Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Celebrate “Frozen Dinners” with Warm Food, Cool Jazz, and Sizzling Friends

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Please join the celebration on November 8 at the premiere party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family.

Register Here.

Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose departs from her award-winning humor to describe her childhood in the village of Wendell, Idaho. Her father, an intense entrepreneur, created a trucking company in 1952 to haul frozen food throughout the Northwest. His businesses grew into a multi-million-dollar empire. After his untimely death, his survivors imploded in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, heartbreak, and dementia. The $20 million-dollar estate is all gone, and Elaine’s parents and younger brother have died. In this new memoir, Ambrose chronicles her 50-year-search for warmth beyond the family legacy of frozen dinners.

Guest options include autographed books, glasses of Telaya wine, delicious “Grazing Table” food provided by Wild Plum Catering, custom cedar bookmarks, live music, free prizes, and a short reading. Additional books by the author will be available for purchase for holiday and Christmas gifting.

Popular singer and songwriter Dan Costello will provide a musical feast of sass and sound.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

Frozen Dinners is published by Brown Books Publishing Group of Dallas, Texas. For information about Elaine’s books, blogs, and events, see ElaineAmbrose.com.

Full of luscious details, clear-eyed compassion, and enduring joy, Ambrose’s memoir gives us an insider’s view of one family’s rocky pursuit of the American Dream. Even when she is relating personal stories of conflict, loss, and grief, Ambrose does so with a survivor’s voice made strong by experience, stubbornness, humor, and love.

— Kim Barnes, Author of the Pulitzer Prize Finalist Memoir: In the Wilderness: Coming of Age in Unknown Country

This tell-all memoir will resonate with anyone who has endured family 
dysfunction and will defrost the hearts of readers everywhere.
—Joely Fisher, actress, singer, and author of Growing Up Fisher

Elaine will read and sign books at Rediscovered Books on Thursday, November 29 in downtown Boise. Elaine is available locally for sales, signings, and holiday cheer.

“I received my last spanking when I was thirteen years old.”

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My memoir Frozen Dinners will be released next month and is available for pre-order. Here are some excerpts from the book.

I received my last spanking when I was thirteen years old. I had said something sarcastic to my father, so he dragged me into my bedroom and spanked me a few times on my rear. The rage and humiliation caused me to start a five-year-calendar to mark off the months until I was eighteen. Being hit by my father distorted my concept of a healthy relationship. A few years after I left home, the man I was with hit me hard enough to split my lip and knock me to the ground. My father was only thirty minutes away, but I didn’t call him because I didn’t want him to know.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

I envisioned my childhood while eating frozen dinners on disposable aluminum trays that provided exact portions of mixed vegetables, a meat concoction, manufactured potatoes, and bland apple crisp or a meek cherry cobbler. I saw my father, the stern, successful workaholic who built a trucking empire hauling frozen food and TV dinners throughout the Northwest. My mother dutifully heated and handed the aluminum trays to her children, and we ate in silence. As a stubborn girl, I defied the orderly presentation and pushed the wrinkled peas into the potatoes and plopped the dessert onto the meat. It all tasted the same, anyway. As we consumed our meal, I wondered how it would be to live in a place of warmth, peace, and laughter. I longed for a hearty homemade meal shared with a happy family, so I made it my mission to have that scenario.

My mother believed the biblical scripture that there was a time for everything, but she never anticipated going to court at age seventy-seven because of a lawsuit with her firstborn child. Her shoulders sagged as we approached the door, and I moved my arm around her. She seemed fragile and frightened, and I feared she would float away. The courthouse smelled of old wood and wax. We noted the schedule of trials, and Mom cringed when she read the notice: Plaintiff, Leona Ambrose. Defendant, Tom Ambrose, Sand Springs Ranch. The lawyer for the plaintiff was Richard C. Boardman from Perkins Coie in Boise. I was listed as the counter-defendant because my brother sued me in response to my mother’s suit against him

 

Here, on the hill near the potato field, I rejoiced in the splendor of my existence. That’s when I felt it. A calm sensation poured over me, stirred my very soul, and quietly released through unrestricted tears flowing down my cheeks. Through my blurred vision, I knew that this warm feeling was the peace I had read about in my grandmother’s Bible. And it was a peace that passed all understanding.

