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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Best of Treasure Valley 2016 Author

June 17, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

Best of Treasure Valley Ad - True Final

 

Pulitzer Prize Winner Anthony Doerr and Statesman Writer Tim Woodward have won the top two spots for the past several years in the author category for the “Best of Treasure Valley” reader’s choice program sponsored by The Idaho Statesman. I’m happy as a pig in warm mud to get third place this year. Thanks to those who voted!

Filed Under: blog

Don’t Vomit on a US Senator

June 10, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

 

sen orval hansen 1972

“Have you ever been on live television before?” the KMVT-TV news director asked.

“Yes,” I answered. It wasn’t a lie. When I was five years old I had been a guest on the children’s show on KMVT with the host named Happy Holly. In college, I had concentrated on print journalism and had taken only one required class in Radio-Television but had never participated in a live interview or telecast.

I had just graduated from the University of Idaho, my mother was worried that I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was worried I didn’t have a job. I decided employment was the more important issue.

I drove to the station in Twin Falls and asked for a job that didn’t exist. At the time, I was full of young naivety that I could do anything. The news team and the station manager asked me to read for the camera, and I performed as if I knew what I was doing. That day I was offered a full-time job at $450 a month with a raise in three months. With that, I became Idaho’s first female television news reporter and talk show hostess. It was 1973, and I was 21 years old.

The station in Twin Falls provided the only television channel in southern Idaho, and the nightly newscast attracted more than 30,000 avid viewers. Twin Falls was not a major market, but it was my start in business and my first full-time job. I loved it.

KMVT 73
KMVT-TV News Crew, 1973-1974

Only one month after college graduation I was holding a microphone and interviewing Idaho Senator Frank Church. Another time, I interviewed Congressman Orval Hansen on the steps of the nation’s capital. For the first time in my life, my parents no longer referred to me as the Problem Child. Instead, I became the television personality they personally had molded and supported from birth. The blinking red light on the top of the live studio camera became intoxicating with its access into homes and businesses I would never see.

I learned on the job how to load film into the camera, set it on a tripod, rush in front to interview a guest, then turn off the camera, drive back to the station, develop the film in the dark room in the basement, write the script, and deliver the news live on the air. I scoff now like a crusty curmudgeon when I see elaborate news teams with multiple employees dashing about performing tasks I did alone.

senator mcclure elaine 1972

One harrowing news assignment still makes me queasy. I traveled in a helicopter with Senator James McClure, a nationally recognized leader in energy and natural resources. Our job was to tour wilderness areas in western Idaho in support of the senator’s campaign to preserve the Hells Canyon Recreation Area. In addition to interviewing the senator, I also filmed the excursion with an old Bolex camera using black-and-white film. I had no formal training in filming, but had learned by watching the other newsmen. As the helicopter took off and rose straight up, I pointed my camera out the window and began filming.

That’s when I learned about vertigo and nausea. The erratic motions of the helicopter combined with the focus on filming made me nauseous. I blinked back tears and swallowed hard to quell the disruption from my stomach. Suddenly the helicopter lurched and I lost my composure and my lunch. A ghastly stream of soupy vomit spewed from my mouth onto the senator’s expensive trousers. For one brief but terrifying moment, our eyes met and there was no affection between us. Only puke.

“Throw me out,” I begged, dropping the camera and wiping my mouth with the skirt of my favorite blue dress.

The senator and his assistant grabbed some tissue paper and attempted to clean up the mess. The co-pilot tossed back a towel and I buried my face, wondering if I should play dead. The stench in the small craft became overpowering, and I vaguely remember hearing the pilot announce that we needed to head back. It seemed to take five years to return to the airport.

I rushed to my car and drove to my apartment where I threw away the dress, climbed into the shower, and tried to wash away the evidence of being a loser. Vomiting on a United States Senator was not included in my job description. I returned to the television station without the camera or my pride.

