Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Writers as Instruments of Peace

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Can a group of Idaho writers help bring respect and civility to a country polluted by vitriol and criticism? Yes, they can. We proved it over the weekend.

During the past 12 years, I have organized more than 20 writer’s retreats and workshops. Our recent workshop focused on “Your Journey is Your Story,” and the participants were prompted to share personal experiences that could shape a future blog or memoir. The workshop included a “Music as Muse” exercise as I played different songs and gave writing prompts.

The last music played was Peacemaker by Irish singer Máire (Moya) Brennan. The song included the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi with the singer’s young son providing words in Irish Gaelic. The words in the original prayer include the phrase “make me an instrument of your peace.” After the music exercise, participants read their works aloud to the group.


The first writer read her story about being thrilled to take her daughters to an event to hear former First Lady Michelle Obama. The writer is scheduled to travel to Seattle in May to hear Hillary Clinton.

Another writer spoke about praying and seeing the face of Jesus.

Other writers included a former Republican state representative who read about patriotism, a mother who spoke and sang about her love for her children, a woman escaping sexual abuse, a student who wrote about surviving after World War III, a humorous memory of a departed relative, and a kind grandmother who shared the pain of being estranged by an adult son. Every speaker was respected and appreciated. There was no drama, no criticism, and no insults.

If ten people from various backgrounds and from ages 12 to 72 can come together to a writing workshop in Meridian, Idaho and value opposite opinions, others can do it, too.

Over the past two years, I’ve winced at the hateful, bitter comments written by associates on social media. These continuing assaults have changed nothing nor have they improved the public discourse. I appreciate spirited debate and have posted several satirical memes about politics, but I’ve never personally attacked anyone. In my opinion, the atmosphere is more polluted with hostile verbal garbage than with plastic bags.

I’m traveling to Las Vegas soon to present a similar writing workshop using music as motivation and inspiration. It’s my goal to inspire attendees, ten people at a time, to use their words, laptops, and pens as instruments of peace.

“Frozen Dinners” Sells 873 eBooks During March

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Ambrose Trucking, 1952
873 eBooks Sold in March

Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family sold more than 28 eBooks every day during the month of March for a delightful total of 873. The memoir was published in November 2018 by Brown Books Publishing . Hardback books are selling well across the country, and the eBooks started to gain traction in February. The 873 eBooks sold were on Amazon Kindle, and additional eBooks were sold on Barnes & Noble Nook, KOBO, and Apple iTunes. During March, the eBook sold well in several foreign countries, including the United Kingdom, India, Canada, and Australia.

The eBook ranked #7 in a memoir category on Amazon. According to Just Publishing Advice, there are more than 4.8 million eBooks on Amazon Kindle.

Ambrose Trucking, 1954

The memoir describes the author’s childhood in the Idaho village of Wendell, Idaho, and explains how her father rose from poverty to build a multi-million-dollar trucking empire hauling frozen food throughout the Northwest. After his untimely death, his survivors implode in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, illness, and dementia. The author spends half a century searching for love and warmth beyond the contaminated legacy of her fractured family. Now the author’s parents and brothers have died, and the family and the fortune are all gone.

The author discussed her memoir in a podcast for “Magnificent Midlife Woman” with Sheree Clark. Listen to the interview here.

Books are available from local bookstores and online. EBooks are on Amazon Kindle, KOBO, iTunes, and Nook. The audio version will be available in the summer.

