Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Finding Focus and Fairies on a Pilgrimage to Ireland

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My Irish eyes are smiling. I’m returning to Ireland for 10 days in April to meet a group of women in Dublin and embark on an adventure through Wayfinding Women, an organization that provides empowering spiritual retreats for women seeking joy, authenticity, purpose, and adventure. Irish jigs and limericks will be included.

I’ll be leading a discussion about writing and will create prompts for journaling with an emphasis on, “Your Journey is Your Story.” Throughout the week, we’ll include time to write about our personal experiences as we distance ourselves from the clamor and chaos back home. One of our goals is to return refreshed and ready to use our talents to motivate positive results within ourselves, our families, and our communities.

Ann Hoffman-Ruffner, the creator of Wayfinding Women, has completed life coaching programs through Brene Brown and Martha Beck. She has thirty years’ experience in acute care psychiatry and is a community educator on mental health and suicide prevention. I know we’re going to be good friends because she also likes good food, wine, Irish folklore, and jazz.

There are no strangers here, only friends that have not yet met. — William Butler Yeats, distinguished Irish poet.

 

For the first half of the adventure, we’ll stay in a private castle in Tipperary, built in 1760. I intend to write a few tall tales in the castle. Then we’ll travel to whitewashed cottages located on a hidden sandy beach beside the sea. Activities include hiking, a boat ride beneath the Cliffs of Moher on a cruise to Aran Islands, and festive feasts with local cuisine. Back in Dublin on my own, I’ll find some museums and attend a jazz show at an  historic Dublin pub known as  Searson’s Bar.

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.  – Irish Proverb

 

During the week, Ann will introduce the group to local people who possess sacred ancient gifts and will share their incredible knowledge with the group. We’ll visit Glendalough and walk through one of the most ancient monastic cities remaining in Ireland. Our journey will take us to Neolithic passage tombs and the majesty of the Hill of Tara, seat for the high kings of Celtic Ireland.

Your feet will bring you where your heart is. – Irish Proverb

I visited Ireland 15 years ago and became enchanted with its beauty, mystery, music, and charm. This will be my first time in Dublin, and I might find traces of my distant relatives. All I know is that my most infamous kinfolk owned a tawdry pub next to the River Liffey. I find this easy to believe.

Also, I’m excited to return and search for that magical group of mischievous fairies that taunted me from behind the Hawthorn trees in the meadow. We have stories to finish.

May you live to be hundred years. With one extra year to repent! – Irish Blessing

 

 

Business Owners Should Write Reviews about Clients

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rental cabin

I own a cozy cabin in the central mountains of Idaho. To generate income to pay for expenses, I rent it through a professional property management company. Based on some of the negative reviews left on the company’s website, I’ve concluded that some renters shouldn’t travel without a therapist and a blankie.

elk at retreat

We named the cabin the Elk Mountain Retreat because herds of wild elk can be seen from the porch. Other meandering wildlife includes deer, turkeys, wolves, and coyotes, and eagles and other birds soar overhead. The isolated retreat is only an hour’s drive from Boise, and the area offers hiking and biking trails, cross-country ski trails, fishing, and a winter tubing hill. A natural stream runs along the property line, and the river is within walking distance. The cabin was built eight years ago and features hardwood floors, granite counter tops, three bathrooms, a stocked kitchen, air conditioning, gas fireplace, plush furniture, high-speed Internet, Dish TV, and beds for 10 people. Overnight rent starts at only $180 per night.
rental cabin interior 2

I schedule quarterly writing retreats at the cabin and all the writers think it’s a bit of paradise. Unfortunately, some people disagree. Here are some of the published complaints about the cabin along with the responses I wish I could write:

The screened porch is too hot. I’ve learned several useful skills, but controlling the outside temperature isn’t one of them.

The cabin is too far from the river. You can see the river from the front porch and it’s within a short walk. The rental information never indicated that the cabin in on the river. Please take your crying towel and go home.

The description claimed there was a stocked kitchen but there isn’t a pancake griddle! I’ve survived more than half a century using a frying pan for pancakes. We can never be friends if you gripe about a griddle.

rental cabin kitchen

The upstairs was so hot we had to drag the king-sized mattress down the stairs! Would you do this at a friend’s house or at a motel? You damaged the mattress, the walls, and the carpet on the stairs. Maybe don’t turn the air conditioner to 60 and run it constantly until it breaks. And, you’re in the mountains with abundant fresh, cool air. Open the windows!