Years later, Senator McClure and I became good friends. He excused my outrageous conduct and said he’d seen worse behavior in Congress. He also joked that I’d given new meaning to his memory of Hells Canyon.

Those early days of television provided the opportunity to meet many important people, from the Sheepman of the Year to volunteers trying to improve living conditions for local migrant workers. The politicians came and went away, but I’ll always remember Senators Church and McClure. They were from opposing political parties, but they worked together on important issues. Their example of leadership and statesmanship doesn’t exist anymore, and that’s a national tragedy. Maybe we should return to the days when our elected leaders weren’t afraid to get dirt on their shoes and puke on their clothes as they worked to preserve the land and save the country. I’d volunteer to go along on that ride, with a baggie.

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #University of Idaho, Congressman Orval Hansen, KMVT-TV, Senator Frank Church, Senator James McClure, vertigo, working women

Online Laughter Interview Wednesday on “Flourishing 50s”

May 17, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

flourish 50 interview ad

I met Kim Acedo at the recent Bloggers at Midlife Conference in Las Vegas and we became best friends. She told me about her online business called “Flourishing 50s,” a community of like-minded and like-hearted women in their 50’s who are committed to learning and growing through focusing on maintaining healthy physical, mental, and emotional lives.  The group also has an emphasis on educating women and girls around the world.

She asked me to share a live interview with her, so we’ve scheduled Wednesday, May 18 at 7:00 pm Mountain Standard Time. I’ll be speaking about humor and why it’s better to laugh than break something. To hear the interview and participate in the regular, empowering activities of the group, you can join them for $17 a month. Find more information at Membership.

Kim is offering a discount for membership if you download her “Transformation Daily 10 Checklist” here: Transformation Wellness.

 

Flourishing50s_header

Kim has a Master’s degree in Kinesiology, is a Certified Health & Wellness Coach, and is the owner of Transformation Wellness for Women where she works with her clients virtually in the comfort of their own home or office. She partners with women in their 50’s who are ready, willing and able to make a healthy change in their lives and coaches them toward improving their lifestyle habits so that they can live a healthier and happier life.

Kim_headshot-200x300

 

“I believe that a healthy life is a life you’ll love,” says Kim. “I have been advising women in midlife on their health and wellness since 2000. Working exclusively with women in their 50’s, I specialize in coaching my clients to live their best life through a physical, mental, and emotional transformation. With a background in fitness, nutrition, and wellness coaching, I partner with my clients to discover new ways to improve their Sleep, Food, Mood, and Exercise habits.”

I’ve joined the group, and I look forward to the activities and educational exchanges. It’s never too late to learn new ideas and make new friends.

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #health, #humor, #midlife, #wellness, 50, flourishing 50s, interview

World Peace BBQ Ribs

May 16, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

ken ribs cabin 14

The adults at our recent family BBQ will cancel each other’s votes in the next presidential election. Yet we were all able to come together and eschew politics to chew on the best ribs in the whole world. And no one was offended, criticized, or shot – and that’s always a goal at my dinner parties.

When my mother was still here, she would take her place at the table and repeat her irritation that Barry Goldwater lost the 1964 presidential election to Lyndon Johnson who subsequently destroyed the country with his socialist programs. But she gobbled up the ribs and laughed along with her granddaughter, a fan of President Obama. Another family member had marched in liberal parades yet happily dined with two conservative, gun-toting police officers. By the end of the feast, nine racks of ribs were gone and 16 people were happy with life and at peace with the universe. It’s too bad people in the Middle East don’t eat pork because these ribs could save a lot of unnecessary warfare.

I believe that Studley and I make the best ribs ever. The secret is in my rub and steaming technique and in his Texas-style sauce. Here’s our recipe that is guaranteed to delight taste buds of all ages and pacify any political pomposity:

ribs

World Peace BBQ Ribs

Place a few racks of pork baby back ribs on a rack over a broiler pan.

