Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Where Were the Good Songs of Summer?

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dancing sunset

(Featured on The Huffington Post 50 on Sept. 1, 2015)

Back when songs had creative lyrics and tunes were memorable, we turned up the volume on our record players and cassette tapes and sang along with the Beach Boys, the Rolling Stones, and The Beatles. Most of the summer hits from our childhood are still popular today, and the melodies linger like old friends. In gloomy contrast, the forgettable songs of this summer make me want to kick a puppy.

One of the top rated songs is “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift. In the video, she plays a mad scientist and parades about in apocalyptic black leather costumes. Mixed with the scenes of scowling women fighting with swords and beheading evil men is the shocking image of a teddy bear stabbed to a wall with a serrated knife. Taylor Swift struts through broken glass and fiery explosions as she sings, “Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes” and “Still got scars in my back from your knives.” I didn’t purchase this song.

Another bestselling song is “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd. In the music video, the singer with a gigantic spider on his head bursts into flames on stage. The beat is catchy but most of the song consists of two lines sung over and over: “Can’t feel my face when I’m with you but I love it.” Maybe if the artists could write real lyrics, they could get some feeling back. I know that after listening to the song I couldn’t feel my fingers because I smashed them with a hammer while trying to stop the music.

One more top song is “OMI – Cheerleader” performed by Felix Jaehn. The rhythm isn’t bad but the repetitive lyrics are too chauvinistic for my taste. “I think I found myself a cheerleader. She’s always there when I need her.” I hope young women aspire to greater passions than cavorting and twerking on the beach with the New England Patriots cheerleaders while being on call for their man.

Let’s reminisce about the real songs of summer. In the 1960s, the Beach Boys lulled us to sleep with “Surfer Girl,” and Jan and Dean woke us with “Surf City.” We danced to “Heat Wave” by Martha and the Vandellas, crooned to “Roses are Red” by Bobby Vinton, and ended our summer by dancing and singing “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones. We were hip, groovy, and cool.

During the 1960s and 1970s, we grew up with The Beatles singing “Yellow Submarine” and “Hey Jude” and “A Hard Day’s Night.” We still remember the lyrics and tunes for these songs. Somehow I doubt that young people will be singing “Can’t Feel My Face” fifty years from now.

Old classics about summertime never grow old. The song “Summertime” was composed in 1934 by George Gershwin for the 1935 opera Porgy and Bess. The mesmerizing song has been creatively adapted by famous soloists from every genre. Ella Fitzgerald added soul, Billy Stewart brought jazz, Janis Joplin cried pain into the song, and Norah Jones turned it into a hymn. Each version can be viewed and appreciated on YouTube.

Other great summer songs include “Summerwind” by Frank Sinatra. Recorded in 1966, the song remains a classic worthy of the best piano bars in the country. In 1972, Seals and Crofts caused our bodies to sway with “Summer Breeze,” and in 1985, Katrina and the Waves got us skipping down the street singing “Walking on Sunshine.” Those were the summer songs we remember, and they made us sing.

I sound like an old curmudgeon, and that’s because I am. I appreciate the music of my life and the melodies that continue to play in my mind. Long before videos became more important than the lyrics, we listened, danced, and sang along. And through it all, not one teddy bear was murdered.

Make Your Own Music

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musical notes

I grew up listening to The Captain and Tennille singing about “Muskrat Love” and The Carpenters warbling “Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad.”

I believe those two songs were solely responsible for the rise of heavy metal bands and for Black Sabbath’s song “Electric Funeral” about nuclear annihilation. It’s all about balance.

Music should be an important part of your life, and never be ashamed of grabbing the karaoke microphone and warbling a festive tune from 1980. Add the eager passion of a professional soloist despite knowing that when the sun rises you won’t be able to carry a tune in a punch bowl. But for a brief moment, when the evening is full of untainted potential, you’ll become a soulful crooner for all the ages, sharing your song with the universe.

Your challenge is to keep the music playing.

