Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Let’s Celebrate Truckers, Gators, and Taters

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To support truck drivers and inspire children to imagine award-winning storytelling, here is the first story in Gators & Taters – A Week of Bedtime Stories. The children’s book won a prestigious writing award for children’s literature from The Independent Press. (The story is written in poetry form with the accent on every third syllable using the same meter and rhyme scheme as the classic poem T’was the Night Before Christmas written in 1823 by Clement Clarke Moore.)

Available in Paperback, eBook, and Audiobook

 

 

 

 

Happy Alligators playing in potatoes

 

 

 

Cleo and Clyde wave bye-bye.

 

The story is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook read by the author. Thanks to Patrick Bochnak for the festive illustrations.

Copyright Elaine Ambrose

 

In Defense of Idaho Education

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Commencement Speaker, University of Idaho

I am a product of Idaho education – 12 years in the village of Wendell and four years at the University of Idaho, graduating with Phi Beta Kappa scholastic honors. I enjoyed a successful career working in several Idaho business, including KMVT-TV, Idaho Bank & Trust, and Boise Cascade before starting my own publishing business.

I majored in journalism at the U of I and revered the AP Style Book from the Associated Press. Unfortunately, the AP has become a cesspool of progressive bias, and this latest article by Keith Ridler has more manure than my father’s hog farm. The title is wrong, he cites right-wing sources without balance, and he manipulates the article to fit his false claim.

In the biased article, “Businesses: Idaho Education Politics are Hurting State,” only ONE actual business spokesperson responded to the AP inquiry, and the response did not criticize Idaho education. The quote comes from Micron Technology, a company that employs more than 6,000 people in Idaho. Apparently, they can read and write.

The article also states Idaho “has had one of the worst graduation rates in the nation.” That is not true.

Here are some key facts he ignored: New York State spends more than $27,000 per pupil. New York has a 78% high school graduation rate.

Idaho spends about $7,800 per student. With an 82% graduation rate, Idaho has a higher rate of high school graduation than New York. 

What does New York receive in return for spending almost $20,000 more per student than Idaho? The answer is: A lower graduation rate. Money isn’t the answer. We need a better educational system without the control of the National Education Association supported through biased articles from the media.

I encourage Idaho parents to become more involved in education and investigate the curriculum and books available at libraries in local schools. They might be tempted to obtain a book about homeschooling. 

To conclude, I’m proud to be a third-generation Idahoan, but I’m concerned about my grandchildren’s education. I hope their classes teach them the skills necessary to become a productive, successful adult. I also hope they learn how to decipher truth from fiction in the media.

Remember July 4th in Crouch, Idaho?

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I owned a cabin in Garden Valley, Idaho near the village of Crouch. Away from the crowds and noise of the Boise area, the valley offered clean air, quiet evenings, roaming wildlife, and inspirational views of the South Fork of the Payette River. The commotion came on July 4th. The festivities were tamed a few years ago, and July 4th will never be the same.

Most cities organize a patriotic parade and fireworks, but for some true explosive entertainment we escape to the mountains to Crouch where the local citizens organize a dangerous and horrifying experience not to be missed.

The normal population is fewer than 500 full-time residents, and the entire county has only four people per square mile. But summer brings the vacationers and those with second homes. That’s also when the crazies come down from the hills. And they have ammunition.

On July 4th the one street in Crouch is lined with more than 1,000 people who come with the hopes of still being alive and unbloodied after midnight. The only gas pump is turned off and guarded by police because one errant rocket could hit the gas line and ignite the entire town. At dusk, a year’s salary of expensive fireworks begins in the middle of the street. Firecrackers, spinners, noise makers, sparklers, exploding stars, roman candles, and comets are a few of the pyrotechnics ignited for several hours. And, that’s just from the toddlers.

All ages of people meander the streets, walking through burned out debris and lighting new whistle rockets and flares. Several people hoist huge wheels of 500 firecrackers and then pile them in the street and offer children the opportunity to light the fuses. Beer and liquor flow freely, bands perform raucous music, and grizzled old miners hop over spinning fireworks.

Miraculously, no one gets hurt. Studley and I join in the fun and by the end of the day, we have officially celebrated and make our way over the carnage to our cabin. The police continue to guard the gas pumps and smile. They say they would rather have fireworks in town instead of out in the woods because the possibility of burning down the restaurant and grocery store is a preferable alternative to starting a forest fire.

The fifth of July in Crouch is quiet, except for the occasional gunshot and leftover duds that suddenly explode and cause some horses to stampede through town. We invite guests to join us for the annual event, but they must bring an insurance waiver.

— This is an excerpt from my humor book, Midlife Cabernet. 