Create a rub of equal parts grated lemon rind, grated fresh ginger, and lots of pressed fresh garlic. Pat the paste on the ribs. (Save the lemons for iced tea or water.)

Pour boiling water into the bottom of the pan and cover with a tent of tin foil. Bake for an hour at 350 degrees. Open a bottle of wine and test for flavor. Test again.

For the sauce, Studley starts with a bottle of hickory-smoked BBQ sauce and one flat beer in a sauce pan. (To make beer flat, leave a bottle open for several hours or heat it 20 seconds in the microwave.) Add two cubes of butter (yes, he is a true Southerner), and some Montreal Steak Seasoning and some garlic salt. Simmer for about 40 minutes. (This sauce would make horse manure taste great.) While it simmers, share some beer and/or wine with your guests. Then throw the steamed ribs on the BBQ, slather with plenty of sauce, and wait about 10 minutes for the magic to happen. Share more beer and wine. Round up the grandkids.

bbq ribs cabin 14

Serve with salads, fruit, veggies, rolls and more butter, and lots of paper towels. These ribs pair nicely with cold Miller Lite Beer and several bottles of bold Cabernet. End the meal with some pie and brownies. Then sit around, rub your full bellies, and offer toasts to world peace.

family dinner cabin 14

Our family BBQs end with hugs, laughter, and promises to get together soon. My hope is that the grandchildren will grow up in a more civilized society where people can share good food instead of bullets. As for my choices, I’ll vote for the candidates who most fervently believe in the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all (women and) men are created equal, and they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Hear, hear!

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #family, #peace, BBQ, candidates, elections, food

New Book Coming in October: Midlife Happy Hour

May 6, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

 happyhour_sketches_v3

New Offering from Brown Books Says Midlife is Worth Living Out Loud

“Midlife Happy Hour: Our Reward for Surviving Careers, Kids, and Chaos” Set for Fall Release

DALLAS (May 3, 2016) – Brown Books Publishing Group has signed celebrated #1 best-selling author, syndicated blogger, and humorist Elaine Ambrose to publish her newest book, Midlife Happy Hour: Our Reward for Surviving Careers, Kids, and Chaos.

“Middle-aged women need to reinvent their lives and celebrate parties in the empty nest,” Ambrose said. “They know if the glass is half empty, fill it fast and pass the cookies.”

Midlife Happy Hour is a collection of humorous essays and anecdotes that is Ambrose’s sequel to her #1 best-selling 2014 release of Midlife Cabernet touted by Publishers Weekly as “laugh-out-loud funny!”

With her Brown Books title, scheduled for October release, Ambrose boldly and hilariously pens her latest kiss-my-attitude book in order to share her irreverent advice. Readers will learn how to remain relevant when the world ignores them, why their children are cute but should grow up and move out, how to communicate with aging parents, and why it’s never too late to enjoy a passionate love life, but only with proper lighting.

Working women will relate to her humorous tales of surviving various jobs while raising children, wiping toddler snot off her fashionable business suits, and competing as a funny female in a serious, male market. She grew up on a potato farm outside the village of Wendell, Idaho, and became the state’s first female television news reporter, a manager in a Fortune 500 Corporation, and a magazine editor.

Ambrose received international acclaim when one of her humorous stories became one of the most-read posts in the history of The Huffington Post. Her viral essay was translated into six languages and published around the world. She has received multiple awards from the Independent Publisher Book Awards (IPPY) and ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards.

Other books by Ambrose include The Magic Potato, a bilingual children’s book that was approved for the statewide school curriculum. Her first collaboration was with New York Times bestselling author Joanne Kimes to write Menopause Sucks.

Ambrose delivers just the right recipe for laughter with Midlife Happy Hour.  Cheers to the readers who will laugh out loud!

For more information on Elaine Ambrose and Midlife Happy Hour, please visit: www.midlifehappyhour.com.