I finally understand why my mother, even in dementia, was so desperate to find her quilt. The patchwork pieces of our past are reminders of the frayed, personal fabric of our lives, but they also offer comforting, familiar proof of the happiness that occurred and the enduring strength necessary to hold it all together.

 

The Premiere Party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family will be Thursday, November 8 at Telaya Winery in Garden City, Idaho. Other books will be available for holiday and Christmas gifts. Laughter will outweigh any sadness.

“Frozen Dinners” Premiere Party is Nov. 8 at Telaya Winery

By


Please join the celebration at the premiere party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family.

Details and ticket prices are listed here.

Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose departs from her award-winning humor to describe her childhood in the village of Wendell, Idaho. Her father, an intense entrepreneur, created a trucking company in 1952 to haul frozen food throughout the Northwest. His businesses grew into a multi-million-dollar empire. After his untimely death, his survivors imploded in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, heartbreak, and dementia. In this new memoir, Ambrose chronicles her 50-year-search for warmth beyond the family legacy of frozen dinners.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

Guest options include autographed books, glasses of Telaya wine, delicious “TV Dinner” appetizers, custom cedar bookmarks, live music, free prizes, and a short reading. Additional books by the author will be available for purchase for holiday and Christmas gifting.

To balance the serious memoir, Elaine will have copies of “Laugh Out Loud” – an anthology featuring 40 of the best humor writers from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Elaine’s short story is titled “The Music and Motors of My Life” and includes the tale of an unfortunate incident in a cattle truck.

Frozen Dinners is published by Brown Books Publishing Group of Dallas, Texas. For information about Elaine’s books, blogs, and events, see ElaineAmbrose.com.

“Gators & Taters” Wins National Writing Award for Children’s Fiction

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“Potatoes are tasty,” Clyde said with a sigh.

“I like them much better than blueberry pie.”

Gators & Taters – A Week of Bedtime Stories is the winner of the 2018 Distinguished Favorite Award for Children’s Fiction from the Independent Press Awards. Thousands of books were submitted for the honor, but apparently the judges couldn’t resist the narrative rhythm of the imaginative stories. The Independent Press Award recognizes and honors independent publishers and authors and assists them gain more attention and to better purvey their content to a larger audience.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released guidelines that advise parents to start reading to your child from infancy. Gators & Taters features seven stories, four in prose and three in metered, rhyming poetry similar to the writings of Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuss. The stories are designed to be read aloud to children to continue the tradition of oral storytelling and inspire them to wonder about characters, places, and adventures. No batteries are required.

During the early 1950s, Mom raised her children, babysat other kids, and worked at home at night typing reports for Bradshaw’s Honey Plant in Wendell, Idaho. My dad was a truck driver and was gone during the week, so she had to earn money to pay for groceries. She saved enough to spend $5 a month for a set of Childcraft books. She read to me every night, and I developed a passion for reading. Every two weeks, she took me to the library and my first books were about the adventures of the Bobbsey Twins and the mysteries of Nancy Drew. When I was 10 and read Little Women, I identified with Jo, the tomboy, sassy girl, and I started to write short stories.

Gators & Taters features 36 original, colorful illustrations by Idaho artist Patrick Bochnak. Meet some of the characters and stories in the book:

“Gators & Taters” features two alligators named Cleo and Clyde. They go for a ride with a truck driver named Wendell O’Doodle and escape to play in an Idaho potato field.

“The Birthday Boy” offers the poignant story from a mother’s perspective as she watches her son Adam grow up and celebrate milestone birthdays.

