Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#peace

Choose to Cause a Positive Ripple

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ophelia rameriz

(My guest blogger today is Ophelia Ramirez, creator of an Act as One movement that promotes unity through love and respect. Find more information on this Facebook page.)

I’ve been thinking much lately about the crazy level of unkindness in the world and how overt it seems to be these days. I’m not sure if it’s really more overt, or whether, thanks to technology, it’s simply more accessible, more obvious.  Whatever the reason, it is in my/our face on a daily basis. It’s all too easy to collapse into despair, to bemoan the bygone days of decency that I believe are largely seen through rose-colored glasses.  Still, it needs to be acknowledged that in this time, hate, unkindness, vitriol, are prevalent.

And yet, I believe that we are all on this planet, all at this time for a reason.  Marianne Williamson once said in response to a person asking why we needed to do anything if it’s all an illusion anyway, “ It’s up to us to transform the illusion, to change it.”  (I put quotes around that to denote her words but it may not be exact).  The point is that it is up to us to change our reality.  It is up to us to change ourselves first and by doing so change others.  This is the only way the world changes.  This is not a naive platitude.  After the Paris bombings, the Dalai Lama responded by saying that it is futile to look to governments for the answer.  He said any meaningful change will come from individuals changing themselves.

 

act as one logo

There are many instances where big changes happened because one person had the courage to step forward.  We can easily think of many famous people who had the courage to make a difference: Mahatma Ghandi, Rosa Parks, Oskar Schindler, Steve Jobs – yes, they all had many people backing them up but they had the initial spark and the courage to act on it. If you are like me, and really, like most of us, we ask ourselves how can I make a difference? What could I possibly do that will make a dent?  Well, think of all the people in your life who have changed you in some way.  Maybe it was something they did. Perhaps they said something that affected you more than they will ever know.

Now think the reverse of that: how many people have you influenced? What kind word or act of yours helped others?  We interact with many people each day: family members, clerks, fellow employees, people on the road, grocery store personnel, the list is long.  We all have an opportunity to each day to touch the lives of many.  As the popular meme says, “Being kind costs $0.00”.

Our every action has a ripple effect – we can choose to have our ripple be one of good. I invite you to join me in making waves that will change our world for the better.

Send me a post or a video of how you are sending out ripples for change or of how someone else’s actions has affected you; I will post them on my site.  My email is: [email protected]

We can do better.  We must do better.  We can Act As One.

World Peace BBQ Ribs

By

ken ribs cabin 14

The adults at our recent family BBQ will cancel each other’s votes in the next presidential election. Yet we were all able to come together and eschew politics to chew on the best ribs in the whole world. And no one was offended, criticized, or shot – and that’s always a goal at my dinner parties.

When my mother was still here, she would take her place at the table and repeat her irritation that Barry Goldwater lost the 1964 presidential election to Lyndon Johnson who subsequently destroyed the country with his socialist programs. But she gobbled up the ribs and laughed along with her granddaughter, a fan of President Obama. Another family member had marched in liberal parades yet happily dined with two conservative, gun-toting police officers. By the end of the feast, nine racks of ribs were gone and 16 people were happy with life and at peace with the universe. It’s too bad people in the Middle East don’t eat pork because these ribs could save a lot of unnecessary warfare.

I believe that Studley and I make the best ribs ever. The secret is in my rub and steaming technique and in his Texas-style sauce. Here’s our recipe that is guaranteed to delight taste buds of all ages and pacify any political pomposity:

ribs

World Peace BBQ Ribs

Place a few racks of pork baby back ribs on a rack over a broiler pan.

Create a rub of equal parts grated lemon rind, grated fresh ginger, and lots of pressed fresh garlic. Pat the paste on the ribs. (Save the lemons for iced tea or water.)

Pour boiling water into the bottom of the pan and cover with a tent of tin foil. Bake for an hour at 350 degrees. Open a bottle of wine and test for flavor. Test again.

