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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#travel

Yes, I Will Fly Again

July 19, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

yeti airlines nepal (3)

Civilized people are shocked at the reports of the intentional murders of the passengers and crew of Malaysian Airlines Flight 17. What was gained from the evil attack? What admirable show of force was accomplished through causing the naked body of a dead women to fall through a peasant’s roof? Is this all part of an orchestrated, wicked plan to start the final world war?

I don’t have any answers to those questions, but I know this vile act by assassins will not prevent me from flying on airplanes. It’s also dangerous to drive during rush hour traffic in the city or next to a carload of zombies texting and/or drinking. If I want to go from one destination to the other, I know I’m not getting any younger and there is no time to waste. I’ll book a flight.

My most memorable flight was on Yeti Airlines, the “Premiere Airline of Nepal.” I have a photo that shows me praying before I get on the plane. Actually, I say a prayer every time I fly, and the prayer is that the landings equal the takeoffs. I was with a group of travelers flying from Kathmandu, Nepal to a safari in a tented camp. The pilot of the tiny airplane allowed us to come into the cockpit and take photographs of the Himalayas as we flew past. I’ll never forget the breathtaking sight.

I have rich and grand experiences of traveling in airplanes. My father owned a Bonanza four-seater so he could fly between his businesses in several western states. If the family came along, my job was to move the blocks from behind the wheels before we got in. The most important rule: Don’t walk near the turning propeller. I obeyed that rule. I recall one fateful afternoon when he flew the family to California and the extreme turbulence made all of us vomit. My mother used her purse as the barf bag. The last time my father flew solo, his appendix burst but he still managed to land the plane.

Writing feature articles for various magazines allowed me to experience some perilous flights. To report on a white water rafting expedition on the Salmon River, I was a passenger on the mail plane that landed on a mountain pasture the size of my back yard. The pilot blasted an air horn so the deer would get out of the way. For a story on the local Air Force squadron, I rode in a massive KC-135 and watched from the “bubble” as the tanker conducted an in-flight refueling mission at 30,000 feet. I could see the eyes of the pilot in the jet below us.

I’m flying again next week to attend the BlogHer conference in California. And, in November I’m looking forward to an overseas trip to Spain with my husband, daughter, and son-in-law. There are no guarantees in life, so we’ll take our chances. I’m grateful for the traveling opportunities and the extraordinary experiences that have enriched my life and allowed me to travel beyond my hometown of Wendell, Idaho. And if a future landing doesn’t equal the takeoff, I’ll be dead. But my spirit will be in a better place than the afterlife waiting for the murderers who shot down Flight 17.

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #Flight17, #midlife, #travel

Midlife Cabernet: Susie Sells Timeshares by the Seashore

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Idaho is a splendid state, but the winters can get long, cold, and dark. The Boise area suffers from the Blanket of Doom, an inversion of low clouds that oppresses and depresses even the most hearty residents. Late January is the perfect time to take a day trip into the mountains or go south before you turn into Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie The Shining.

Just to be safe, I locked up the hatchet and installed sun lights in every room. Then I booked a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. In only five hours we flew from Boise, 25 degrees and snowing, to Cabo, 85 degrees and blue sky. We felt as if we had crawled out of a sad tunnel into a non-stop fiesta, complete with warm sand beneath our bare toes and tangy margaritas in our spray-tanned hands.

At the resort I noticed even more timeshare salespeople than usual. They were everywhere promising a gourmet lunch and tempting us with free activities if we attended a brief meeting. We wanted the free golf passes so we agreed to listen to the latest spiel. Susie, our client relations specialist, could teach corporations how to successfully market and sell any product by using high pressure tactics with a saucy splash of charm. She instantly identified and focused on hot buttons: my jewelry, Studley’s business acumen, our love of family. Still, we didn’t fall for the pitch. We just wanted to golf.

Finally, the manager came over to sweeten the deal. We refused to buy. Other couples were beaten down into signing contracts and so balloons were popped and the room erupted with the sounds of applause. Another middle-aged couple at the next table was starting to fold. I thought Susie was going to cry. She had wasted two hours trying to convince us that buying additional points on our timeshare would bring us everlasting happiness and probably clear the inversion in Boise.

We took our golf passes and slinked out of the room. I started to feel sorry for her, but as we were walking through the lobby to go golf, I saw her with a new targeted couple. She was complimenting the woman on her jewelry.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #midlife, #timeshare, #travel

Midlife Cabernet: Enjoy a Family Vacation without Drama or Trauma

April 21, 2014 By Elaine Ambrose

Cabo family beachYou’ve seen the advertisements that feature glossy photos of deliriously happy families laughing together on vacation. Keep in mind that these people are paid strangers and will never see each other again. For a sobering reality check, remember that a high number of shootings and stabbings occur during family holiday events. Plan wisely.

We recently returned from the best family vacation of my entire long and well-traveled life. There were eleven people, including my two children and their spouses, their five giggling little girls, Studley and me. We were like a football team but without the private jet. Our mission was to leave the country, have a splendid time, and return alive. Touchdown and score!

Here are some key points to consider when attempting a family vacation:

  1. Plan ahead. We made reservations for hotel and airline tickets seven months in advance. Even with advance planning, we were all scrambling to get packed a few hours before departure.
  2. Get or update passports if you’re leaving the country. One dilemma: my son and his wife had a new baby but she still needed a passport. The rules state that no one else can be in the passport photo so he had to hold up her tiny body with one hand. She looks like a puppet on a stick, and that passport is good for five years.
  3. Pack lightly. Studley and I just roll up hand-washable clothes and travel with carryon bags only. Of course, parents with kids need twenty extra pieces of luggage just for diapers and electronic gear. Traveling light is just another advantage of being older.
  4. Include workout shoes and clothes. Most hotels have gyms so you can exercise before and after enjoying insane quantities of piña coladas and nachos. And walking in the sand along the beach really tones those legs as you head to town for some coconut gelato.
  5. Do you own activities. Studley and I left to golf one day and we rode horses on the beach another day. The adults shared babysitting duties so each couple could relax without bringing a pacifier or an animated puppet show. Then we all got together for meals and playing on the beach.
  6. Get professional photographs. It sounds cheesy, but the resorts do a good job of organizing family photographs. We’re pleased with the results because our phones just don’t take quality photos.
  7. There will be some drama. At any given time, at least one of the five children was crying, pouting, or attempting to run away. But after a few margaritas the adults didn’t care.
  8. One important rule of life: Enjoy the beauty of where you are. We stayed at a lovely resort on the beach in Cabo, Mexico. A week later, I can still hear the laughter of my granddaughters playing in the waves, feel the motion of the ocean, taste the delicious fresh sea bass dinner, and visualize the full moon reflecting over the water. Savor those memories, and use them as a catalyst for planning the next trip.

During my childhood, we had one family vacation. My parents took their three children to Disneyland but they couldn’t tolerate the crowds so we left early and drove non-stop home to Idaho. I’ve always felt cheated, until last week. We had an amazing time, and I’m grateful.

Today’s blog was fueled by a 2010 Decoy Zinfandel from Duckhorn Wine Company in Sonoma County. Have several bottles on hand to celebrate the beauty of life. It’s $38 a bottle at Crush Wine Bar in Eagle – but only $32 if you join the wine club. Of course, I did.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #family vacation, #Mexico, #travel

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