffawing makes them snort or wet their pants. I don’t see any problems with that. By midlife we either accept that our bodies will betray and embarrass us on a daily basis or we go live in the basement and watch sad movies. It takes brave risk-takers to open up and hoot with wild abandon. Besides, laughter is good for your health. Studies show that regular laughing boosts your immune system, oxygenates your blood, tightens your stomach muscles, and releases healthy chemicals in your brain that improve your mood. Happiness really is the best medicine.

In case you’ve forgotten how to laugh, try this technique:

1. Squint your eyes.

2. Pull your mouth into a tight grin

3. .Make a high squeal then lower your voice and make a series of “Ha, Ha, Ha.”

4. Rock back and forth.

5. Repeat several times.

If that doesn’t make you chuckle, it certainly will amuse those around you. And, that’s a good start. Make it a noble goal to laugh several times a week and you’ll discover that more people want to be around you. Stock up on crackers, cheese, and wine because there are hoards of miserable people searching for laughter. It’s your duty to share the joy.

The 6 Benefits of Getting Married at Midlife

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(This blog was featured on The Huffington Post Fifty on March 6, 2015.)

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If you’re over 50 and planning your wedding, here’s a nugget of advice: For a unique musician, consider a little one-eyed Greek playing a goat bladder. That worked for us.

Studley and I met after being divorced from marriages that had lasted more than 22 years. We weren’t proud of those failures, but we were willing to take another chance on love and life. Based upon our successful experience, here are some advantages of midlife marriage:

1. There is no pressure to have the “perfect wedding.” We’ve all attended lavish ceremonies that ended before the thank you notes were sent. At our age, we’re celebrating the fact that someone else wants to say “I do” and we prefer something non-traditional. With an open bar.

2. There aren’t any in-law issues. Three of our four parents had passed away and my sweet mother suffered from dementia. She didn’t remember his name … or mine.

3. Make your own arrangements and pay the expenses. One of my favorite movies isMama Mia but the quaint little Greek church shown in the movie isn’t available for weddings. Besides, I would have fallen off the narrow path leading to the church. So we used frequent flyer miles and a timeshare to get married at the quaint Anezina Village Hotel on the Greek island of Paros.

4. Skip the wedding planner. Our simple accommodations were owned by a jolly Greek woman named Maria and her adult son Stavros. She adopted us when we arrived and planned an authentic, Ancient Greek wedding complete with borrowed togas, head wreaths of laurel vines, and a Greek Orthodox priest who couldn’t speak English. The ceremony took place outside a chapel on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. Priceless.

5. Skip the buffet line. Our hostess cooked an amazing meal to celebrate the wedding and invited all the other guests who were staying at the resort. Music was provided by a shy man pounding on a drum and the little one-eyed Greek who played a goat bladder. A few cases of wine completed the festivities, and we all danced until dawn.

6. Look beyond the body. At midlife, we have some wrinkles, age spots, receding hairlines, and flabby guts despite hundreds of sit-ups. But true love comes from within, in that deep, dark recess of the heart and mind that says “Take another chance. This time it will work.”

2015-02-27-weddingelainechurch.jpg

Someday we’ll return to Paros and hike to the chapel overlooking the sea. We’ll celebrate another festive anniversary, with or without the goat bladder music.

Midlife Weddings and Goat Bladder Ballads

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greek wedding drummer

The wedding invitations are arriving, and I study each one using analytical, investigative skills that could qualify me for a reality show as an oracle. Future bliss or pending doom can be detected from the aura of the invitation. Here is some unsolicited but free advice from someone who has been around the punch bowl a few times.

1. Tiny script surrounded by gaudy illustrations of flowers, birds, and glittery ribbons means the couple is too young to get married and should opt instead for a Hello Kitty theme party. If I can’t read the words and the return address, I certainly can’t send a gift.