Keep the music playing long after the party is over, the bills are past-due, and a recording contract is still elusive. The late comedian George Carlin said, “It’s called The American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.” His acerbic humor nailed it. How can you sing a joyful song when life keeps dumping junk on your head? Maybe you’re unemployed or in a lousy job, or you haven’t had any loving since 2008, or your dog ran away. Look on the bright side – you could write Country Western songs!

Music and mood are closely interrelated — listening to a sad or happy song alters your moods and has the ability to change your perception of the world around you. For example, gothic metal music makes me want to damage something with a chain saw, while a classical aria causes me to (almost) levitate with elation. In a stressful situation, a little dose of “Walking on Sunshine” could be all it takes to relieve the tension.

Here are some exercises to prove that music alters your mood.

Imagine seeing and hearing the following scenarios:

You’re struggling in the steaming jungles of Vietnam as you hear the foreboding song “The End” by The Doors as played in the movie Apocalypse Now. Then you’re drinking alone in a dark bar as a Billie Holiday impersonator croons “Gloomy Sunday.” You claw out of a deep depression only to hear Kansas singing “Dust in the Wind.” By now you should be wallowing on the floor, sobbing in anguish about the wretched world.

Now, pretend you’re twirling on a panoramic Austrian mountain meadow singing “The Sound of Music” with Julie Andrews. You’re even wearing a summer dress with a festive apron. Then transport yourself to a sunny beach listening to the jaunty tune of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Finally, turn up the volume on “Chariots of Fire” or “Rocky.” Yo, Adrian! Are you smiling yet?

No matter what festivity or calamity is in your future, you should have a song or two ready to suit the occasion.

If you can’t find the perfect tune, create your own. Add it to your bucket list to make your own music by the end of the year.  Don’t worry if you’re unsure about writing a song. Remember the immortal lyrics of that famous song that rose to #4 on the Billboard Charts – “Now he’s tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes. Muzzle to muzzle, now, anything goes as they wriggle, Sue starts to giggle.” That song includes synthesized sound effects simulating muskrat copulation. Yes, you can do better!

Midlife Cabernet: Make Your Own Music in 2013

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The songs of the holidays.

bigstock-Abstract-Funky-Music-Backgroun-40038553-300x225I grew up listening to The Captain and Tennille singing about “Muskrat Love” and The Carpenters warbling “Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad.”

I believe those two songs were solely responsible for the rise of heavy metal bands and for Black Sabbath’s song “Electric Funeral” about nuclear annihilation. It’s all about balance.

To survive in the new year, make music an important part of your life. At the stroke of midnight on December 31, you’ll take a cup of kindness yet and sing “Auld Lang Syne” with the eager passion of a professional soloist despite knowing that when the sun rises you won’t be able to carry a tune in a punch bowl. But for a brief moment, when the year is new and full of untainted potential, you’ll become a soulful crooner for all the ages, sharing your song with the universe.

Your challenge in 2013 is to keep the music playing.

Keep the music playing long after the confetti is thrown into the garbage, the bills are past-due, and prosperity is still elusive. The late comedian George Carlin said, “It’s called The American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.” His acerbic humor nailed it. How can you sing a joyful song when life keeps dumping junk on your head? Maybe you’re unemployed or in a lousy job, or you haven’t had any loving since 2008, or your dog ran away. Look on the bright side – you could write Country Western songs!

Music and mood are closely interrelated — listening to a sad or happy song alters your moods and has the ability to change your perception of the world around you. For example, gothic metal music makes me want to damage something with a chain saw, while a classical aria causes me to (almost) levitate with elation. In a stressful situation, a little dose of “Walking on Sunshine” could be all it takes to relieve the tension.

Here are some exercises to prove that music alters your mood.

Imagine seeing and hearing the following scenarios:

You’re struggling in the steaming jungles of Vietnam as you hear the foreboding song “The End” by The Doors as played in the movie Apocalypse Now. Then you’re drinking alone in a dark bar as a Billie Holiday impersonator croons “Gloomy Sunday.” You claw out of a deep depression only to hear Kansas singing “Dust in the Wind.” By now you should be wallowing on the floor, sobbing in anguish about the wretched world.