Upcoming Speeches and Workshops

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Elaine Ambrose

Review my Speaker’s Page for signature speeches, videos, and testimonials.
https://elaineambrose.com/speaker/

Recent and Upcoming Speeches
January 5-6 – Sun Valley – Private Writer’s Workshop
January 7 – Boise – Richelle Silagy White’s Book Club
March 14 – Meridian – Paramount Elementary – Read and Donate Books
March 16 – Boise – Speak to Delta Gamma Alumni Luncheon – Hillcrest Country Club
March 20 – Boise – 4-Author Book Signing – The Local, 5616 State
March 30 – Meridian – Speak at LPGA Luncheon – Spurwing Country Club
April 5-6 – Spurwing Country Club – Facilitate Writer’s Workshop
April 13 – Las Vegas – Facilitate Writer’s Workshop
April 17 – Meridian Library, 1326 W Cherry Lane, Speak about “Music as Muse”
April 18 – Collister Library – Boise – Speak about Publishing Children’s Books
April 26 – Boise – Sponsor Idaho Writer’s Guild Reception
June 28 – Wendell – Speak at High School Reunion

“Your Journey is Your Story” Writing Workshop in April

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Are you ready to explore and write about your journey? Cl.ick on this link for registration details:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/your-journey-is-your-story-writing-workshop-with-elaine-ambrose-tickets-55620139334

Facilitated by bestselling author Elaine Ambrose, this workshop is designed for intermediate writers who want to expand their work in the areas of non-fiction, personal essay, and memoir. Using creative techniques, musical prompts, and targeted anecdotes, Ambrose will guide participants through a review of their own experiences to enhance their ability to “Write what you know.” The workshop includes the empowering experience of reading aloud to a group. Registration is limited to 20 people.

Saturday’s events will be in the Board Room at The Club at Spurwing in Meridian, Idaho. http://www.theclubatspurwing.com/the-club-house

The $150 fee covers Friday’s reception, Saturday’s workshops, all materials, refreshments, and lunch.

Writers at the 2017 workshop at Spurwing.

Elaine Ambrose is an award-winning, bestselling author of 10 books. Four of her recent books won six national writing awards, and her memoir Frozen Dinners ranked #23 out of 60,000 memoirs available on Amazon. Ambrose presents writing workshops at conferences across the country, including the prestigious Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Read about her books, blogs, and events at ElaineAmbrose.com.

Guest speaker AK Turner will present her fail-proof formula for how to establish a writing routine. She is the New York Times bestselling author of the Vagabonding with Kids series (Brown Books) as well as This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, Mommy Had a Little Flask, and Hair of the Corn Dog (Fever Streak Press). Her works have received a starred review from Publishers Weekly, IPPY Awards in Humor and Travel, a Foreword Indies Award, an Independent Press Distinguished Favorite, and listing in BookLife’s Top 5 Indie Books of 2014. http://vagabondingwithkids.com/

Agenda

Friday, April 5, 7:00 – 9:00 pm – Private reception at the home of Elaine Ambrose at Spurwing. Details provided upon paid registration.

Saturday, April 6, 9:00 am – 2:00 pm

9:00 am – Board Room at Spurwing Country Club

Coffee, Tea, and Introductions

Writing Workshop: The Delicious Art of Word Stew

Writing Workshop: Your Journey is Your Story

Writing Workshop: Music as Muse

Writing Workshop: Fail-Proof Formula to Establish a Writing Routine – presented by AK Turner

Assignments

Lunch – Meals will be ordered from the Spurwing Menu.

Workshop: Reading and Speaking

Participants Read Their Work

2:00 pm – Assignments and Adjourn

Participants can remain on site until 4:00 pm to write and socialize.

Bring samples of your writing, paper, pen, and/or computer for writing and reading assignments.

No refunds after April 1.

Elaine Ambrose
Spurwing Golf Course
AK Turner

“Old Eyeballs” is Not the Name of a Cocktail

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(Note: I need to stay off social media and computer screens for awhile because of a hemorrhage in a posterior vitreous detachment in my right eye. There was some bleeding and now hairy ants are crawling around in my eye, and it’s rather irritating. The condition is exacerbated by myopia and chronic ocular migraine headaches. But, looking on the bright side (without pain), my left eye is fine. My talented and competent ophthalmologist Dr. Tweeten is taking care of me, as he has for 30 years. )

Forty years ago when five-months pregnant with my daughter, I needed surgery on both eyes to fix retinal detachments. I refused anesthesia because I was pregnant. I deserve an award for that because I watched as the doctors at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City propped open each eye, lifted, and lasered each one. I remained in the hospital overnight with my eyes bandaged. My sweet mother came to stay with me after the operation. I wish she would come back because it’s happening again. For some much-needed humor, here’s a blog post I wrote several years ago about my eye problems.

