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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Elaine Ambrose

How to Manage Emotions when Narrating Your Audiobook

July 11, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

My publisher Brown Books Publishing sold the audio rights to my memoir Frozen Dinners. I’m excited to travel to Mosaic Audio, a professional VIP recording studio near Los Angeles, for a week to read the 55,000-word manuscript. However, I can’t make it through Chapter 11 without crying. Here are the first two paragraphs of that chapter:

Chapter 11
The Book of Leona

“My mother was dying. Her breathing had changed over the past few days; irregular, pausing only to alarm us, then continuing with a raspy rattle. My daughter and I sat beside her bed and held her hand, limp and translucent, as Tennessee Ernie Ford sang about peace in the valley. Gentle hospice workers came silently during her last week to shift her body and dab a damp sponge on her lips. Though they didn’t know her, they treated her with the dignity and grace she deserved.

Outside her room at the assisted living facility, other residents shuffled by, some with walkers, as silent sentinels in the last act of the drama of life. After 87 years, my mother’s body and mind were gone, except for her strong heart. We could do nothing but wait.”

I’ve recorded two other books through Drew Allen Brown in Nampa, Idaho. The first audio recording was for my nonfiction humorous book, Midlife Happy Hour. He taught me how to slow my reading and not to giggle too much. This book was easy to narrate because the stories highlighted amusing anecdotes with friends and included my humorous mishaps.

The second audiobook was my children’s book, Gators & Taters. We had fun with the stories, and I imagined children listening to the narration and following along with the book. Three of the seven stories are in perfect rhyme, and I enjoyed managing the cadence of my reading with the rhythm of the verses. Several of the stories were ones I once told my children, and their names are in the book. Drew helped me upload the two audiobooks to ACX and Audible.com.

I contacted him after I started to practice Frozen Dinners and explained how I struggled with the chapter about my mother. He rearranged his schedule and invited me to read at his studio. We focused on professional projection and discussed how to tone down personal emotions. I returned home to practice his techniques and added a few of my own ideas: toys. I placed finger puppets, a miniature potato head man, a monkey in a car, and clown glasses next to the manuscript as I read. Those props made me smile and helped soothe the angst of the story about my mother’s death.

Mosaic Audio Studio

The Future of Audiobooks

Recording audiobooks can generate a nice income for those who enjoy reading their books and books written by other authors. There are several sites that ask for auditions. I’ll make a four-figure profit from recording Frozen Dinners.

Between 2012 and 2016 the number of audiobook units sold in the USA more than doubled! In 2012, 42.02 million units were sold and in 2016, 89.56 million units were shifted from the digital shelves.

Drew has written a book about how to read an audiobook. Here are some of his tips:

1. Hydrate before recording. Drink more water than normal for a week before going to the studio.
2. Eat before recording. We had to stop once because my stomach was growling.
3. Practice in front of a mirror. Use the record feature on your smart phone to record portions to play back. Most people are surprised at the sound of their voice. Practice wearing headphones that cover your ears.
4. On the day of the recording, avoid any milk or daily products because they coat the throat.
5. Take a dry toothbrush to the studio. During breaks, brush the top of your mouth and inside your cheeks. Those who drink coffee and wine (guilty!) have a tendency to secrete mucus inside their mouth and that causes a “clicking” sound in the microphone.
6. Wear loose, comfortable clothes that don’t bind your torso. Don’t wear dangly jewelry, and bring reading glasses, if necessary. Sit still while reading, and don’t fidget.
7. Use your personality, don’t talk too fast, and allow the listener to regard you as a friend telling a story. Know the correct pronunciation of names, towns, and places.
8. When reading an emotional passage, include a humorous prop as a distraction. If your voice cracks, the technicians will stop recording and you’ll need to start over. You should be able to complete a 5,000-word chapter in an hour.
9. Drink water at every break. Apply lip gloss if your lips are getting dry.
10. When reading an emotional passage, bring the people to life. My memoir quotes my mother several time, so I practiced using her inflections and personality. Then I glanced at the finger puppet and smiled.

One more piece of advice: listen to audiobooks. Critique the style and tempo of the narrator and emulate how they bring the story to life. Then imagine thousands of people listening to you read as they drive across the country, go to work, or relax on their patios. Literally, your audiobook is one in a million.