“Hootenflute Flies the Coop” tells the delight tale of two little ladies who lost their pet owl. The story introduces creative words, such as flamdoogle tea, crawdad bogs, and corncob cakes.

“The Secret Reading Room” describes how a girl named Amber escapes to her grandmother’s attic to read travel magazines and adventure books. In this author profile, the girl decides to travel the world.

“Mama, I’ve Had a Bad Day” tells the true story of a family in various stages of crisis and chaos. Each family member has a bad day until Mama opens the scrapbook and reminds them of happier times.

“How to Feed a Hungry Giant” portrays the tall tale of Tater McCall who discovers and feeds a lonely Giant named George. The Giant eats 50 fish, 50 loaves of bread, and a bathtub of vegetable soup.

“Biking to the Moon” is an enchanting story about Emily, a girl who magically rides her bike to the moon and meets people trapped under a curse from a nasty troll. She breaks the spell and returns home to meet a special new friend.

The book concludes with discussion subjects and questions for parents, caregivers, and teachers to share with children after reading the stories aloud. Gators & Taters is available in paperback, eBook, and Audiobook read by the author.

The Independent Press Award follows other honors. The book was chosen as one of 50 children’s books selected by Bowker’s National Recommended Reading List, selected for the Idaho Public Television “First Book” Program with statewide distribution to underprivileged children, selected for the State of Idaho “Read Out Loud Crowd” Program, selected for the Summer Reading List for the Log Cabin Literary Center in Boise, and chosen for the Barnes & Noble Summer Reading Program in Boise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feel a Mother’s Day Special with Angel Bumps

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For the perfect Mother’s Day gift, with discounts up to 50%, share a copy of Angel Bumps – Hello from Heaven.

Angel Bumps is a collection of tender stories from 50 writers who share their humorous, inspirational, and emotional experiences with personal signs from beyond. Signs could be a feather, a certain song, a coin, or a sudden aroma. Our Angel Bumps bring us joy, comfort, and peace. Just like Mom.

From May 5 through May 12, the eBook will be discounted 50% to $1.99.

The paperback debuted at #1 in its category on Amazon and will be discounted 20% to $11.95.

Email Anne Bardsley to order signed, personalized copies of the paperback:

[email protected]

Communicate with Anne about number of copies, personalized notes in the book, autographs, and postage.

 

Or, order online at: Angel Bumps

These personal Angel Bumps end on May 12.

 

 

Memoir and Metaphor

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My memoir Frozen Dinners is in production and soon the proofs will be distributed for professional review. The publication date will be in a few months.

The book contains several original poems in a chapter titled “Potatoes and Poetry.” I wrote one titled “1964 Town Crier” as a student in a writing class at the University of Idaho. At the time, I didn’t know the poem would become the metaphor for a memoir I would finish almost 50 years later.

 

1964 Town Crier

 Ragged, rhythmic clouds of breath escape from my mouth

as I push my burdened bicycle over the patches of frozen snow.

Frost fills my nostrils and hardens wayward hairs

poking beneath my knit hat like spikes of rigid spider legs.

The only sounds on this dark moonless morning

come from the rustle of my frozen pant legs

and my boots squeaking and crunching through the crusty layers.

I know every house on my paper route, so I keep my head down

in a futile attempt to ignore the bitter winds that slice through my coat.

Take a newspaper from the bag, slap it into a roll, stick it into the can, keep going.

I’m 12 years old, and I’m outside in the brutal Idaho winter

at 5:30 am to deliver 70 newspapers. Every day. By myself.

My fingers hurt. Snot freezes on my lip. A dog growls but doesn’t leave its shelter.

Crunch. Breathe. My bag becomes lighter as a sliver of daylight emerges through the dark.

I arrive home, and my father sits to read the newspaper while my mother hands me

hot cocoa with marshmallows happily bobbing and melting on top.

My aching hands circle the mug, and I lean over so the steam can warm my face.

Silent tears roll down red cheeks.

I am the Messenger. I am the Town Crier.