There isn’t any salt and pepper! You poor delicate flower. Do you expect to find spices in your hotel rooms? You’re in a remote cabin in the mountains. You brought your own food so why not throw in some basic condiments? Maybe add Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass and reflect on self-sufficiency.

My deposit wasn’t refunded so I’m calling the media. Do you really think the media will care after I show photos of how your family trashed the place? The food you left under the couch was a nice touch, and I hope your rambunctious child enjoyed the children’s books and puzzles that are missing. Your cigarette butts on the porch prove you can’t read “No Smoking” rules, so please go sit in the corner, somewhere else.

I didn’t like the layout of the bedrooms. Just pack your belongings and go away.

rental cabin king room upstairs

I understand that renters could have legitimate issues, but that’s why there is a property management company. But, don’t call at 1:00 am and complain that it’s too hot when the outside temperature is 70 degrees. Go downstairs and turn on the television to watch a documentary about third world countries. Then call back in the morning and apologize.

Small businesses, especially restaurants and authors, can be seriously hurt by negative online reviews. I’ve authored twelve books listed on Amazon.com, and occasionally a negative review will provoke a sassy retort I quickly write but don’t publish. For example, the cover of my book Midlife Cabernet features a full wine glass on the front cover, a wine bottle on the back cover, and the stories include humorous tales of life with friends. The award-winning book has 352 written reviews with a total score of 4.1 stars out of a top score of five. One of the negative comments complained that the book contained too many references to wine. Who could have known?

Many times, people who write negative and nasty reviews are mad about other issues or have a vendetta against an employee or the owner. The companies have no way of responding to people who leave anonymous remarks. If customers and clients are compelled to leave a hostile comment about a company, a book, or a service, at least they should have a valid reason. Most business owners will negotiate a compromise or find a mutually acceptable resolution to a legitimate problem.

Based on a few negative reviews and significant damage done to my cabin, I’ve removed it from the rental market. Now I must get busy and schedule more writing retreats. At least any complaints will be well-written.

 

Melodies, Memories, and Writing to Music

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Albert_Anker_-_Schreibender_Knabe_mit_Schwesterchen

This weekend at a retreat, I’m conducting a workshop that invites participants to listen to various songs and then spontaneously write using the music as the only prompt. This muse always inspires creative results in a range of emotions from melancholy to stand-up-and-holler joyful.

I’ve used this technique to teach adults and school children. In my collection of vintage books, I have a copy of a children’s book from 1886 titled Please Tell Me A Tale. One story, “Under the Maypole”, has the following lines:

This Mayday morning they will plant the Maypole on the green,

And hang it round with cowslip wreaths and blue bells set between;

With starry thorn, with knotted fern, with chestnut blossoms tall,

And Phil, the bailiff’s son, will bring red roses from the Hall.”

Can’t you just imagine little Phil proudly bringing the roses? The book doesn’t have any illustrations, but children still love to listen to the lyrical stories and imagine the scenes.

I use this example in my writing class for local fourth grade students. Then I follow with an excerpt from a current bestselling children’s book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants. In this particular version, the children rearrange letters on a sign to read:

 Please Don’t Fart in a Diaper.”

Laughter ensues, but it causes me to doubt the evolution of children’s literature over the last 125 years.

To inspire the students to write, I play a variety of musical selections. We begin with “No Blue Thing” by Ray Lunch. I instruct the children to close their eyes, listen to the music, and then write anything that the music inspires. The responses always are delightful.

“I’m running through the tall grass through a cloud of butterflies,” is a typical comment.

Then I play “Circle of Life” from the Lion King Soundtrack. Their expressions change as their imaginations play with the music. We then discuss how the music prompted images and thoughts. They are instructed to write what they envision.

For the remainder of the class, I play a variety of other songs, but I always end with the same two selections. “Adagio for Strings” by Samual Barber typically elicits strong emotions, even among the teachers. Once at Garfield Elementary, after the song a shy, little boy in the back of the room timidly raised his hand. “I see blue tears flowing down my wall,” he said. “Write about that,” was my response. He seemed pleased.