“I think we need to do a test for macular degeneration,” my eye doctor mumbled as he nonchalantly studied the results of my exam. “Holy Crap!” I responded, a bit more animated. “Am I going blind?”

Immediately, I feared the worst. How could I exist without seeing my grinning Studley bring me coffee every morning, or watch my extraordinary grandchildren blossom into exquisite youngsters, or visually feast upon the multiple splendors of outdoor Idaho? How would I know if my purse and shoes were coordinated? And, horrors, what if I accidentally opened a cheap Chardonnay instead of a rich Cabernet? The pending consequences were more than I could bear.

My thoughts were erupting like microwave popcorn as the perky assistant led me to a strange machine. She probably had 20-20 vision and secretly pitied my older, frightened eyes. I sat where instructed and placed my chin in the designated slot. “Just stare at the colored lines and don’t blink for six seconds,” she said. I have a three-second attention span so it took four tries to get it right. Then we zapped the other eye. She left me alone with this mind-numbing remark, “It’ll be just a minute, Dear.”

Dear? I was about to fall into a black abyss and somehow this young stranger managed to make it worse. A tear wiggled out of my favorite eye (it’s the left one.) I began the Holy Barter, which is my term for promising the Spiritual Universe to do ANYTHING for another chance. My list went like this: I won’t be on the computer for hours without a break. I’ll get more sleep. I won’t attempt to write 7,000 words in a weekend. I promise to wear my glasses, even in public! Just, please, don’t take my vision.

I was ten years old when I put on my friend’s glasses and realized that trees had leaves! Until then, trees were just big green things. Then I noticed that the teacher was writing actual words on the blackboard. No wonder I had been having trouble in school. After I finally got prescription glasses, we attended a movie and I cried like a baby because I could actually see that Bambi was all alone in the forest!

Since then my eye problems have included ulcers, floaters, and painful night vision. When I was 25 and pregnant with my first child, my vision became blurry. I thought I couldn’t see the scales because of my huge belly, but my ophthalmologist confirmed that I had holes in my retinas. Immediate surgery was required but I refused anesthesia because of the pregnancy. Nothing prompts projective vomiting more than seeing your own eyeball manipulated and welded. After the bandages were removed, I was relieved that my vision was good enough to find the sales rack at Nordstrom’s.

All these thoughts were whirling through my feeble mind as I waited for the eye doctor to say the words that would either send me into chaotic darkness of make me fall on my knees and celebrate the everlasting lightness of being and seeing. I held my breath as the doctor entered the room, read the charts, and uttered these profound words:

“Your eyes are weaker and there is some deterioration of the lining but you don’t have macular degeneration. You just have old eyeballs.”

I stifled the urge to both hit and kiss him. It’s just old eyeballs! Alleluia! I could see well enough to order new glasses, pay the migraine-inducing bill, and drive without assistance. On my way home, I noticed an abandoned car rusting in a field. Don’t become that car. Women over a certain age should keep a regular maintenance schedule that includes eye and dental exams, pap smears, and mammograms. Top off that polished chassis with a bold Cabernet and you can enjoy your golden years without too much tarnish. And, I can see clearly that getting dull is not an option.

Falling off the 2018 Merry-Go-Round

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2018 was a year of adventure, stress, and writing achievements. I’m looking forward to a quieter year of positive opportunities to balance the roller-coaster events of the past 12 months.

