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Elaine Ambrose

Bestselling Author, Ventriloquist, & Humorist

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Telaya Winery

Celebrate “Frozen Dinners” with Warm Food, Cool Jazz, and Sizzling Friends

November 7, 2018 By Elaine Ambrose

Please join the celebration on November 8 at the premiere party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family.

Register Here.

Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose departs from her award-winning humor to describe her childhood in the village of Wendell, Idaho. Her father, an intense entrepreneur, created a trucking company in 1952 to haul frozen food throughout the Northwest. His businesses grew into a multi-million-dollar empire. After his untimely death, his survivors imploded in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, heartbreak, and dementia. The $20 million-dollar estate is all gone, and Elaine’s parents and younger brother have died. In this new memoir, Ambrose chronicles her 50-year-search for warmth beyond the family legacy of frozen dinners.

Guest options include autographed books, glasses of Telaya wine, delicious “Grazing Table” food provided by Wild Plum Catering, custom cedar bookmarks, live music, free prizes, and a short reading. Additional books by the author will be available for purchase for holiday and Christmas gifting.

Popular singer and songwriter Dan Costello will provide a musical feast of sass and sound.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

Frozen Dinners is published by Brown Books Publishing Group of Dallas, Texas. For information about Elaine’s books, blogs, and events, see ElaineAmbrose.com.

Full of luscious details, clear-eyed compassion, and enduring joy, Ambrose’s memoir gives us an insider’s view of one family’s rocky pursuit of the American Dream. Even when she is relating personal stories of conflict, loss, and grief, Ambrose does so with a survivor’s voice made strong by experience, stubbornness, humor, and love.

— Kim Barnes, Author of the Pulitzer Prize Finalist Memoir: In the Wilderness: Coming of Age in Unknown Country

This tell-all memoir will resonate with anyone who has endured family 
dysfunction and will defrost the hearts of readers everywhere.
—Joely Fisher, actress, singer, and author of Growing Up Fisher

Elaine will read and sign books at Rediscovered Books on Thursday, November 29 in downtown Boise. Elaine is available locally for sales, signings, and holiday cheer.

Filed Under: books, events, Uncategorized Tagged With: #dysfunction, #memoir, #wine, entrepreneur, Humor, Idaho, Telaya Winery, trucking, tv dinners

“I received my last spanking when I was thirteen years old.”

October 7, 2018 By Elaine Ambrose

 

My memoir Frozen Dinners will be released next month and is available for pre-order. Here are some excerpts from the book.

I received my last spanking when I was thirteen years old. I had said something sarcastic to my father, so he dragged me into my bedroom and spanked me a few times on my rear. The rage and humiliation caused me to start a five-year-calendar to mark off the months until I was eighteen. Being hit by my father distorted my concept of a healthy relationship. A few years after I left home, the man I was with hit me hard enough to split my lip and knock me to the ground. My father was only thirty minutes away, but I didn’t call him because I didn’t want him to know.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

I envisioned my childhood while eating frozen dinners on disposable aluminum trays that provided exact portions of mixed vegetables, a meat concoction, manufactured potatoes, and bland apple crisp or a meek cherry cobbler. I saw my father, the stern, successful workaholic who built a trucking empire hauling frozen food and TV dinners throughout the Northwest. My mother dutifully heated and handed the aluminum trays to her children, and we ate in silence. As a stubborn girl, I defied the orderly presentation and pushed the wrinkled peas into the potatoes and plopped the dessert onto the meat. It all tasted the same, anyway. As we consumed our meal, I wondered how it would be to live in a place of warmth, peace, and laughter. I longed for a hearty homemade meal shared with a happy family, so I made it my mission to have that scenario.

My mother believed the biblical scripture that there was a time for everything, but she never anticipated going to court at age seventy-seven because of a lawsuit with her firstborn child. Her shoulders sagged as we approached the door, and I moved my arm around her. She seemed fragile and frightened, and I feared she would float away. The courthouse smelled of old wood and wax. We noted the schedule of trials, and Mom cringed when she read the notice: Plaintiff, Leona Ambrose. Defendant, Tom Ambrose, Sand Springs Ranch. The lawyer for the plaintiff was Richard C. Boardman from Perkins Coie in Boise. I was listed as the counter-defendant because my brother sued me in response to my mother’s suit against him

 

Here, on the hill near the potato field, I rejoiced in the splendor of my existence. That’s when I felt it. A calm sensation poured over me, stirred my very soul, and quietly released through unrestricted tears flowing down my cheeks. Through my blurred vision, I knew that this warm feeling was the peace I had read about in my grandmother’s Bible. And it was a peace that passed all understanding.

