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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Menopause Sucks Less – 14 Years Later

August 8, 2022 By Elaine Ambrose

My daughter and son assisted with the premiere party for “Menopause Sucks” on August 8, 2008.

 

Menopause Sucks premiered in Eagle, Idaho on August 8, 2008. The event remains one of the highlights of my long and festive life.

I was divorced, and my son and daughter helped me organize the premiere party at Seasons Restaurant (now known as Bacquet’s French Restaurant.) My 15-month-old granddaughter attended as a special guest. I worked on the final edits of the manuscript while waiting for her to be born.

Prior to Menopause Sucks, I had written and published The Red Tease – A Woman’s Adventures in Golf and two children’s books. The Red Tease won the bronze medal for humor from the Foreword INDIES Book of the Year program, and the award helped me obtain a literary agent.

My agent, Andrea Hurst, secured my contract with Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, for me to coauthor Menopause Sucks with bestselling author Joanne Kimes. We worked on the manuscript for several months, sending chapters back and forth, and laughing at every exaggerated description. We included factual information approved by medical professionals and added our own creative humor. We never met in person. The book continues to sell in paperback and eBook formats.

Publisher’s Author Photo

Here are some excerpts from Menopause Sucks.

“Warning: Over 38 million women are going through menopause, and some of them are really irritated. If you’re one of them, you know that it’s a crying shame that you could live to be 100 but only twenty of those years come with youthful vigor, shiny hair, smooth skin, multiple orgasms, and a flat stomach. To understand what is happening to your mind and body, just put down that shotgun and find a cool spot to read the book Menopause Sucks by menopausal maniac Elaine Ambrose. You’ll find answers and laughs as you learn about hot flashes, incontinence, hair loss, age spots, flatulence, mood swings, and hot sex after forty. This isn’t your mother’s medical manual.”

“While it is better than dying too young, living past forty often comes with unpleasant and bewildering challenges. For the most part, every single symptom of menopause is caused by one reason, and one reason alone: hormones. It seems that your body makes several different kinds of hormones that love to cavort through your body and play havoc with your sanity. Two major players are called estrogen and progesterone. In medical terms, estrogen is produced in your ovaries and acts as a chemical commander in chief, telling your female body what to do. In not-so-medical terms, imagine a teeny tyrant running through your brain yelling, “Grow pubic hair now!” “Ovulate from the left ovary!” or “Make that boob bigger than the other one!” As with most power-hungry rascals, estrogen likes to change the rules every now and then just to confuse you.”

“As perimenopause begins, your ovaries are tired of taking orders, so they decide to reduce the production of estrogen. “Attention All Sectors. Estrogen is leaving the body. Farewell party at noon in the pituitary gland.” Then all hell breaks loose and you start to experience symptoms of perimenopause. The fact that you live through this chaos is definite proof of your magnificence. A lesser species would have become extinct millions of years ago.”

“It’s a rather cruel trick of nature that you could be raising teenagers and caring for aging parents while your Generalissimo Estrogen is barking orders at your female parts, your Busy Bee Progesterones are frantically fixing up the uterus for the Sperm and Egg Combo, and your Naughty Testosterone is working your libido like a tigress in heat.”

My son managed the sales at the premiere party.

Since 2008, I’ve written or published 18 more books, moved six times, and met a cute guy I call Studley. Due to a recent heart attack, my projects have been postponed, but ideas for future books continue to swirl in my brain and beg to be written. The proposed title of my next humor book is Midlife Reboot – Stories of Revival.

 

Reading excerpts from “Menopause Sucks”

 

 

 

 

 

Friends from college and work attended the premiere party.
My 15-month-old grandbabe was an honored guest at the party.