For the sauce, Studley starts with a bottle of hickory-smoked BBQ sauce and one flat beer in a sauce pan. (To make beer flat, leave a bottle open for several hours or heat it 20 seconds in the microwave.) Add two cubes of butter (yes, he is a true Southerner), and some Montreal Steak Seasoning and some garlic salt. Simmer for about 40 minutes. (This sauce would make horse manure taste great.) While it simmers, share some beer and/or wine with your guests. Then throw the steamed ribs on the BBQ, slather with plenty of sauce, and wait about 10 minutes for the magic to happen. Share more beer and wine. Round up the grandkids.

bbq ribs cabin 14

Serve with salads, fruit, veggies, rolls and more butter, and lots of paper towels. These ribs pair nicely with cold Miller Lite Beer and several bottles of bold Cabernet. End the meal with some pie and brownies. Then sit around, rub your full bellies, and offer toasts to world peace.

family dinner cabin 14

Our family BBQs end with hugs, laughter, and promises to get together soon. My hope is that the grandchildren will grow up in a more civilized society where people can share good food instead of bullets. As for my choices, I’ll vote for the candidates who most fervently believe in the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all (women and) men are created equal, and they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Hear, hear!

For Peace and Clarity, Go Hang a Banana

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(Featured on The Huffington Post Fifty on August 18, 2015.)

peace

The world is smoldering toward catastrophic self-destruction, so it’s only sensible that I take a brief moment of clarity to offer this lovely tidbit of advice before the final tragic calamity ignites the end of civilization.

If you want to appreciate form and function, escape chaos and crisis, and experience inner peace, you should hang a banana.

I’ve survived more than half a century on this magnificent planet and only yesterday purchased a banana holder. This is not just any ordinary device; it’s a 3-piece banana hook with fruit basket! And, it came with illustrated instructions! Heaven forbid a confused consumer would tote it home and not know how to assemble the complicated design.

“Help me, Walter. Does the bowl go over or under the hook?”

“Lemme study the picture on the box, Marge. I hope this contraption came with directions.”

The 3-piece banana hook wasn’t on my Costco list, but who could resist? I wanted it.

On my way to the back of the store to get my quarterly supply of 50 rolls of toilet paper, I noticed the box on the end of the aisle. The photo displayed ripe, firm bananas perfectly poised over a bowl of tempting green apples supported and enhanced with a gleaming silver hook and coordinated basket. I spontaneously added it to the cart, along with the tub of chocolate-covered almonds (also not on the list.)

I balanced my new treasures with the massive supply of toilet paper, a calf-sized pack of paper towels, and a year’s supply of detergent while I maneuvered my way through the aisles, stopping periodically to sample the bland but free samples of food. I avoided the book section because I have been known to spend hours reading through selections while family-reunion-size boxes of frozen appetizers melt in the aisle.

After paying the zombie checkout guy, I toured the vast parking lot looking for my car. I finally resorted to clicking my key alarm and eventually found it. I scurried home to assemble my new banana holder and proudly placed it on the kitchen counter. I carefully hung my bananas at the angle shown in the photograph. They seemed to be happy and perky in their appropriate position. Today, I’ll visit the local farmer’s market and buy some green apples.

For a brief but delightful moment in time, I won’t watch or read the news, and I won’t worry about all the crap happening throughout the world.

2015-08-15-1439659033-2857173-fruitbananabasket.jpg
Instead, I’ll make a cup of tea in the morning and open a bottle of wine in the afternoon and stare at my banana holder. That’s about all I can control right now. And if other stressed people come to my door, I’ll welcome them inside and we will gaze at the wonderful invention and smile at the balance, order, and symmetry of the simple design. Then, only after we feel at peace, we’ll eat the bananas, apples and chocolate almonds, open another bottle of wine, and sing songs of courage and glory. All will be well, thanks to my new banana hook. With a fruit basket.

Midlife Cabernet: Go Hang a Banana

By

wine hook

The world is smoldering toward catastrophic self-destruction, so it’s only sensible that I take a brief moment of clarity to offer this lovely tidbit of advice before the final tragic calamity ignites the end of civilization. If you want to appreciate form and function, escape chaos and crisis, and experience inner peace, you should hang a banana.