Now, pretend you’re twirling on a panoramic Austrian mountain meadow singing “The Sound of Music” with Julie Andrews. You’re even wearing a summer dress with a festive apron. Then transport yourself to a sunny beach listening to the jaunty tune of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” Finally, turn up the volume on “Chariots of Fire” or “Rocky.” Yo, Adrian! Are you smiling yet?

No matter what festivity or calamity the next year brings, you should have a song or two ready to suit the occasion.

If you can’t find the perfect tune, create your own. Add it to your bucket list for 2013 to make your own music by the end of the year. Don’t worry if you’re unsure about writing a song. Remember the immortal lyrics of that famous song that rose to #4 on the Billboard Charts – “Now he’s tickling her fancy, rubbing her toes. Muzzle to muzzle, now, anything goes as they wriggle, Sue starts to giggle.” That song includes synthesized sound effects simulating muskrat copulation. Yes, you can do better!

Today’s blog is fueled by a 2009 Stags’ Leap Cabernet Sauvignon from Napa Valley. It’s about $50 a bottle but perfect with a rib eye steak for New Year’s Eve.

Elaine Ambrose is a contributing blogger for JenningsWire, a blogging community created by Annie Jennings.

Midlife Cabernet: Where have all the Lyrics Gone?

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If you need proof that we are doomed as a civilized society, just read the lyrics of the most popular songs. That will inspire you to give away your possessions to go live in the forest and wistfully play a flute beside a mountain stream.

At the risk of sounding like a crusty, crabby curmudgeon, I regretfully lament the disappearance of quality lyrics in pop culture. With apologies to Pete Seeger’s original song, I ask “Where have all the lyrics gone?” Over the past 50 years, we’ve digressed from “I want to hold your hand” to “If I eat you like a cannibal ain’t nothing to it gangsta rap made me do it.”

The Number One song of 1964 was You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling performed by the Righteous Brothers. The opening lyrics were poignant:

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.

And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips.”

One of the tops songs today is Drunk in Love performed by Beyoncé Knowles. Here are some of the lyrics in her top rated song:

We woke up in the kitchen saying “How in the hell did this sh#t happen?”

Nice.

And who wouldn’t be inspired by the creative words of Miley Cyrus singing in her pop tune We Can’t Stop:

To my home girls here with the big butts shaking it like we at a strip club.

Then there is the enchanted melody of HipHop/Rap music. The current number one song Fight the Power by Public Enemy offers this inspirational line:

I’m ready an’ hyped plus I’m amped most of my heroes don’t appear on no stamp.

Here’s the last awful lyric I can type without going blind. It’s from Lady Gaga’s “song” Beautiful, Dirty, Rich:

Beautiful and dirty dirty rich rich we’ve got a redlight pornographic dance fight systematic, honey but we got no money.

I enjoy music that was performed from the late 1960s through the 1980s. The top ten songs from 1980 feature the works of a wide diversity of artists: Blondie, Michael Jackson, Pink Floyd, Bette Midler, Billy Joel, Queen, and Paul McCartney. I’ll play their music any day. Other personal favorites include Procol Harum, Moody Blues, UB40, Carole King, and Norah Jones. I also listen to the music of current singers such as Katy Perry and Adele, and I’m a sucker for the crooners, from Frank Sinatra to Josh Groban.

But before I am pressured to make that final decision to buy a flute and escape to the forest, I’ll head down the freeway playing my favorite music. The perfect driving song is Go West, originally by the Village People but perfected by the Pet Shop Boys. Here are some of the understandable lyrics:

Go West. Life is peaceful there. Go West. In the open air.

Go West. Baby you and me. Go West. This is our destiny.

Today’s blog was fueled by a 2011 Salentein Reserve Malbec from Argentina. The intense aroma of blueberries, violets, and vanilla makes your taste buds wake up and holler “Give me some!” But this is one wine that has a fabulous nose but disappoints with taste. I’ll go back to Cabernet. And good music.