The session ends with the “Hallelujah Chorus” from Handel’s Messiah. Often, most of the students will sit taller and smile wider as they listen with their eyes closed. The song prompts comments such as, “I fought the dragon, and I won!”

The class can be used for early grades, too. Even if children can’t yet write, they can talk. Many tell how the song helped them to remember happy or sad times. I’ve discovered that even though these children have less than 10 years of life, they have stories. Their responses are unfiltered and honest.

My classes lasts an hour, and I enjoy volunteering my time with the students. It’s my goal that they will use quality music (with an emphasis on quality) to inspire the muse within them. I want to challenge young people to temporarily laugh about Professor Poopypants but to wonder and write about characters as rich and provocative as Phil, the bailiff’s son. No batteries required.

 

Writing and Wellness Retreat Inspires Women

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writers wellness group 2015

Mill Park Publishing of Eagle has sponsored “Write by the River” writing retreats since 2008, and the quarterly events are scheduled in two deluxe cabins near the mountain town of Garden Valley, Idaho. Previous faculty for the retreats includes Pulitzer Prize Winner Anthony Doerr, Whiting Award Winner Alan Heathcock, and New York Times bestselling authors AK Turner and Jennifer Basye Sander.

Anthony Doerr and Alan Heathcock

In 2015, a women-only option was added to include a focus on wellness in addition to writing. The weekend is organized and hosted by Elaine Ambrose, Mill Park Publishing owner and author, and Emily Nielsen, a wellness coach and owner of Balance Family Fitness. Activities include healthy meals, gentle yoga, writing workshops set to music, fireside chats, and free time to write or explore. Attendees have arrived from four states, and the retreats usually are sold out.

cabin back deck

The next Women’s Wellness and Writing Retreat is May1-3, and details are on the website at http://womenswellnesswritingretreat.eventbrite.com/?s=32519943. The costs begin at $250 for two night’s lodging, all meals, healthy snacks, speakers, writing materials, and individual coaching. The Saturday-only option is available for $100.

Mill Park Publishing produces books written by women. The books have won 14 prestigious awards, including a Silver Medal and a Bronze Medal from the Independent Publisher Book Awards program. The company has produced 26 published authors, and two more books are in production. Mill Park Publishing donates a portion of books sales to various local charities, including Treasure Valley Dress for Success, the Cabin Writers in the School Program, and the Women’s and Children’s Alliance.

 

MPP logo

Join Us for a Writing and Wellness Retreat Next Weekend!

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cabin back deck           photo 3

Write by the River

Wellness and Writing Retreat – Oct. 3-5

http://www.eventbrite.com/e/write-by-the-river-wellness-retreat-for-women-tickets-12677471659

One Weekend and Four Day-Only Spots Still Available!

Imagine a fun weekend in the mountains with other women who want to focus on fitness and writing while having fun! Retreat includes five meals, snacks, writing materials, cooking demonstrations, organized activities, workshops, accommodations, and free time.

Organized by certified fitness instructor and wellness coach Emily Nielsen and published author and syndicated blogger Elaine Ambrose.

  • Healthy, wheat-free meals: two dinners, one lunch, two breakfasts, snacks
  • Workshops: Personal Journal, Why Your Story Matters, Self-Confidence
  • Wellness activities: Morning exercise, Meditation, (optional) Hiking, Hot Springs, Quiet Time
  • Deluxe accommodations for two nights in a deluxe cabin with shared bedrooms and shared bathrooms. High-speed Internet available at both cabins.
  • Fireside chats

 

ONLY $150!

 cabin inside  women's retreat

 Copy, paste, and click on the Eventbrite link to register today.

DAY-ONLY OPTION AVAILABLE FOR SATURDAY, OCT. 4 – Includes breakfast, lunch, writing workshop, and wellness activity. Only $75.

Cabins are located in a secluded, pristine area near the South Fork of the Payette River in Garden Valley, just one hour’s drive north of Boise. Expect to see wild elk, deer, fox, eagles, and osprey.

Details and Registration Form: EventBrite Link or  www.test.elaineambrose.com