 

 

 

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #author, #book signing, #family, #humor, #menopause, anthology, book awards, premiere party, publishing

“Melody” is a Global Winner for Children’s Fiction

October 6, 2021 By Elaine Ambrose

 

Today the winners of the 2021 Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards were announced. Idaho Author Elaine Ambrose won her 10th global writing award in six years. Her third children’s book, Melody’s Magical Flying Machine, won the Silver Medal for Juvenile Fiction – Early Reader/First Chapter Books. The delightful story features a 10-year-old girl who loves to tell stories and dreams of adventure. She also has Down syndrome. With the assistance of a talking bird, she uses a 3D printer to create a flying machine. Supporting characters include a little brother who tells knock-knock jokes. To accompany the book, two toys were designed and created by a 3D manufacturing company in Nampa.

According to Jenkins Group, sponsor and organizer of the Moonbeam Children’s Book Awards program, the awards are intended to bring increased recognition to exemplary children’s books and their creators and to celebrate children’s books and life-long reading. Medalists were chosen from nearly 1,500 total entries that came from children’s book authors, illustrators, and publishers from around the world.

Creating books that inspire children to read, to learn, and to dream is an extremely important task, and these awards were conceived to reward those efforts. Each year’s entries are judged by expert panels of youth educators, students, librarians, booksellers, and book reviewers of all ages. Award recipients receive gold, silver, and bronze medals with stickers depicting a mother and child reading and silhouetted by a full moon.

Melody’s Magical Flying Machine is available in paperback, eBook, and audiobook read by the author. The chapter book was illustrated by Idaho illustrator Caroline Zina and published by Brown Books Kids. Earlier this year, the book won Distinguished Favorite from the Independent Press Award program.  Ambrose donates copies of the book and 3D toys to area charities. This is the second Moonbeam Children’s Book Award for Ambrose. The Magic Potato won the Silver Medal in 2018.

Six books by Ambrose were published in six years and have won 10 global writing awards in three genres: humor, memoir, and children’s books.

Three Award-Winning Children’s Books. 

  • Melody’s Magical Flying Machine 
    • 2021 Moonbeam Children’s Book Award – Silver Medal
    • 2021 Independent Press Distinguished Favorite Award Winner for Children’s Fiction
  • Gators & Taters – A Week of Bedtime Stories
    • 2017 Independent Press Award Distinguished Favorite Winner for Children’s Fiction
  • The Magic Potato – La Papa Mágica
    • 2018 Moonbeam Children’s Book Award – Silver Medal for Bilingual Children’s Fiction

Two Award-winning Humor Books! 

  • Midlife Happy Hour – Our Reward for Surviving Careers, Kids, and Chaos
    • 2016 INDIES Finalist for “Book of the Year for Humor”
    • 2016 Winner of Distinguished Favorite for Humor from Independent Press Awards
    • 2016 Winner of Gold Medal for Midlife from Independent Press Awards
  • Midlife Cabernet – Life, Love, & Laughter after 50
    • 2015 Winner of Independent Publishers Silver Medal for Humor
    • (Publishers Weekly reviewed as “Laugh-out-loud funny!”)

Two Awards for Memoir

  • Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family
    • 2019 Winner of “Distinguished Favorite” for Memoir from Independent Press Award
    • 2018 Winner of New York City Big Book Award for Memoir

Author’s Shameless Marketing Plug: Don’t wait on the predicted backlog of holiday and Christmas supplies and gifts. Books can be ordered now through independent book stores, online, or from the author.

 

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #amwriting, #bookaward, #Down Syndrome, #fairytale, #Independent Press Award, #KNOWwomen, #Moonbeam Children's Book Award, bestselling, entrepreneur, storyteller

Author Featured in KNOW BOISE Publication

August 17, 2021 By Elaine Ambrose

 

KNOW BOISE is an annual publication known as the Who’s Who of Boise and features women leaders and business owners in virtually every industry. Women are nominated by members and vetted through peer-review. The premiere issue was introduced in August, and Elaine Ambrose was included in the showcase of entrepreneurs as a bestselling author, workshop facilitator, and creator of Mill Park Publishing. The local chapter is affiliated with the global organization, KNOW WOMEN, and offers workshops, master classes, conferences, and networking opportunities.