Midlife Cabernet: Life, Love & Laughter after Fifty (Midlife Humor) by Elaine Ambrose – Winner of several awards including the Silver Medal for Humor from the Independent Publishers Book Award (IPPY).

Riding Shotgun through a Blizzard in an 18-Wheeler

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During the winter of my junior year at the University of Idaho, harsh storms dumped a record amount of snow on northern Idaho. My parents sent me an airplane ticket to fly the 400-mile distance from Lewiston to Twin Falls to come home for Christmas, but I arrived in Lewiston and the airport was closed due to bad weather. I called Dad and he said to call back in thirty minutes. I called back and he said he had rerouted one of his 18-wheel trucks from Missoula, Montana to get me.

A few hours later, a snow-covered Montana Express truck arrived at the airport. I hopped in and expressed my gratitude, but the two drivers were not in a jolly mood. The diversion added 15 hours to their journey and the roads included the old Whitebird Hill, a switchblade, two-lane, dangerous route in a snowstorm at night in the middle of nowhere.

“This will be some adventure!” I said, trying to stay positive.

“We just drove through a blizzard on LoLo Pass,” said Dub Brownlee, a driver I had known for 15 years. “We could be home now, but we’ll get you home in about 12 hours.”

“I hope Dad rewards you,” I said.

“Oh, he will!” came a voice from the sleeper. I recognized the voice of Claude Odem, a long-time driver. Because I was a passenger, the second driver needed to stay in the sleeper.

The old White Bird Hill was dangerous in good weather – treacherous in a snowstorm.

We drove through the snowstorm and finally reached the treacherous Whitebird Hill. At an elevation of 4,400 feet, the snow was thick and blinding. The windshield wipers barely kept the top layer of snow off the windshield. There were no other drivers on the road. As the big rig inched along the switchblade turns, I could look out the window and occasionally see the edge of the road that disappeared over the sides into steep canyons. One slip of a back wheel, and we would be over the edge and not found until the spring thaw. Brownlee kept both hands on the wheel and leaned forward to keep the truck on the road. I didn’t dare tell him I had to go to the bathroom. I held that urge for another hour.

We approached the bottom of the grade as the wind blew the snow sideways across the windshield. My hands ached from holding onto the seat.

“I’m getting too tired,” moaned Brownlee. “If I fall asleep, just grab the wheel and ease onto the brake pedal.”

I looked at him, eyes wide and mind terrified. Then he winked. He enjoyed a good ten minutes of laughter after that joke. I couldn’t laugh because I would wet my pants.

We arrived in Wendell the next morning. Driving the journey in a car on dry roads took eight hours, but this journey was unique. My dad handed the drivers a thick envelope I assumed was full of cash. Over the years, Brownlee would remind me of his valiant sacrifice to get me home for Christmas. I replied that I enjoyed being his favorite cargo.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952, with my brother and father

(This excerpt is from my memoir, “Frozen Dinners.”)

Montana Express Trucking

#amwriting, #trucking, #Idaho, #MontanaExpress, #memoir,

“Frozen Dinners” Memoir Wins another National Award

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Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family is the winner of the 2019 New York City Big Book Award. The Distinguished Favorite Award places the memoir among the best books written and published by independent authors.

The winners were announced November 11, 2019 in New York City. The award program recognizes quality books and notes that New York City is synonymous with the global publishing industry.

Frozen Dinners describes how an entrepreneurial father rose from poverty to build a mult-million-dollar trucking empire hauling frozen food throughout the Northwest. His determination, combined with generosity and strict punishment, leaves his family in a state of emotional paralysis. After his untimely death, his survivors implode in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, illness, and dementia. Using actual courtroom transcripts, author Elaine Ambrose portrays the tragic consequences of greed, estrangement, and family competition.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

The memoir is the story of a woman who spends half a century searching for love and warmth beyond the contaminated legacy of her fractured family. The book, published by Brown Books Publishing Group, is available in hardcover, eBook, and audiobook read by the author. Copies can be ordered through local bookstores, independent bookstores, or online.

Frozen Dinners earlier won a writing award from the Independent Press Award for Memoir. Author Elaine Ambrose has written five books in the past five years in three genres, and the books now have won eight national writing awards.

Eight national writing awards for five books

Here’s Why Narrators Can’t Cry

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In this excerpt from the audiobook of my memoir Frozen Dinners,my emotions cause my voice to falter when I’m reading about my mother. I tell the sound engineer I’m imagining a clown falling out of a clown car so I can regain my composure, start over with the paragraph, and finish the chapter.

The audiobook will be released September 10. Support your local bookstore and order through:

https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9781515933793-frozen-dinners

To order through Amazon, click here:

https://www.amazon.com/Frozen-Dinners-Memoir-Fractured-Family/dp/B07X61TFB8/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=