I finally understand why my mother, even in dementia, was so desperate to find her quilt. The patchwork pieces of our past are reminders of the frayed, personal fabric of our lives, but they also offer comforting, familiar proof of the happiness that occurred and the enduring strength necessary to hold it all together.

 

The Premiere Party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family will be Thursday, November 8 at Telaya Winery in Garden City, Idaho. Other books will be available for holiday and Christmas gifts. Laughter will outweigh any sadness.

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #memoir, Frozen Dinners, Idaho, Telaya Winery, trucking, tv dinners

“Frozen Dinners” Premiere Party is Nov. 8 at Telaya Winery

September 13, 2018 By Elaine Ambrose


Please join the celebration at the premiere party for Frozen Dinners – A Memoir of a Fractured Family.

Details and ticket prices are listed here.

Bestselling author Elaine Ambrose departs from her award-winning humor to describe her childhood in the village of Wendell, Idaho. Her father, an intense entrepreneur, created a trucking company in 1952 to haul frozen food throughout the Northwest. His businesses grew into a multi-million-dollar empire. After his untimely death, his survivors imploded in a maelstrom of brutal courtroom drama, heartbreak, and dementia. In this new memoir, Ambrose chronicles her 50-year-search for warmth beyond the family legacy of frozen dinners.

Ambrose Trucking, 1952

Guest options include autographed books, glasses of Telaya wine, delicious “TV Dinner” appetizers, custom cedar bookmarks, live music, free prizes, and a short reading. Additional books by the author will be available for purchase for holiday and Christmas gifting.

To balance the serious memoir, Elaine will have copies of “Laugh Out Loud” – an anthology featuring 40 of the best humor writers from the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Elaine’s short story is titled “The Music and Motors of My Life” and includes the tale of an unfortunate incident in a cattle truck.

Frozen Dinners is published by Brown Books Publishing Group of Dallas, Texas. For information about Elaine’s books, blogs, and events, see ElaineAmbrose.com.

Filed Under: blog, books, events Tagged With: #Idaho, #memoir, Christmas Shopping, Frozen Dinners, Holiday Shopping, premiere party, Telaya Winery

Midlife Happy Hour will Premiere at Regional PNBA Show

September 28, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

happyhour_sketches_v3

Midlife Happy Hour – Our Reward for Surviving Careers, Kids, and Chaos ranked #54 in pre-sold editions on Amazon.com out of thousands of books in the mid-life category. The book, a sequel to the award-winning, bestselling Midlife Cabernet, will be officially released on October 4, 2016. Pre-orders can be made now to insure first delivery from Amazon. The book also will be available in local stores, including Rediscovered Books in Boise, online, and through national bookstores.

Officials from the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association invited me to speak and premiere the new book at the tradeshow in Tacoma, Washington on Thursday, September 29. I’m leaving Thursday and promise not to embarrass the state or my family. On Friday, September 30, I’ll be speaking on an author/small publisher panel with Boise author AK Turner, Rediscovered Books owner Bruce DeLaney, and realtor/author Mike Turner, all from Boise. We’ll discuss methods of establishing positive relationships between writers, small publishers, bookstores, and the community.

The Boise area premiere party will be October 13 at Telaya Winery. A special edition red wine will be introduced using the cover of the book as the label on the bottle. The public is invited to attend and share laughter and libations.

elaine-mhh-wine

Product Details

    • Paperback: 224 pages
    • Publisher: Brown Books Publishing Group (October 4, 2016)
    • Language: English
    • ISBN-10: 1612549217
    • ISBN-13: 978-1612549217
    • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #220,814 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
      • #54 in Books > Self-Help > Mid-Life
      • #260 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Self-Help & Psychology
      • #309 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Parenting & Families

mhh-wine-bottle-label

Here are the chapter titles for Midlife Happy Hour:

  1. Early Signs I Wasn’t Eligible for Sainthood
  2. The Great TV Blooper of Southern Idaho
  3. What if Arts Patrons Acted Like Sports Fans?
  4. The World Can Kiss Our Attitude
  5. Stay Relevant and Thirsty, My Friend
  6. Why Your Children Are Cute but Should Move Out
  7. My Feminine Mystique Sprung a Leak
  8. Reinventing the Wheel of Fortune
  9. Validation on a Volcano
  10. Mom, I Joined the Army
  11. Balancing Midlife Without Falling Over
  12. Blog Your Way to Fame and Shame
  13. My Fish Won’t Hump Your Leg
  14. Still Laughing in the Empty Nest
  15. Midlife Crisis of Confidence
  16. Coloring Outside the Lines
  17. The Joy of Traveling with (Grown) Children
  18. Tell Enchanting Stories to the Grandkids
  19. My Views from Behind the Podium
  20. What to Wear if You Must Get Dressed
  21. The Suffragist Ghosts of Susan and Alice
  22. Why Caregivers Drink
  23. How to Plan a Funeral
  24. Happy Hour, At Last!

Midlife Happy Hour is available at bookstores, including Rediscovered Books in Boise and Barnes & Noble. Find it online at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. E-Book versions are available at Kindle, Nook, IBooks, and Google Play. An audio book will be released soon.

 

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #humor, #midlife, Midlife Happy Hour, Pacific Northwest Booksellers Association, PNBA, Telaya Winery

“Midlife Happy Hour” Celebrates Resilient Women

July 5, 2016 By Elaine Ambrose

Pictured from left, Christy Hovey, Sarah Tregay, Mary McFarland, Amy Davis, Elaine Ambrose, and Ophelia Ramirez
Pictured from left, Christy Hovey, Sarah Tregay, Mary McFarland, Amy Davis, Elaine Ambrose, and Ophelia Ramirez

The Midlife Happy Hour Club is a gregarious group of tenacious women who meet sporadically to celebrate festive occasions such as birthdays, a cure for irritable bowel syndrome, a Hollywood movie with a leading actress over 40, or the fact that a sales clerk actually noticed us. We gather for Happy Hour, the best time of our lives. We aren’t ready for closing time but prepared to celebrate a time of life when women finally get to sit down, raise a glass to toast the day, and boldly declare, “I’m relevant, resilient, and ready for another round!”

Charter Members of the local Midlife Happy Hour Club recently met at Telaya Winery in Garden City, Idaho to select the label for a special red wine to be introduced in October. The “Midlife Happy Hour” blend features choice grapes from the Snake River Valley and will be paired with the new book of the same name. The official premiere party is Thursday, October 13 at the winery. The front label for the bottle features the front cover of the book, and the back label contains information from Telaya Winery.

 

happyhour_sketches_v3

Midlife Happy Hour is the sequel to Midlife Cabernet, the 2014 book that reached #1 bestseller status in the humor category on Amazon.com. Publishers Weekly reviewed the book as “laugh-out-loud funny,” and Foreword Reviews wrote that the book was “an Erma Bombeckesque argument for joy.” The book won the Silver Medal for Humor from the Independent Book Publishers Book Award program.

Midlife Happy Hour describes a Midlife Happy Hour Club of six women who refuse to fade away as insignificant relics. We are ready to party because the kids are (mostly) grown, the menstrual periods stopped, and we survived four decades of dealing with corporate clowns. We know that it’s more fun to celebrate than to stab someone with a fork and deal with the messy court case and jail time. Good friends, laughter, and a bottle of wine are what every woman needs while adjusting to empty nests and full schedules, hyperactive adult children and ailing parents, and loose skin and tight budgets. We no longer believe the lie that we could do it all: Bring home the bacon, fry it in a designer pan, raise delightful children, and strut in stilettos with perky boobs bobbing to please our man. That myth contains more baloney that a cheap sandwich in a truck stop deli.

There are more than 40 million middle-aged women in the United States, and a significant number of us are ready for a break after decades of working various jobs, managing (or imagining) lovers, and solving one crisis after another. Happy hour allows women to enjoy the rewards of living long enough to see the kids grow up and move out, the mortgage decrease, and the bad boss get indicted. We did our time, and now the youngsters can take over and sashay through the doors that we struggled to open for them.

After all we’ve endured, we want to laugh. Now.

Midlife Happy Hour will be published by Brown Books Publishing Group in Dallas, Texas, www.BrownBooks.com. The book is available for pre-order on Amazon.com. Follow this link: Midlife Happy Hour.

 

Filed Under: blog Tagged With: #humor, #midlife, #Midlife Cabernet, happy hour, Telaya Winery

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