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: audiobook, Brown Books Publishing, Frozen Dinners, Mosaic Audio, narrate

My Prolapsed Bladder is a Winner

June 30, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

http://www.columnists.com/2019/06/and-the-2019-columnist-contest-winners-are/

The National Society of Newspaper Columnists and Bloggers (NSNC) recently announced the winners of the annual writing contest, and two of my blog posts won third place in the humor category. I write about serious stories that are relevant to most women sliding down the backside of midlife: the empty nest and a prolapsed bladder.

https://elaineambrose.com/blog/can-midlife-marriage-survive-a-prolapsed-bladder/

https://elaineambrose.com/blog/does-the-parade-end-at-the-empy-nest/

Enjoy the blog posts and know that the parade doesn’t end at the empty nest, and midlife marriage can survive a prolapsed bladder. Thanks, NSNC, for the award.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Commencement Address at College of Southern Idaho

May 24, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

I was asked to republish the video from my commencement address at CSI. Here it is:

https://youtu.be/nFdW4TishEQ

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #college, #CollegeofSouthernIdaho, #commencement, #graduation

How to Communicate in 20 Seconds

May 23, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

Letter writing is a lost art.

Do you write letters? Two generations ago, letters were written using elegant calligraphy on delicate parchment paper, carefully addressed, stamped, sealed with a personalized wax stamp, and mailed. Letters were delivered weeks or months later to the intended recipients.

One generation ago, AOL introduced the popularity of emails with the automated voice in “You’ve Got Mail.” Now, we can type a few abbreviated words into a smart phone and send an instant text to anyone almost anywhere. There is no need for pen, paper, post office, or proof of personality.

In an effort to unite brevity with substance, I’m writing a 200-word post to offer a suggestion for effective communication through quick texting. (Recorded sales calls are blocked from this idea.)

It takes less than 20 seconds to tweet one of these phrases:

“I love you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for your kindness.”
“How are you?”
“You are so talented.”
“Do you want to meet for stories and laughter?”

These short, grammatically correct comments could bring happiness to the recipient. A 20-second text also could lead to a personal meeting where people actually look at each other and talk in complete sentences. Can you imagine?

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #amwriting, #email, #texting, communication

Mother at the Door

May 19, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

Mom at the door of the house in Wendell

Today would have been my mother’s 92nd birthday. She died in 2014, lost in dementia and crippled with physical and mental pain. As she was dying, I played Tennessee Ernie Ford singing about “Peace in the Valley,” and I wept for the loss.

Starting when I was in high school, she always stood at the front door whenever I left. She would wave until I was out of sight. This continued for several decades until she was confined to a wheelchair. Then she would roll her chair to the window and watch for me to come. After she was no longer mobile, she would hold onto my hand and beg me to stay longer. I should have stayed.


We had opposite personalities and aspirations. She was shy and insecure. I was noisy and confident. She was subservient to my father and assumed her status without complaint. I didn’t want to take that role, so I didn’t. She was so unsure of herself in public, she had trouble ordering from a menu and usually got what I ordered. After dad’s death, she gave money to her children and charities until there was nothing left to give. I have learned the hard way to say no to those who take and ask for more. I did continue her tradition of standing at the door for my children. I waved and flashed the lights until they were out of sight.

Even though Mom and I were not alike, we still loved and respected each other. She would attend my speeches and performances and sit near the front. I organized birthday parties for her and wrote her Christmas letters. In the final years of her life, I drove her to doctor’s appointments and wrangled her wheelchair, helped make her the guest of honor at family celebrations, and moved her several times after various stays in rehabilitation facilities. I wrote our names on family photographs as she began to forget us. At the end, as I sang to her, she slipped into a coma and stopped holding my hand.


No one stands at the door anymore, and I usually drive away and don’t look back. But I often have a fleeting image of my mother, smiling and walking in peace through a valley. She’s waving at me.

Mom loved Doris Day. Here’s an excerpt of me playing “Que Será, Será.” Happy Birthday, Mom.

https://elaineambrose.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/joined_video_a2718c383b3e4e70996d9fc12ecc3b44.mp4

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #dementia, #grief, #mothers, #parenthood, #respect, #TennesseeErnieFord

Smorgasbord Post from D. G. Kaye – Sunday Book Review – Midlife Cabernet by Elaine Ambrose

May 17, 2019 By Elaine Ambrose

midlife cabernet cover 2 medal (1)

via Smorgasbord Post from Your Arcives – #PotLuck – D. G. Kaye – Sunday Book Review – Midlife Cabernet by Elaine Ambrose

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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