Media contact: Brian Briscoe, 972.248.9500, [email protected]

About Brown Books Publishing Group (BBPG)

Founded by Milli Brown in 1994, Brown Books Publishing Group is a full-service, independent publisher of high-quality books across all genres. Committed to producing award-winning books for authors who choose to retain the rights to their intellectual property, Brown Books publishes more than one hundred titles a year and has won numerous prestigious awards, including the Writer’s Digest Grand Prize, Mom’s Choice Award, Foreword Book of the Year, Gold Ink Award, Axiom Business Book Award and many more. Brown Books authors have appeared on programs and networks such as the “Today” show, Fox News, “Face the Nation,” CNN and BBC News. They have been featured in publications such as USA Today, Publishers Weekly, and The New York Times. In addition, BBPG authors have been guests on NPR programming, including “The Diane Rehm Show,” “Morning Edition” and “The Takeaway.” To learn more, visit www.BrownBooks.com and www.BrownBooksKids.com and www.BrownChristianPress.com.

 

About The Agency at Brown Books (ABB)

The Agency at Brown Books is a full-service public relations, marketing and branding firm within a publishing house. As a subsidiary of Brown Books Publishing Group, The Agency is backed by 20 years of excellence and experience, and the one-of-a-kind, integrated platform is available to Brown Books’ authors as well as to non-affiliated authors, established writers, entrepreneurs, CEOs and anyone seeking smarter strategies for building their business. For more information, visit www.TheAgencyAtBB.com.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #humor, #Midlife Cabernet, bestseller, Brown Books, Midife

Searching for Cheekbones

May 5, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

face injections

I never intended to have hyaluronic acid gel injected into my face, but the physician said he could smooth my nasolabial folds. I love it when a guy talks dirty to me.

“How do you know they need improvement?” I cooed.

“Those are your laugh lines around your mouth,” he answered. “You must laugh a lot.”

Well, yes I do. But I’ve earned every line on my face and I was hesitant to try to cover up the damage from six decades of living out loud. And the procedure involved needles. I hate needles.

I was a speaker at the recent Bloggers at Midlife Conference in Las Vegas, Nevada. The trade show featured demonstrations of Restylane® Lyft with Lidocaine from Galderma. A few women were chosen for the injections, and I obviously appeared to be the perfect “before” candidate. A team of goddess-faced professionals consulted me before showing the tray of syringes and gave me some literature to read.

As noted on the website, the FDA-approved procedure implants hyaluronic acid gel into the deep dermis to superficial subcutis to correct moderate to severe facial folds and wrinkles, such as nasolabial folds, and improve subcutaneous to supraperiosteal implantation for cheek augmentation and correction of age-related midface contour deficiencies in patients over the age of 21. Lucky for me, I was barely over 21.

The demonstration came at no cost, so I decided why not? Like a brave, wrinkled soldier, I assumed the position on the table.

“As long as we’re here, could you perform liposuction my entire body?” I asked.

“We don’t have enough time or big enough equipment,” he answered. What a joker.

The procedure took about 15 minutes. He injected the gel into the lines around my mouth, muttering that he was a great sculpture and I was his work of art. I felt more like a massive lump of pottery clay.

fat face

Then he injected the solution along my cheeks. I’ve been blessed with a round balloon face, so I’ve never seen my cheekbones. I assumed they were in there somewhere. After the injections, I could immediately see the definition on my face. A few more glasses of wine and I would look like Sophia Loren.

A few hours after the injections, I could see that my marionette puppet mouth was less hinged. I could pass for a glamorous 50-year-old. After age 60, it’s all relative.

I appreciate the complimentary lift, and it’s interesting to see the slight contours in my face. I’ve read that some women curtail their laughter so they won’t develop laugh lines. That’s a sacrifice I’m not willing to make. For now, I’ll keep laughing and see if the lines return. We’ll see how interesting my nasolabial folds can become.

 

 

Disclosure: I received the complimentary procedure in exchange for this serious, scholarly post on my blog.

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #midlife, bloggers, Galderma, injections, laugh lines, Restylane Lyft

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