I’ve survived more than half a century on this magnificent planet and only yesterday purchased a banana holder. This is not just any ordinary device; it’s a 3-piece banana hook with fruit basket! And, it came with illustrated instructions! Heaven forbid a confused consumer would tote it home and not know how to assemble the complicated design.

“Help me, Walter. Does the bowl go over or under the hook?”

“Lemme study the picture on the box, Marge. I hope this contraption came with directions.”

The 3-piece banana hook wasn’t on my Costco list, but who could resist? I wanted it. On my way to the back of the store to get my quarterly supply of 50 rolls of toilet paper, I noticed the box on the end of the aisle. The photo displayed ripe, firm bananas perfectly poised over a bowl of tempting green apples supported and enhanced with a gleaming silver hook and coordinated basket. I spontaneously added it to the cart, along with the tub of chocolate-covered almonds (also not on the list.)

I balanced my new treasures with the massive supply of toilet paper, a calf-sized pack of paper towels, and a year’s supply of detergent while I maneuvered my way through the aisles, stopping periodically to sample the bland but free samples of food. I avoided the book section because I have been known to spend hours reading through selections while family-reunion-size boxes of frozen appetizers melt in the aisle.

After paying the zombie checkout guy, I toured the vast parking lot looking for my car. I finally resorted to clicking my key alarm and eventually found it. I scurried home to assemble my new banana holder and proudly placed it on the kitchen counter. I carefully hung my bananas at the angle shown in the photograph. They seemed to be happy and perky in their appropriate position. Today, I’ll visit the local farmer’s market and buy some green apples.

For a brief but delightful moment in time, I won’t watch or read the news, and I won’t worry about all the crap happening throughout the world. Instead, I’ll make a cup of tea in the morning and open a bottle of wine in the afternoon and stare at my banana holder. That’s about all I can control right now. And if other stressed people come to my door, I’ll welcome them inside and we will gaze at the wonderful invention and smile at the balance, order, and symmetry of the simple design. Then, only after we feel at peace, we’ll eat the bananas, apples and chocolate almonds, open another bottle of wine, and sing songs of courage and glory. All will be well, thanks to my new banana hook. With a fruit basket.

 

 

 

 

 

Midlife Cabernet: What if You had Two Wishes that could Come True?

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If a magic fairy or a genie in a bottle or a gaggle of clever leprechauns (I’m not picky) suddenly decided to grant me two wishes, I would grab the opportunity with gusto and proudly announce my choices. The first would be selfish and shallow. The second would change the world into a better place.

My first choice is to be the girl from Ipanema. Yes, the one in the song who is “tall and tan and young and lovely.” That’s because I’m just above average height, pasty pale, old as dirt, and lovely only in low light and after copious quantities of hard liquor. I want to stroll the beach with flair and countenance and have Sinatra sing about me. Is that asking too much?

Sinatra sang the song best: “When she walks, she’s like a samba that swings so cool and sways so gentle that when she passes, each one she passes goes – Ah…” Yes, I want to be her. But, I also get to keep my current husband, children, and grandchildren. It’s my fantasy so I can decree what I want to happen.

My second wish is for world peace. Yes, I said that without being a contestant in a beauty pageant. I’m weary of all the fighting and endless wars. People in the Middle East are still mad because one of their neighbor’s ancestors stole a goat 500 years ago. And other factions in other parts of the world murder people because they don’t believe in their god of the month. Give me a break. At the risk of sounding like a hopeless dreamer, all I ask is that people give peace a chance.

My two wishes probably won’t come true. I can’t be the fictional girl from Ipanema but I can buy a sundress, get a spray tan, and sashay around the block at twilight. I might not be able to instigate world peace, but I can bring a pie to a sick neighbor or help a local volunteer group with a worthy project or donate to a peaceful charity. All it takes is that one step – and we’ll move together like a samba that swings so cool and sways so gentle.

What would be your two wishes?
– See more at: http://www.test.elaineambrose.com/blog/midlife-cabernet-what-if-you-had-two-wishes-could-come-true#sthash.Re2Qm3iD.dpuf