The following page was included in the Boise, Idaho publication:

KNOW WOMEN is a global media company and community dedicated to amplifying the voices of female leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs. According to Sarah Benken, founder and CEO, “When successful women are lifted up for their hard work and achievements, they inspire the next generation of female leaders.”

 

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #author, #Boise, #publisher, #theknowwomen, #women, entrepreneur

How to Creatively Write Your Story

March 18, 2021 By Elaine Ambrose

Join me Saturday, March 20! I’ll be live and lovable on Zoom at 11:40 am Mountain Standard Time for a 30-minute presentation. (That’s 1:40 pm on the East Coast and 10:40 am in Nevada.)

Storytellers Toastmasters Club in Las Vegas, Nevada invites you to join us this Saturday, March 20, at 10:00 a.m. Pacific time for a very special workshop:

HOW TO CREATIVELY WRITE YOUR STORY

Hosted by Elaine Ambrose, author of 12 books, 8 eBooks, and 4 audiobooks.
 She will explain:

1) How your journey is your story because you are a walking storybook.
2) How to organize, outline, and write your stories.
3) How to package your message in blogs, magazine articles, eBooks, and/or books.

After Elaine’s presentation, she will answer questions and/or tell stories.

After 9:30 AM Pacific time, join the meeting by clicking on the link below from your laptop, computer, tablet, or smart phone.
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83594683442?pwd=ZENDdEtPaEwxMDZMTWRxbDBUb0NLUT09


Meeting ID: 835 9468 3442
Passcode: 921209

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #amwriting, #Toastmasters, #WriteYourStory, #WritingWorkshop, #Zoom

Idaho Author Donates Books and Toys to Special Olympics

December 14, 2020 By Elaine Ambrose

Books and Toys Donated to Special Olympics Idaho

Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose donated 50 signed copies of her new children’s book, Melody’s Magical Flying Machine, to Special Olympics Idaho. The donation included 100 toys made from a 3D printer and a check for $2,000. The toys and books will be given to children during the holidays.

In the book, a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome uses a 3D printer to create a flying machine. Toy models of the girl and the flying machine were manufactured by a local 3D print company. The book was released in November, and proceeds were designated for Special Olympics. The COVID-19 pandemic has curtailed events for the organization, and the books and 3D toys will provide a reading and role-play activity for the participants and their families.

3D Toys and Book Illustration

Laurie La Follette, chief executive officer of Special Olympics Idaho, said the donation will be allocated to Special Olympics programs across the state. Special Olympics is an international organization that changes lives by promoting understanding, acceptance and inclusion between people with and without intellectual disabilities. Special Olympics serves more than 5 million persons with intellectual disabilities in 170 countries.

Proceeds benefit Special Olympics Idaho

The 88-page chapter book is written for ages seven through eleven and includes creative illustrations by Idaho artist Caroline Zina. The book was published by Brown Books Publishing and also is available in eBook format , and soon in audiobook read by the author. They are available online or can be ordered from local bookstores and libraries.

National professional reviews have been positive. Publishers Weekly awarded the book with a “lightning bolt” designation, indicating an “Editor’s Pick for a Book of Outstanding Quality.” The review to be published in the November issue of Publishers Weekly noted that: “Award-winning humorist, memoirist, and children’s author Ambrose adds another hit to her roster with a third children’s book.” Kirkus Reviews wrote the book “is a joyful, well-told story that celebrates the power of imagination.”

Readers within the Down syndrome community also gave positive reviews. Allison Zoccola has an adult brother with Down syndrome and sent these remarks: “WOW – your book is incredible. I can imagine reading this to my daughter with so much joy and pride in having the main character proudly represent such an underrepresented population of phenomenal people. The descriptions are peppered with realistic details and mannerisms and bring so much life to the story for me.”