2. Don’t fill half the invitation by naming all the parents, step-parents, and significant others. We don’t care.

3. Don’t send cute but obnoxious invitations from your kids or pets or attorney. We can’t be fooled.

4. Don’t ask for money in lieu of gifts. I don’t need any more bills in the mail, and I’d probably send a check anyway but I want that to be MY idea.

5. After the second wedding, don’t send invitations to the sequel unless you’re providing a catered banquet and open bar. We’ll come for that.

6. Most midlife marriages are best announced after the ceremony and include an invitation to a joyful, raucous party that ends before midnight because we can’t dance until dawn anymore.

My husband and I met after we had raised children, established careers, and knew how to manage money. That means we had distinct advantages over most young couples. And, there were no in-law issues. Our one living parent has dementia and can’t remember our names, anyway.

greek wedding

Instead of attempting a traditional marriage, we eloped to the Greek island of Paros and stayed in a quaint resort near the Mediterranean Sea. Our hostess arranged an ancient wedding ceremony, complete with linen togas, laurel wreaths on our heads, and a priest who couldn’t speak English. Music was provided by a little one-eyed musician playing a goat bladder.

After the ceremony near a chapel overlooking the sea, we proceeded back to the resort. (Yes, I love the movie “Mama Mia” but we chose not to sing to each other on a narrow, windswept cliff.) Wine flowed and platters of homemade food passed among strangers who stopped to join the festivities. The resort owner gave us white almonds tied in mesh bags, saying in broken English that the gifts were usually given to encourage fertility, and we promised to keep trying. We ended the evening by dancing and laughing with people we’ll never see again.

Our wedding was perfect for us. The expenses for the trip were less than the cost of a traditional wedding, and we didn’t need any toasters or towels. Our grown children were sad they missed the event, but someday we’ll take them all back to Paros. I hope we can find the delightful musicians. Every marriage should be blessed with an authentic ballad played by a little one-eyed man with a goat bladder. That tradition has survived for centuries in Greece, and we know that, finally, our marriage will last, too.

Midlife Cabernet: Midlife Marriage can be Marvelous

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If you’re trying to choose your wedding musician, consider a little one-eyed Greek playing a goat bladder. That worked for us.

Studley and I met after being divorced from marriages that had lasted more than 22 years. We weren’t proud of those failures, but we were willing to take another chance on love and life. Based upon our successful experience, here are some advantages of midlife marriage:

1. There is no pressure to have the “perfect wedding.” We’ve all attended lavish ceremonies for marriages that ended before the bar bill was paid. At our age, we’re celebrating the fact that someone else wants to say “I do” and we prefer something non-traditional. With a no-host bar.

2. There’s aren’t any in-law issues. Three of our four parents have passed away and my sweet mother suffers from dementia. She can’t remember his name…or mine.

3. Make your own arrangements and pay the expenses. One of my favorite movies is Mama Mia but the quaint little Greek church shown in the movie isn’t available for weddings. Besides, I would have fallen off the narrow path leading to the church. So we used frequent flyer miles and a timeshare to get married at the quaint Anezina Village Hotel on the Greek island of Paros.

4. Skip the wedding planner. Our simple accommodations were owned by a jolly Greek woman named Maria and her adult son Stavros. She adopted us when we arrived and planned an authentic, Ancient Greek wedding complete with borrowed togas, head wreaths of laurel vines, and a Greek Orthodox priest who couldn’t speak English. The ceremony took place outside a chapel on a hill overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. Priceless.

5. Skip the buffet line. Our hostess cooked an amazing meal to celebrate the wedding and invited all the other guests who were staying at the resort. Music was provided by a shy man pounding on a drum and the little one-eyed Greek who played a goat bladder. A few cases of wine completed the festivities, and we all danced until dawn.

6. Look beyond the body. At midlife, we have some wrinkles, age spots, receding hairlines, and flabby guts despite hundreds of sit-ups. But true love comes from within, in that deep, dark recess of the heart and mind that says “Take another chance. This time it will work.”

Someday we’ll return to Paros and hike to the chapel overlooking the sea. I hope it’s to celebrate another festive anniversary.