Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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#NaBloPoMo

My Five Truths and One Lie

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NaBloPoMo_November

I’m participating in NaBloPoMo, a writing exercise that involves writing a blog every day for the month of November. Yesterday a sassy group of midlife women bloggers wrote five facts and one lie about their lives and we had to guess which comment was the lie. Here are my comments and the revealed lie:

  1. I rode on a bull elephant in a jungle in Nepal and witnessed a tiger kill a water buffalo. True. Here I am on the back of a huge elephant as we departed the safari camp to wander through the jungle. The next shot is of the tiger stalking his prey. Then the dust, screams, shaking elephant, and commotion caused the camera to jerk around, but we captured a few shots. The long-time directors of the camp were amazed because they had never seen a live kill.

tiger kill nepal 2000

2. I floated down the Nile to visit the ancient Temple of Luxor. True. Here I am at the Luxor Temple pointing out a well-endowed Egyptian warrior chiseled in hard stone when the temple was manually erected thousands of years ago. The observation was for historical reference only.

elaine luixor temple

  1. I love beer and ‘brats after a day of fishing. False. I prefer wine, chocolate, and a day of boating.
  1. I sang in the American Cathedral in Paris. True. I sang with a concert choir from the University of Idaho and we toured Europe in 1971. The last performance was in the American Cathedral in Paris, and the sound was so acoustically perfect that we sobbed like babies. The trip changed my life.

elaine paris ui 71

  1. I rode my horse in the barrel race at the Gooding County Fair and Rodeo. True. There aren’t any photos, so you’ll need to trust me. It happened before the invention of cameras, almost. My short story about barrel racing appeared in an anthology titled The Dog with the Old Soul, published by Harlequin.
  1. I can write forward and backwards using two hands while singing in Latin. True. This photo was taken in a quaint café in Sienna, Italy. I am writing backwards with my left hand and forward with my right hand while singing in Latin. I get free drinks in bars with that exceptional talent.

elaine sing sienna crop

Those are five interesting facts and one lie about me. My life continues to be one grand adventure after another. Except for the fishing. I don’t fish.

 

 

Truth with Some Consequencees

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NaBloPoMo_November

I can creatively transform the truth when necessary, and I suspect many of us are guilty of telling little white lies:

“Oh, yes, you have the most beautiful baby in the world!”

“Thank you for the gift of porcelain, laughing frogs. I’ll treasure them forever.”

“Leaving so soon? We must visit again sometime.”

I’ve told door-to-door missionaries that I suddenly have a bout of explosive diarrhea. That really works, and they skedaddle quickly. And, I’ve never changed my weight on my driver’s license, so I haven’t gained a pound in more than 40 years. Score!

I’m participating in NaBloPoMo, a writing exercise that involves writing a blog every day for the month of November. I’m joining a group of midlife women who are blogging today about their lives, only they are including six comments and one is a lie. I’m not comfortable telling a lie to friends, but in the spirit of the game, this is my contribution.

Here are six comments about me. Five are true and one is not. Which one is the lie?

  1. I rode on a bull elephant in a jungle in Nepal and witnessed a tiger kill a water buffalo.
  2. I floated down the Nile to visit the ancient Temple of Luxor.
  3. I love beer and ‘brats after a day of fishing.
  4. I sang in the American Cathedral in Paris.
  5. I rode my horse in the barrel race at the Gooding County Fair and Rodeo.
  6. I can write forward and backwards using two hands while singing in Latin.

I was going to write that I won a graceful, debutante competition at a fancy cotillion and I wore six-inch heels and waltzed the night away, but that would be too easy to spot as an outrageous fabrication with no resemblance to truth. The consequence of that statement would be that no one could keep a straight face when contemplating such an outrageous scenario. The real lie will be exposed in tomorrow’s blog.