Ambrose is the bestselling author of ten books, a viral blogger, and a certified workshop facilitator. She has won national writing awards for books in three genres: humor, memoir, and children’s books. As the founder and publisher of Mill Park Publishing, she has donated thousands of dollars to local charities in conjunction with new book releases. Recipients included the Idaho Writers Guild, The Cabin Writers in the Schools program, the Women’s and Children’s Alliance, and Dress for Success Boise Valley. A $2,000 donation to the Wassmuth Center for Human Rights enabled 200 area school students would see the documentary “He Named Me Malala,” and a writing challenge with cash awards was created for local students in conjunction with The Idaho Potato Drop. Other donated projects established the Idaho chapter of Cycling Without Age and endowed the Ambrose Storytelling Workshop at the University of Idaho.

Ambrose recently finished an online course for how to do a webinar on Zoom, and her first writing workshop appeared online in November. For her next project, Ambrose is writing another humor book for women over age 55 because they really need to laugh again.

Cycling Without Age – Idaho Chapter
200 School Children Received Tickets for “He named me Malala”
Student winner of Writing Contest for Idaho Potato Drop.
Certified Workshop Facilitator – Morter Institute for BioEnergetics

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #donations, #Down Syndrome, #Dress for Success, #Morter Institute for BioEnergetics, #Special Olympics, #Women's and Children's Alliance, #Writers in the Schools, #writing workshops, #Zoom, Idaho Potato Drop, Idaho Writers Guild, Wassmuth Center for Human Rights

Virtual Premiere Party Nov. 14 for Children’s Book

November 2, 2020 By Elaine Ambrose

“Don’t forget me, Sweetie Pie.”

Idaho author Elaine Ambrose will introduce her latest children’s book at a virtual and drive-by event on Saturday, November 14 at SpurWing Country Club. Proceeds will benefit Special Olympics Idaho. People can view online Eventbrite details or stop by Spurwing, 6800 N Spurwing Way in Meridian, between 2:00 pm and 4:00 pm to purchase an autographed book and two toys for $20. Due to social distancing regulations, masks will be required and there won’t be a program.

Proceeds benefit Special Olympics Idaho

The book tells the story of a ten-year-old girl with Down syndrome who meets a talking bird named JuJu. Using a 3D printer, they create a magical flying machine. Slant3D in Nampa manufactured toys with a 3D printer to accompany the book. The 88-page chapter book is written for ages seven through eleven and includes creative illustrations by Idaho artist Caroline Zina. The book was published by Brown Books Publishing and also is available in eBook format and in audiobook read by the author. They are available online or can be ordered from local bookstores and libraries.

National professional reviews have been positive. Publishers Weekly awarded the book with a “lightning bolt” designation, indicating an “Editor’s Pick for a Book of Outstanding Quality.” The review to be published in the November issue of Publishers Weekly noted that: “Award-winning humorist, memoirist, and children’s author Ambrose adds another hit to her roster with a third children’s book.” Kirkus Reviews  wrote the book “is a joyful, well-told story that celebrates the power of imagination.”

Melody and JuJu with 3-D printer

Readers within the Down syndrome community also gave positive reviews. Allison Zoccola has an adult brother with Down syndrome and sent these remarks: “WOW – your book is incredible. I can imagine reading this to my daughter with so much joy and pride in having the main character proudly represent such an underrepresented population of phenomenal people. The illustrations are marvelous with so much depth, and truly enhance and bring more life to the words on the page.  The descriptions are peppered with realistic details and mannerisms – like fidgeting with the strings on her outfit – and bring so much life to the story for me. Having a brother with Down Syndrome, I know all too well the habits, repeated routines, safe places etc., that make up the day of an individual with Downs. I genuinely enjoyed reading it and I can’t wait to read it again.”

Slant3D of Nampa, Idaho, manufactured 3D toys for the book.

Ambrose is the bestselling author of ten books, a viral blogger, and certified workshop facilitator. She has won national writing awards for books in three genres: humor, memoir, and children’s books.

Melody the Storyteller
Melody the Daydreamer

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #amwriting, #childrensbooks, #downsyndrome, #PublishersWkly, imagination, Kirkus, Storytelling

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