In January, we returned to the secluded, non-commercial golf resort of Villa del Palmar Loreto on the east coast of the Baja Peninsula. This private nature preserve doesn’t allow cruise ships, motor boats, or jet skis, so it’s quiet and peaceful. The golf course is spectacular with dramatic views of Danzante Bay.

In March, we escaped to Arizona to get out of the cold weather in Eagle, Idaho. I traveled to the University of Idaho in Moscow to initiate the Ambrose Storytelling Endowment. I established the endowment in honor of my late brother George, and the program includes an annual workshop, a faculty stipend, and a student cash award.

In April, I traveled to Dayton, Ohio to the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop to reconnect with my tribe. I was one of 40 Erma authors to have humorous stories published in an anthology titled, Laugh Out Loud.

I was a speaker at the Boise “Storyfort” program and at the McCall Arts Story Night. I spoke for several writing workshops connected with the Idaho Writers Guild, and returned to my hometown to speak at Wendell High School.

At the end of April, I had the privilege to return to Ireland with the Wayfinding Women tour. A group of women stayed in a castle and in cottages by the sea. We hiked the Burren, lunched at a tea house, strolled through the extensive Powerscourt Gardens, and toured the sacred Hill of Tara. We listened to visiting lecturers talk about Celtic Goddesses, the Divine Feminine, and historic fairy tales. I stayed in Dublin for two days after the tour to visit the cathedrals, see the Book of Kells in Trinity College, and find the Temple Bar. I felt invigorated as I navigated the travel arrangements by myself.

2018 was a year to accomplish writing goals. I finished the manuscript for my memoir Frozen Dinners and submitted it to Brown Books Publishing Group. Two of my children’s books received national writing awards.

Gators & Taters – A Week of Bedtime Stories won the 2018 Distinguished Favorite Award for Children’s Fiction from the Independent Press Awards. Thousands of books were submitted for the honor, but apparently the judges couldn’t resist the narrative rhythm of the imaginative stories. The Independent Press Award recognizes and honors independent publishers and authors and assists them gain more attention and to better purvey their content to a larger audience.

The annual Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards contest announced this year’s medal-winning books “in recognition of exemplary children’s books and their creators, and to celebrate children’s life-long reading.” The Silver Medal was awarded to The Magic Potato – La Papa Mágica – Story Book in English and Spanish.


In June, I returned to Ohio for the conference of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. For the second year in a row, I received a writing award for humor for my blog posts. I received the award from Pulitzer Prize Winning Columnist Connie Schultz (left) and NSNC President Lisa Smith Molinari.

In August, we returned to McCall to golf and boat around the lake. Then at the end of August, we made a sudden life-changing decision: we decided to move.

We found a house on the third fairway of Spurwing Gold Resort in Meridian. I put the Eagle house on the market and it sold in 31 days. I put the cabin on the market and it sold two months later. We scrambled to move out of two full houses into one. We survived an extensive remodeling project on the new house: two colors of paint on the walls and ceilings, new carpet, new window coverings, and 1,500-square-feet of wood flooring. There were numerous problems with plumbing, water damage, and the well, but we hired excellent workers to get everything fixed.


In September, we hosted the annual birthday/anniversary party at our house. Professional cowboy poet and musician Ernie Sites entertained about 60 guests.

In October, I hosted 12 family members to the touring production of “Lion King.”

In the middle of the fall remodeling project, I traveled to Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri to speak at the farm bureau state convention.
Then I organized the premiere party for my memoir at Telaya Winery. Looking back, I don’t know how we did it all.

We hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the family in our new home, and we enjoyed a busy Christmas season. For the 40th year in a row, I fixed prime rib for Christmas Eve.

So, the year is ending, and I’m still standing. I intend to write another book in 2019 to complete the midlife humor trilogy. As always, my goal is to get in shape and be healthier. I’ll try to reduce the amount of wine consumption. Maybe. I’m grateful for a loving and fun partner, a devoted son and his family, and for the many friends we have in our new community. 2019 will be splendid.